The smell of the disinfectant suddenly became pungent. Yao Can's eyelashes trembled against his palm, like the rain-drenched wings of a butterfly.
Only then did Xu Wuyan realize he was still holding her slender shoulders, her bones shockingly sharp beneath his hands.
"Let go," she said, her voice crusted with ice.
"Use and throw away?" Xu Wuyan deliberately breathed against the back of her neck. "Didn't you just say something about getting a marriage certificate?"
Yao Can whipped around, her pale lips nearly brushing his jaw.
Her pitch-black eyes churned with undercurrents. "You thought those words just now were a mere expediency?"
At the elevator bank, a security guard could be heard dispersing the crowd. Slanted sunlight cut into the hallway, tangling their shadows into an untieable knot.
"Your emotional fluctuations are too intense; it's a heavy burden on your heart. Let me take you for a walk."
Xu Wuyan took the initiative to let go of her. The blow after blow seemed to have left the young woman before him on the verge of shattering at any moment.
"I'm fine."
"Good if you're fine. Follow me, I'm taking you somewhere."
Without waiting for her agreement, Xu Wuyan turned and walked off. Only after he turned away did Yao Can let out a long breath, gripping her medical report hard. After a moment of hesitation, she turned and followed.
At eighteen, life was meant to be lived with unbridled freedom, but when this age met with death, one's life was bound to endure a catastrophic trial.
If anyone could understand Yao Can's state of mind right now, it had to be Xu Wuyan, because he had experienced such a trial with his own life.
Walking all the way, completely familiar with the route, he led her to the cancer ward and found the terminal logbook.
"What is this?" Yao Can asked, bewildered.
"A record of death. Come on, let's go sit outside."
Passing through the ward led to a rooftop terrace. Memories of Chen Fan still lingered here. Revisiting the old place, nothing had changed.
"You must have a lot to say to me."
"We met by chance. Thank you for today."
"You saved my life, and a life-saving grace should be repaid with a gushing spring. Sit here."
Xu Wuyan could sense that along the way, Yao Can's mood had begun to calm down. Although she was still very cold, the sunlight and sunflowers were at her side, and the warm environment managed to dispel some of her aloofness.
"You must have heard what I said earlier. I've run into some trouble. Since you have the heart to repay me, let's start with this."
Yao Can's words took him by surprise. He had always assumed that talk was just an expediency.
"Of course, if your talk of repaying me was just bullshit, you can refuse."
"Underestimating me?"
"You don't need to look at me like that. My father is in a coma, and the Yao Family is teetering on the edge. I need to secure that thirty percent of the shares as soon as possible. Only then can I prevent the Yao Family from falling into outsiders' hands."
"What do you want me to do? We are far too young to get a marriage certificate."
"Sign a marriage contract. This marriage contract is meant for the company's shareholders to see. Once the agreed-upon time in the contract passes, I will grant you your freedom and compensate you."
"Why choose me?" Xu Wuyan asked.
"Because you are a complete stranger. Is that reason enough?"
"A stranger?"
The corners of Xu Wuyan's mouth curled up. Instead of giving a definitive answer, he turned the topic aside by opening the terminal logbook. This made Yao Can furrow her brow.
"Found it," Xu Wuyan said suddenly.
"What?"
"Remember the aunt who jumped from the building in front of us earlier?"
Yao Can paused, leaning in to look at the notebook. On the page she was looking at, the aunt's unfulfilled wishes were written in red ink:
"May 12th, torrential rain.
The day you secretly cut your long hair to sell for money, the nurse said the pain of malignant tumor metastasis is equivalent to twenty ribs breaking at the same time. But my daughter, when I saw you clutching three hundred yuan and smiling at me, the ache in my heart couldn't be suppressed even by a pain pump."
"June 2nd, sunny.
Today in the dialysis room, I heard you arguing with Doctor Chen, saying the generic drugs I take are like sugar water mixed with glass shards. Actually, mother can taste the difference—the red date and white fungus soup you hide at the bottom of the thermos is much sweeter than morphine injections."
"July 13th, overcast and rainy.
Darling, when I heard you say in the hallway today that you wanted to split your life and give it to your mother, the cancer pain suddenly stopped hurting. Don't blame your mother for being cowardly; I thought about walking a few more days with my darling, until I discovered the treatment bills were spreading faster than the cancer cells."
"August 1st, sunny.
The hibiscus outside the window is blooming again. You always said they look like the new hair growing in after my chemotherapy made mine fall out. When the monitor went off last night, you were curled up asleep beside the bed like a shrimp, still clutching the organ donation coordinator's phone number in your hand. Mother secretly looped the nasal oxygen tube around your little pinky, so that even if I go to a world without painkillers, I can hold my little girl's hand for the final stretch."
"The most important thing: My corneas must be able to see what my daughter looks like in a wedding dress."
Seeing this, an indescribable pain surged into Xu Wuyan's heart. He was terrified of flipping through this notebook, yet he couldn't help looking every time. Every single page was filled to the brim with love.
"These are all the unfulfilled wishes of that aunt. She desperately wanted to keep living, desperately wanted to keep accompanying her daughter, but she couldn't."
"Do you know what I want to tell you?"
Xu Wuyan raised his head. Beside him, Yao Can's eyes were already misty with tears, perhaps reminded of her own mother. Her voice was slightly choked.
Yet even in this state, Yao Can's aloofness hadn't faded. She let out a cold snort. "Self-righteous."
"Putting on a brave face," Xu Wuyan retorted tit for tat.
This earned him an angry glare from Yao Can, though the glare carried a trace of tears, making her look rather like she was being bullied. Xu Wuyan couldn't help shaking his head with a bitter smile.
"You have to live to finish your own unfulfilled wishes. That aunt used her own death so that her daughter wouldn't be burdened. She loved her daughter so much that she knew only her own death could free everything."
"I just wanted to use this to tell you: live well. You are much luckier than this aunt, because you still have the chance to choose."
He was speaking from the heart. When facing death, not everyone had the chance to choose—just like this aunt, just like his former self.
"For the first time, I've discovered a man can be this long-winded."
Yao Can turned her head away, her tone already much softer.
"What I just said, you should be clear on it. Do you accept or refuse? Do you need time to think about it?"
"Naturally, I accept," Xu Wuyan closed the notebook, replying with a playful smile. "Getting such a pretty wife for free, do I have a reason to refuse?"
"Get lost."
Xu Wuyan was met with another roll of her eyes.
"Fine. Since you agree, let's discuss our specific situations. Let's start with you: name, place of origin."
"Is this a household registration check?"
"What else? Who knows if you have a criminal record? I am certainly not going to walk willingly into the tiger's den."
"Big Sister, get this straight: you're the one begging me right now."
"You get this straight too: if I find out you have a record of misdeeds, I will make you disappear without a trace."
"Damn, you're going to run a background check on me?"
"What else? Even if I didn't check, my dear younger sister would turn you inside out. Did you think I'd stupidly enter into a contract with you just like that? The prerequisite for this contract is that your identity won't bring me any subsequent trouble."