"Pei Huaiyu, I have been watching you. I have been watching you the entire time. What more do you want from me? Should I attach myself to you?"
Ruan Jiaojiao had shed her previous devil-may-care attitude, replaced now by a calm, tranquil gaze. There was not a shred of emotion in her eyes. This only made Pei Huaiyu’s anger and resentment appear all the more ridiculous. He opened his mouth, his voice raspy, but he suddenly stopped. Then, he let out a low laugh—a sound filled with self-mockery and irony. The laugh started faint, as if squeezed from the depths of his throat, before gradually growing louder, even trembling.
Ruan Jiaojiao shrugged dismissively. She stood on her tiptoes, leaned in close to him, and mimicked her drunken state from the night before. Her fingertips grazed his chest as she arched an eyebrow and smiled. "Is this what you want? I’ve told you 'I love you' so many times—can’t you tell which ones were true and which were false? If you want to hear it, I can keep saying it to you forever."
"And what about Prince Li? What is he to you?"
"Pei Huaiyu, who doesn't covet supreme power? No matter how capable you are, you are still a subject. Prince Li possesses the imperial authority that you can never give me. Besides, you yourself once said that people are born to pursue their own interests; you can't blame me for that."
"Ruan Jiaojiao, you truly have no heart." The words were almost squeezed out of Pei Huaiyu’s throat.
Ruan Jiaojiao painted herself in an increasingly cold, detached light, desperate to break free from this relationship. Thinking this absurd scene was finally over, she pushed away Pei Huaiyu, who had not made any further moves. But before she could take two steps, she was yanked back by a brute force. She stumbled into Pei Huaiyu’s chest, the impact sending a sharp jolt of pain through the wound on her back.
"Are you insane? Do you know where we are?!"
Pei Huaiyu lifted her up and forced her onto the kitchen counter, looking down at her. The usually upright and honorable Lord Chancellor had completely abandoned his decorum. A slow, twisted smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.
Ruan Jiaojiao heard his cold, chilling laughter and realized that the man now pressing against her was becoming increasingly terrifying. There were many ways for a man and a woman to entangle themselves, but Ruan Jiaojiao did not want to resort to this most degrading one. Realizing something was wrong, she used every ounce of her strength to push him away, but the frail scholar somehow possessed a savage strength.
Footsteps echoed outside the kitchen from time to time, making Ruan Jiaojiao’s heart tighten. She had chosen to come here to brew medicine after mealtime precisely because few people ever entered the kitchen. But even then, there was no guarantee that someone wouldn't hear the commotion and walk in.
Pei Huaiyu’s breathing grew increasingly ragged. One hand pinned Ruan Jiaojiao in place so she couldn't move, while the other slowly crept upward from her waist. His touch was like a cold, damp venomous snake coiling around her. The physical coldness and the internal terror made her feel completely violated.
Ruan Jiaojiao finally knew fear. Perhaps she shouldn't have provoked Pei Huaiyu when they were alone.
"Pei Huaiyu, I was just joking! You wouldn't want someone to walk in and see—wow—their master rolling around with a scullery maid, would you? Even though everyone in this manor knows you and I have something going on, but..."
The pain at her neck cut her words short, forcing a sharp intake of breath. She struggled frantically, trying to shove him away. "Pei Huaiyu! Are you a dog? You bit me?! Let me go, I don't want to go crazy with you—!"
But her resistance only seemed to excite him further. Pei Huaiyu wiped a trace of blood from the corner of his mouth with his thumb. The vibrant red against his pale skin made the noble Lord Chancellor look strangely bewitching. He reached out to the bowl containing the last few drops of the contraceptive brew, sneered, and let his icy fingers trail over her face. "Don't you like drinking it? I'm giving you the chance to drink your fill, so why aren't you happy?"
Ruan Jiaojiao was too terrified to even breathe. Pei Huaiyu finally saw the fear in her eyes and smiled with satisfaction. He leaned in, his warm breath fanning against her ear as he spoke in a low, cruel tone: "Do you think you are worthy of bearing my child? Do you know why I dislike being close to Pei Qi'an? He is weak and incapable of shouldering heavy responsibilities. Every time he smiles, he looks just like his lowly mother. It disgusts me to look at him..."
*Slap!*
The sharp sound of a palm striking flesh exploded in the air, as if time itself had frozen. Pei Huaiyu could have dodged it, but he didn't. His face was forced to the side by the blow, a clear handprint instantly rising on his fair skin. He stood stunned for a moment before slowly turning his head back, his eyes filled with a bleak, complex sorrow.
"No matter what happens between us, An'an is innocent! You are his father—how can you humiliate him like this? He only has you!"
"And what about you? You don't even dare to acknowledge your own son. Ruan Jiaojiao, you aren't fit to be a mother."
Ruan Jiaojiao was left speechless. Two people struggling in a vortex of emotion, falling apart with every cruel word spoken.
A-Jiu rushed over upon hearing the noise. "Master, are you alright?!"
The heat of that slap was still burning on Pei Huaiyu’s face. "Take Ruan Jiaojiao back to the woodshed. Without my orders, do not let her out."
A-Jiu did not act immediately; his hand hovered in mid-air, retracting and reaching out again, unsure of what to do. Taking advantage of his hesitation, Ruan Jiaojiao turned and stumbled away, her silhouette thin and resolute. "I'll go myself!"
Outside the door, A-Jiu had vaguely heard the arguing. He truly felt that things shouldn't have reached this point. But he was a servant; it was not his place to interfere in his master’s affairs. He could only watch from the sidelines. He couldn't help but mutter under his breath, "Master, you clearly care so much about the young master and Miss Ruan, so why did you have to say such horrible things?"
He knew that the reason his master didn't dare get close to the young master was because the boy looked more like Miss Ruan as he grew older. His master feared that if he looked at him, he would lose control in front of the child and frighten him, so he had to force himself to keep his distance. Yet, A-Jiu had seen his master sneak in to look at the boy in the middle of the night more than once. When the boy was ill, his master would scour the land for the best medicine and the best doctors, struggling to help him grow up safely like a normal child.
"If your tongue is that loose, I'll have it cut out."
Pei Huaiyu turned a small medicine jar in his hand. His expression was inscrutable, his heart feeling as though it were being gripped by something, squeezing so hard he could barely breathe.
Who knew that inside Pei Huaiyu’s sleeve was another jar of ointment—a salve he had begged from the Prince that very morning to heal the scars on Ruan Jiaojiao’s body. Who knew that on his way back, he had been filled with joy, desperate to lay the best things in the world at her feet. Who knew that when he heard she had been drinking contraceptive brew, his first reaction wasn't anger at her deception, but a hope that she hadn't harmed her own health—a hope that she would be honest with him.
He didn't blame her. He would have respected any choice she made, as long as it didn't involve leaving him.
But Ruan Jiaojiao had chosen to lie to him anyway. Nine out of ten words out of that woman's mouth were lies. It was true in the past, and it was true now. Her love for him was a lie. Her willingness to stay was a lie. Her promise to start over was a lie. Everything was a lie.
Ruan Jiaojiao was a liar. She lied to him again and again. And he… he was just a fool who was more than willing to be deceived.