However, after Prince Li discovered that she had helped Pei Huaiyu, he cruelly murdered her parents.
At that moment, she truly realized she couldn't save anyone.
An'an, too, was a pitiful soul.
To have a mother as useless as herself!
"I couldn't take An'an with me. I could only give a large sum of money to a family that once received my kindness, asking them to look after him until everything settled down. Once things were calm, you would receive the message I left for you, allowing you to bring An'an back."
Ruan Jiaojiao knew her explanation sounded pathetic, but when facing fate, she couldn't have it both ways. Whenever she saw the look of disappointment on Pei Huaiyu’s face, how could she pretend that nothing had happened?
Yet, Pei Huaiyu’s conviction that she had abandoned her husband and son was deep-rooted. He stood there, the atmosphere around him as cold as an ice cellar in the dead of winter. "Was it that you couldn't take him, or that you didn't want to? Or perhaps you felt that Pei Qi'an was a burden, keeping you from finding a new lover?"
A knock sounded at the door again.
It was a four-year-old child: "Father."
Uncle A-Jiu was unaware of the deathly tension inside. He had always been afraid of this young master who looked as if a gust of wind could knock him over. Moreover, the young master looked exactly like his master, and when that little face was set in a frown, the resemblance was even more striking.
An'an lowered his gaze. "Uncle A-Jiu, the servants clearly saw Father enter the bedchamber. Why is he unwilling to see me?"
A-Jiu took a deep breath. "Young Master, please wait a moment. Perhaps your father is busy with urgent matters. Look, the wind is blowing quite hard; why don't you go back and rest first? When your father is finished, you can come back. How about that?"
An'an looked disappointed, still holding a scroll in his hand.
"Come in."
Pei Huaiyu's response finally came.
An'an’s stiff little face instantly relaxed. He patted his clothes and straightened himself up before happily running inside with small, quick steps.
An'an was young, and the moment he pushed the door open, even if he sensed that his usually stern father was acting strangely, he couldn't quite put his finger on what was wrong.
"Father, I have memorized the entire *Classic of Poetry*. I hope you will examine me."
Ruan Jiaojiao was hiding behind the screen, originally intending to jump out the window and flee, but upon hearing An'an's voice, she couldn't help but stop. When she left, An'an was still a child who couldn't even speak in full sentences; now, he could recite these difficult classics.
He stood tall and straight, his little face strikingly like his father's. Though An'an was frail, his talent for study was on par with his father's. While other children of his age were just starting their education, he was already reading the classics.
But Ruan Jiaojiao didn't think this was good. Looking at An'an’s rigid, solemn demeanor, she knew without needing to see that Pei Huaiyu was extremely strict with him, just as he had once been with her.
When they had first married, Ruan Jiaojiao didn't understand classical Chinese and had no desire to study those arduous texts. Ever since she had transmigrated into the book and failed in her idealistic attempt to use modern technology to change the ancient world, she had grown even more averse to studying. Yet, Pei Huaiyu would constantly fill her head with sage wisdom and personally teach her calligraphy.
Just that face—which perfectly aligned with her aesthetic—clasping her hand to teach her stroke by stroke... Ruan Jiaojiao found it even harder to focus, spending the whole time staring at his face instead.
Back then, Pei Huaiyu would flick her forehead. "Are the characters written on my face?"
Ruan Jiaojiao would pin him against the wall and pose, saying, "If they were written on your face, I might pay more attention."
Then, she would be tasked with writing two sheets of large characters instead of one.
And she’d get a rap from a ruler.
Pathetic.
If she didn't write, Pei Huaiyu would stare at her until she finished. She had cursed Pei Huaiyu behind his back plenty of times back then.
But it had to be said, thanks to those things, her life in this ancient world had been much easier; she could go toe-to-toe with any pedantic bookworm she met. If women hadn't been barred from the imperial examinations, Ruan Jiaojiao felt she could have at least snagged a minor official post. However, she didn't care for officialdom; she loved her freedom, and those rules were meaningless to her.
An'an had perfectly inherited his father's strengths and was adept at studying, but even after he recited the passage perfectly, Pei Huaiyu remained unsatisfied. "The latter section is not yet fluent enough."
His tone was flat, devoid of any praise.
Ruan Jiaojiao felt irritated listening from behind the screen. If it were her, she would have smothered her precious son with kisses.
"Father..." An'an seemed to have something to say. Before speaking, he worried his father might refuse, so he cautiously went to pour a cup of tea for him. He hesitated for a long moment before speaking slowly, "Son has been drinking his medicine and nourishing his body well lately. Your own writings state that only by being close to the people can an official understand their needs and bring them prosperity. Therefore... Son wishes to go out and see the world."
"No."
Pei Huaiyu refused without a moment's hesitation.
Ruan Jiaojiao was indignant. "Isn't a child just wanting to go out and play? Besides, he said he wanted to learn. Pei Doggy is truly excessive... Help!"
No sooner had she spoken than she leaned in a bit too close to listen, accidentally knocking over the screen and falling flat on her face.
"Hiss..."
Ruan Jiaojiao clutched her head and looked up to see those two faces, one large and one small, staring at her silently.
Pei Huaiyu’s lack of reaction was one thing, but why was An'an such a little stick-in-the-mud just like his father? He showed no extra reaction at all; other than those cheeks that looked like they begged to be pinched, he didn't look like a child at all.
Ruan Jiaojiao looked at the screen she had shattered again. The patterns were unique and delicate; it clearly looked expensive. She felt a bit unsure of herself. "Pei Huaiyu, this... I shouldn't have to pay for this, right?"
Pei Huaiyu chuckled, a dark, gloomy edge to his voice. "No need to pay with money. Pay with your head instead; this is an imperial gift."
Ruan Jiaojiao shrunk her neck. She always acted like this whenever she caused trouble.
An'an asked, "Father, who is this?"
His memories from before the age of two were long gone, and the same went for his biological mother. His father never liked to talk about her, and what he had heard from others about his mother were only stories of her despicable actions.
As for the woman who had suddenly appeared in Pei Huaiyu’s room, though she was clearly a stranger, An'an didn't know why, but just by her standing there, he felt a strange sense of familiarity and a longing to be near her.
Pei Huaiyu didn't answer directly. It seemed he wanted to toss the question to Ruan Jiaojiao, waiting for her to answer for herself. Unfortunately, she disappointed him.
Ruan Jiaojiao scrambled to her feet, brushed herself off, and acted as if nothing had happened, turning to An'an. "An'an, right? I am an old friend of your father's. You can call me Auntie Jiaojiao."
Upon hearing these words, Pei Huaiyu’s fingers tightened inch by inch. The celadon teacup let out a groan of protest in his palm, and fine cracks spread across the surface. With a *crack*, it shattered in his hand; shards pierced his palm, and fresh blood dripped down his wrist.
Unlike the stranger who only made him feel a strange sense of familiarity, An'an was far more worried about Pei Huaiyu and hurriedly went to find A-Jiu.
Even his son looked nervous, but Ruan Jiaojiao did not!
"Get out!" Pei Huaiyu let out a low roar.
Whether he was speaking to Ruan Jiaojiao or An'an, it was impossible to tell.