When Chen Mo squatted at the head of Naihe Bridge to debug the app, he finally understood what it meant to "conquer both the mortal world and the Underworld." Ever since Meng Po Soup was rebranded as "Carefree Milk Tea," its sales directly crushed any popular milk tea brand in the mortal world, and even Meng Po now wore a cat-ear headband and greeted customers with, "Hello, Master!"
"Boss Chen!" Ox-Head drifted around a corner on his electric scooter, his delivery box bearing the slogan: *We deliver even if it kills us.* "A customer in the Third Hell is complaining that their magma hot pot is getting cold! They said if you're late again, they're leaving a bad review!" Chen Mo pulled out the Judge's brush and modified it into a heating rod on the spot. "Stick it in the magma for a couple of dips, and remember to write 'office supplies' on the invoice!"
"System Mission: Boost the Underworld delivery positive review rate to 4.9."
"Reward: Yama Throne Trial Pass (24 hours)."
Chen Mo dispatched the Husky to serve as a delivery supervisor, and the beast became the terror of ghosts by the next day—broadcasting live from the boiling oil hell, packaging fried evil ghosts as "Hell Tempura," and egging on Horse-Face to add tapioca pearls to Meng Po's milk tea. This caused a bug in the reincarnation system, pushing the queue for reincarnating souls back to the BC era.
"Brother Chen!" The Broom Spirit rushed in holding a burning order. "A customer named Ying Zheng ordered the elixir of life, and the delivery note says to use SF Express with rush shipping!" Chen Mo looked at the return address—"Lishan Imperial Mausoleum"—and silently stuffed a copy of *Five Years of Foundation Establishment, Three Years of Simulation* into the package.
On the day the Yama Hall was remodeled into a customer service center, the entire eighteen layers of hell lost internet access. When Chen Mo rushed over on his Wind Fire Wheels to fix it, he found Sun Wukong pulling the network cable. "Old Sun's live PK battle cannot lose to the Ten Kings of Hell!" In the livestream chat, Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva was co-broadcasting with Tang Seng: "If Hell isn't empty, I won't use beauty filters, folks, let's get those gifts rolling!"
"Boss Chen!" White Impermanence dashed into the monitoring room, his tongue dragging on the floor. "Zhong Kui moved our shared Meng Po Soup dispenser to soak his feet!" When Chen Mo arrived at the scene, Zhong Kui was giving a thumbs-up to the livestream camera. "Soaking your feet in this soup—even Yama would call it fantastic!"
At the late-night review meeting, Chen Mo discovered that the Underworld's best-selling item was actually the "Dream-Visiting Package." The "Smart Spirit Money Burning App" developed by Wenqu Xing could convert underworld paper money into electronic Merit, making the God of Wealth so furious that he posted on the Celestial Realm forum: "This disrupts the financial order! I move to have them banned!"
During the Double Twelve promotion, Naihe Bridge was jammed solid. Ox-Head and Horse-Face held up megaphones and shouted, "Please take a number for reincarnation, Meng Po Soup is half price for the second cup!" Chen Mo temporarily assigned Sun Wukong to act as a traffic enforcer, but the monkey turned the reincarnation passage into a "Random Reincarnation Mystery Box," suddenly flooding the mortal world with hundreds of chuunibyou youths claiming to be the reincarnation of Qin Shi Huang.
"Boss Chen, we've got a big order!" The Broom Spirit spun around in excitement. "The Jade Emperor wants to host the New Year's Eve banquet at Yaochi, and specifically requested the Underworld's magma hot pot!" Chen Mo looked at the order notes—*Mild spicy, no evil ghosts*—and turned around to shove the Husky into the insulated box. "Don't you dare eat the food on the way! Last time you chewed up the Judge's brush and made me write a self-criticism report!"
As the fleet of delivery drones crossed the boundary between Yin and Yang, the Celestial Court's air defense sirens wailed wildly. Lord of Thunder and Goddess of Lightning thought it was an invasion by the Demon Realm, and blasted the hot pot base into molecular gastronomy. Queen Mother of the West brandished a charred slice of mutton and threw a fit: "Is this what you call the 'Heavenly Thunder Strikes Earthly Fire' set meal?"
While Chen Mo was squatting at the South Heavenly Gate writing a self-criticism report, his phone popped up a new mission: "Rescue the delivery guy trapped in a bad review." Tapping into the details of the bad review, Ox-Head was stuck inside a courier locker in some mortal residential complex: "Help! This iron box keeps demanding facial recognition!"
At the cross-realm summary meeting, Yama held the "Three Realms Best Partner" trophy with tears in his eyes: "Little Chen, ever since we got into food delivery, our Underworld KPI has skyrocketed! There's just one tiny problem..." Chen Mo looked up at the heat map on the projection screen—the traffic jam on Naihe Bridge stretched all the way to the Jade Emperor's front door.
When the meeting adjourned, the Husky trotted over with a mysterious package, the sender listed as "Secret Admirer." The moment Chen Mo tore it open, a holographic projection of Lin Wanqing popped out: "Darling, I opened an 'Ex-Lovers Crematorium,' and the first package is on me!" Before he could react, the system automatically deducted 9,999 Merit points.
In the dead of night at the Underworld logistics center, Chen Mo was cross-referencing the Book of Life and Death like an Excel spreadsheet. Suddenly, alarms blared—Sun Wukong had modified a delivery drone into a fighter jet and was locked in a dogfight with Erlang Shen's Xiaotian Hound for "Celestial Court Airspace Supremacy." The chat screen was flooded with scrolling messages: "Thanks for the rocket, folks! Next wave of Merit airdrop coming soon!"
His phone suddenly vibrated, and a new mission popped up: "Achieve same-day delivery between the Celestial Realm and the Underworld within forty-eight hours." Chen Mo looked out the window at the ghostly green delivery carts drifting by, suddenly broke into a grin, and poured Meng Po Soup straight into the Alchemical Furnace. "Brothers, it's time to show the Jade Emperor what it means to *deliver even if it kills us*!"