A crane held an LED signboard in its beak, forming a fluorescent arrow in the clouds that read "Direct Route to the Spring Festival Gala." Chen Mo's straw sandals had barely touched the carpet at the preliminary auditions when an auto-costuming spell slapped a diamond-studded tuxedo onto him—complete with a scrolling marquee across the back reading: "Generously Sponsored by the First Generation Patriarch." A Husky bolted blindly into the dressing room, its paws flipping over three catties of celestial face powder. The resulting sneeze blasted a cloud of rainbow-colored dog fur straight into Li Wuhen's face, instantly transforming his icy expression into a visual-kei smokey-eye disaster.
"Contestants, draw your talent lots!" Yue Lao shouted, holding up a bamboo tube that shrieked in agony. Nangong Lie drunkenly drew "Splitting a Huge Boulder on the Chest," but the props crew hauled out a life-sized collectible figurine of the First Generation Patriarch instead. The moment the Demon Lord's Black Gold Halberd brushed against the figure, the plaster statue suddenly launched into a lively Shin Treasure Island dance, its swiveling hips tearing open a hidden compartment that spewed out three hundred "Fairy of Yaochi Swimsuit Trading Cards." When the rightful owner discovered the stash, a hailstorm broke out across the entire audition venue, every single hailstone freezing a censored bleep of profanity inside.
When it was the Fairy of Yaochi's turn to perform the Flowing Cloud Slee…
Chapter 55