"There are three movies in the *The Four* series, and none of them really lost money—otherwise they wouldn't have made three. Still, the box office wasn't high, so they probably didn't make much either."
"Do you know what the most ridiculous thing about this movie is? You played 'Emotionless,' one of the Four Constables, and just to let you play the part, they up and changed the character into a woman."
"The costumes, makeup, and styling are also beyond words. Your costume looked like you were wearing a burlap sack, though later some people said that even if you wear a sack you still look good..."
"And another thing, you're the female lead, but your performance was so bland it counts as an ineffective performance. It didn't even stand out as much as your green tea classmate Jiang Yiyan's bathing scene."
The young girl found her point of interest: "A green tea classmate? You mean climbing-mountain girl? What's the story there?"
Chen Hao didn't actually like speaking ill of people behind their backs, but he really didn't like this particular green tea, so he didn't hold back.
"That classmate of yours is a well-known green tea in the entertainment industry, up to all sorts of shady stunts—things like being a volunteer teacher, a famous architect, and so on."
"As for what has to do with you, when you were on a show together, she threw shade at you right to your face, saying you rarely went to school and almost never saw you there. That eye-roll you gave back then—absolute classic moment in Chinese entertainment history."
The young girl clenched her teeth and said, "Keep going with the works."
"《The Assassins》—an epic-level mega-flop. You played Lingju, the daughter of Lü Bu and Diaochan, raised from childhood to be an assassin. When you grew up, you used your beauty to get close to Cao Cao, then tried to assassinate him, and you had a bed scene with Huang Silang that was just hideous. The plot was unspeakably rotten..."
"《The Third Way of Love》—a Chinese-South Korean co-production. The cliché script, the romance that came out of nowhere... Stories about Chinese actresses dating foreigners like this are really unpopular..."
"《Outcast》—a Hollywood project. You teamed up with Nicolas Cage, the two ultimate box-office poison pills. A stand-up comedian described it like this: 'This movie opened on Tomb Sweeping Day, died a miserable death, and as soon as the audience finished watching it, they burned their movie tickets—talk about festive holiday atmosphere'..."
"《The Third Way of Love》—nothing much to say about the plot, but because of this movie, you and that South Korean male lead announced your romance. Dating a stick, whether it was real or just hype, is all said and done—this became one of your biggest black marks in your later period..."
"《The Nightingale》—a Sino-French co-produced arthouse film. The promoters used a poster of you with your entire bare back exposed for erotic marketing. But it did damn well nothing, only won a few obscure awards, and the box office wasn't high either—a loss."
"《So Young》—unspeakably rotten. The male lead later committed rape and gang rape, and was sentenced to 11 and a half years. The guy debuted as an idol and is famous for not knowing how to act, yet in this movie, you actually got overshadowed by him..."
The young girl was a bit broken: "Is my acting really that bad?"
Seeing the young girl's psychological defense cracking, Chen Hao playfully added: "Don't rush, the next two movies got you awards."
Finally, some good news—the young girl perked right up.
Chen Hao smiled warmly and said, "Two movies of yours came out in the exact same year, 《Once Upon a Time》 and 《In Love and War》. These two films won you an annual award."
The young girl asked excitedly, "What award?"
Chen Hao: "The Golden Broom Award, sort of like the foreign Golden Raspberry Awards."
The young girl saw darkness before her eyes. She knew what the Golden Raspberry Awards were—the annual worst actor award.
Is this what you call winning an award, you bastard? I really want to bash your dog head in!
Chen Hao continued: "The organizers' review: In both 《Once Upon a Time》 and 《In Love and War》, Liu Yifei used a way of pretending to be artistic while actually faking it to cover up her sheer lack of acting skills. This dull, so-called artistic vibe turned the dead calm on Liu Yifei's facial expressions into an imagined stillness..."
The young girl flew into a rage: "Skip, skip, get straight to the next one!"
Chen Hao's next words sounded slightly nicer: "Your next movie is called 《Hanson and the Beast》. Actually, I quite like this movie. Even though the plot is still a bit rotten and the lines are retarded, you playing a shape-shifting vixen fits the role extremely well. Personally, I think it's the best of all your movies, but unfortunately the investment was a bit high—close to 200 million invested, less than 300 million at the box office. Still a loss."
"Your last movie is 《Mulan》, released in 2020. A Disney ultra-A-grade mega-production with a 250 million US dollar budget, but also the one that lost the most money."
"Actually, this movie losing money didn't have much to do with you, because the director was a foreigner and made your makeup look so ugly that people started the narrative that you were painted with Japanese makeup."
"And the plot was just foreigners 'I reckon' and 'I suppose,' resulting in neither the East nor the West being pleased."
"But no matter the reason, at the end of the day you were the big female lead, so after this movie completely tanked, you never got to make another film..."
When Chen Hao finished speaking, the young girl couldn't snap back to reality for a long time. You couldn't even use "box-office poison" to describe this—it should be called "cursed by the god of bad luck." Has there ever been a lead actor in film history to flop 19 movies in a row like this?
While the young girl was still feeling emo, Chen Hao started twisting the knife with his sharp tongue: "That's just how life is, always ups and downs, downs, downs, downs, downs, downs, downs, downs..."
Yet he didn't mention a single word about how the Fairy Sister would explode in popularity with three hit dramas in the next three years.
However, the young girl only felt emo for a moment before snapping back to her senses. Wait a minute, these are all things that haven't even happened yet—what am I being sad about here?
I'm different now. I have uncle as my cheat code, and with him vetting things, I definitely won't be making any more rotten movies in the future.
I really am the daughter of destiny. I'm going to be the box office queen, a people's performing artist...
After chatting, the two of them finished eating and got up to leave.
The Fairy Sister drove Chen Hao over to Nanluoguxiang and parked the car in front of the entrance of a siheyuan.
Though Chen Hao found it a bit strange, he didn't ask and just followed her inside. An honest blockhead whose movies could bomb 19 times in a row—how bad could her intentions possibly be?
This was a single-courtyard residence. Although it was only a single courtyard, it was quite spacious, planted with two crabapple trees, and had a lotus stone vat in the middle where you could keep little goldfish. Though small as a sparrow, it was fully equipped with all vital organs: main rooms, side rooms, eastern and western wing rooms, and screen wall rooms all present.
"Uncle, do you like it? It definitely won't be convenient for you once you move into the dorms, so this little courtyard is for you." The young girl handed over a set of keys like she was offering a treasure.
"What's this? You want to keep me as your kept man?" Chen Hao teased.
"Haha, your current pretty-boy image really suits being kept. But actually, this is your dividend payout. You previously said that Beijing siheyuan would appreciate heavily in value, so I bought a few sets. Sure enough, they've shot up like crazy over the past few years, and my courtyards have multiplied in value many times over."
"So it's not being kept?" Chen Hao felt somewhat disappointed. Actually, he wouldn't mind too much being kept by the Fairy Sister—after all, that was what he used to do in his past life.