"Is it really that important to know what kind of creature you are?" Lu Mingze said flatly. "Some things—once you know them, they only add to your worries. You're better off just living in a blur."
"It is important," Lu Mingsee said softly, the evening breeze stirring the hair on his forehead. "Only when you know what you are can you know why you're living. Only then does life have meaning."
"That really doesn't sound like something you'd say, Brother. It still feels a bit unusual to me." The Little Devil tilted his head to look at Lu Mingfei. "You've grown up."
"Is that so?" A faint, quiet smile touched the corners of Lu Mingfei's mouth. He remembered that summer night at Aspasia when Chen Wenwen had said those exact words to him. That day was his nineteenth birthday.
Had he really grown up back then? Not really, perhaps. He had simply stood up for Chen Wenwen, treating her to a meal arranged by the senior and the boss. Even though, after a series of events, Chen Wenwen had gone back to Zhao Menghua, and the two of them were now as affectionate as an old married couple... He still remembered how Lu Mingze kept instilling the principles of power and authority in him that night, and how he had firmly believed he would never become that kind of person.
Now that Lu Mingze also said he had grown up, he suddenly felt that he really was different. The old him had worn a suit and sipped expensive, nameless red wine, yet deep down he was still just a kid who wanted to hide in his own world. But now, he suddenly discovered he truly was different. He was gradually turning into the person he had described to the senior that night—the supreme, almighty version of Lu Mingfei.
Did that count as turning into the very thing he once hated most?
"No, no, Brother," Lu Mingze seemed to know what he was thinking. "People always change after going through things, don't they?"
Indeed. Having gone through so much—what was gained and what was lost, the days he clung to most and the memories he least wanted to bring up.
If he hadn't been so useless and pathetic, the Little Monster wouldn't have died. Even though he had traded a quarter of his life for the thunderous wrath over Tokyo Bay, he could never buy back that girl's life.
"You finally realize the importance of power and authority, Brother," Lu Mingze said. "She was a girl who loved you, but you lacked the power to protect her, so all you could do was hold her and cry helplessly. Regret is the most useless thing in the world. Aside from making you endlessly chew on the pain in your memories, it has no meaning at all."
"If this world could be changed... is that even possible?" Lu Mingfei said softly.
"You mean twisting the timeline?" Lu Mingze said flatly. "I told you before, Brother. Have you forgotten? On the roof of the Fuyuan Restaurant, even with my abilities, that was the last time I could reopen the door to the past for you. Some things, once missed, can never be taken back. Not every ending can twist and turn and still bring people together like Chen Wenwen and Zhao Menghua."
"What about you?" Lu Mingfei asked. "You always say that from beginning to end, the only one who stays with me is you, but clearly you're just a demon who devours lives."
"I'll always be with you, Brother," Lu Mingze turned his head, a clean smile blooming on his fair, delicate face. "If Brother goes to heaven, I go to heaven. If Brother goes to hell, I follow Brother to hell."
"Hmph," Lu Mingfei couldn't help feeling both exasperated and amused. "You always manage to make it sound so loyal, yet all you ever pull are underhanded stunts."
"You're making that accusation without any proof, Brother. We demons have a reputation for keeping our word." Lu Mingze put on a look as if he were about to burst into tears. "Just look at me—when have I ever let Brother take a loss? On every major holiday, I give Brother countless free perks!"
"Save it," Lu Mingfei said, though a smile still slipped onto his face despite himself. "You aren't trying to numb me right now so you can just finish me off in a moment, are you?"
"Brother, just think about it—when have I ever harmed you? When have I not been on Brother's side?" Lu Mingze said with a wronged air. "Yet Brother still doesn't trust me!"
It was bizarre. Lu Mingze clearly possessed nearly infinite power, claiming to be a demon wielding the authority of the world, yet right now he preferred to throw tantrums and play the fool.
"I gave you three-quarters of my life. By any account, we've been through life and death together," Lu Mingfei made a joke to steer the conversation away. "Yet you won't even tell me what I am or what you are."
"That's a matter of principle. One-quarter of a life, non-negotiable."
"Then I might as well just kick the bucket right now, wouldn't I? Might as well just live a little longer in a blur."
"Yareyare, so Brother can live in a blur after all."
Lu Mingfei smiled helplessly and suddenly reached out to ruffle Lu Mingze's hair. It was still as soft and fluffy as in his memory, as docile as a cat.
"At least you should tell me why you're waiting for me here."
"This is Brother's dreamscape," Lu Mingze jumped down from the windowsill and pulled Lu Mingfei up. "Come on, let's walk around."
Lu Mingfei had no reason to refuse; he also wanted to see if there were any other places in the dream.
According to Dr. Duden, this was the lowest layer of the dream, holding the truest and most familiar stories. Yet so far, nothing had appeared to make him doubt its reality, and the moment he stepped in, he had found the Little Devil waiting for him.
Lu Mingze pulled him as they ran out of the classroom and down the school corridor. Lu Mingfei suddenly felt a wave of disorientation, because the corridor in his memory didn't seem quite like this—it seemed a bit too long. Relying on the observational skills he had gained from demonic training, he counted the rooms here: exactly thirty-eight. He seemed to see a number marked on every single door, from thirty-eight down to one.
Then Lu Mingze stopped. Looking past his head, Lu Mingfei saw a thirty-ninth room—a solitary iron door with a giant "Zero" painted in red lacquer.
"Room Zero?" Lu Mingfei suddenly found it all incomparably familiar, so familiar that he ought to even know how the items behind that door were arranged. But when he tried hard to remember what those things were, the memories blurred again.
"What a boring place," the Little Devil said coldly. "Let's go, Brother."
With that, he stepped forward and pushed open the iron door, which seemed as heavy as a thousand pounds.
Light poured from behind him. He squinted and looked back. An angel pushed open the door.
"Ricardo, we're out of time. Are we still going to continue with the activity?"
Such a familiar phrase, and such a familiar voice.
Then he saw clearly the figure emerging from the light.
Alluring as a blossom, cold and sharp as a blade.
"Nono..." he called out softly.
"Hmph!" Someone nearby scoffed disdainfully.
"What the hell?" Lu Mingfei jerked awake. The light vanished abruptly, and he was still standing in the screening room that had changed his destiny, but there were only two people here: himself and Lu Mingze.
"This is the place that changed Brother's destiny, the place where the Kassel Gate opened for you," Lu Mingze sat on the edge of the stage, letting his legs dangle over the side.
"How do you know about this?" Lu Mingfei said. "We hadn't met yet at this time."
"I've always been with you, Brother. From the day you were born until the day you die." Lu Mingze tilted his head to look at him, his expression serious.
"Nonsense. From the day I was born—are you the older brother or am I?" Lu Mingfei rolled his eyes, walked over to Lu Mingze, and hoisted himself up onto the stage.
He was picked up by Nono right here, and as a result, his entire life had been completely changed. Everything from the past drifted away from him like floating shadows and flickering lights.
"You suppose if the one who came to pick you up back then hadn't been Nono, would your life be a bit better now?" Lu Mingze asked, sounding as casual as could be.
Lu Mingfei was silent for a moment before replying, "Maybe."
But then he smiled helplessly. "What's the use of talking about that now? Senior Sister already picked me up. Although my biggest dream in the past was just to muddle through life waiting to die, there's no going back—not since the day Senior Sister picked me up."
"That dead kid is still living inside your heart, Brother. If you ask me, your Senior Sister shouldn't have picked you up in the first place, and then all these troubles wouldn't have happened."
Lu Mingfei smiled bitterly and shook his head. "I don't regret being picked up by Senior Sister. I only regret that later on, there were some things I couldn't do better."
Indeed, he had never regretted leaving with Nono that night. He had never regretted knowing Nono, and through her, knowing the loser Finger, the senior and the boss, the Elephant Turtle brothers, and the Little Monster. He only regretted that when he could have done better, he had chosen to be a loser, leading to the loss of so many things once again.
Suddenly, he missed Senior Sister dearly. He wondered if Caesar had gone to Tokyo to pick up Senior Sister by now.
"Brother, you always like to think about all sorts of random things, which is why you're always so tired." Lu Mingfei turned his head and found Lu Mingze already standing in front of the screen—right in the spot where he himself had once stood, where all one had to do was place a sheet of copy paper in the back and turn on the projector in the front, and a lowercase "i" would appear on the paper.
"This exact spot? How unoriginal," Lu Mingze shook his head with utter disdain. "Too bad I wasn't around back then, or I wouldn't have let Brother take that kind of abuse."
"Then I wouldn't have met Senior Sister, right?" Lu Mingfei said with a faint smile.
"Your Senior Sister only makes you sad. I don't want Brother to be sad." Lu Mingze's delicate, pretty face was filled with earnestness.
"What do you know?" Lu Mingfei couldn't help rolling his eyes. "Don't forget your definition is a demon. You said it yourself, demons don't understand love."
"Is what you had even considered love, Brother?" Lu Mingze said flatly. "Maybe you don't understand what love is either?"
"None of your business," Lu Mingfei grunted. "You aren't even thirteen yet, are you? You still buy child tickets at amusement parks."
Lu Mingze smiled and walked over to Lu Mingfei, intimately hooking his arm through Lu Mingfei's. "Let's go, Brother, to the next stop."
"Next stop? Where?"
"That's for Brother to ask. This is your dreamscape; only you know what matters most."
The two of them walked side by side out of the screening room doors. Parked at the entrance was not a red Ferrari, but a silver-gray Bugatti Veyron.
He and Nono had once sat in this sports car, driving along the winding mountain road toward some unknown destination. Back then, it was the fastest mass-produced supercar in the world, yet it still couldn't outrun time.
Now this Bugatti Veyron was back, perhaps never having truly left his memory. Lu Mingze pulled open the car door and invited Lu Mingfei in, taking the driver's seat himself—an exact reversal of their encounter on the mountain road all those years ago.
"I thought it would be a red Ferrari," Lu Mingfei stroked the familiar yet unfamiliar car door and said softly.
"Actually, I thought so too." Lu Mingze skillfully pressed the clutch and shifted gears, and the Bugatti Veyron sped off amidst the roar of the engine.
They drove along the familiar route into the CBD district. There were no other vehicles on the road. Outside the car windows, the CBD was brightly lit, but that was the outside world, so very far away from Lu Mingfei inside the car.
Lu Mingze must have learned driving from goodness knows where. Even on an empty elevated highway, there ought to be a speed limit, but he slammed the accelerator all the way down. The scenery outside the window retreated like lightning, and the powerful G-force pressed Lu Mingfei hard against his seat. Lu Mingfei almost had to wonder if his driving skills were taught by Ange or Chu Zihang; even in a dream, this total disregard for traffic laws was cut from the exact same cloth as the madmen of Kassel College.
Still, he was no longer that rookie who could only flounder about inside a car. He was now an elite who could ride a motorcycle across the rooftops of Rio de Janeiro. Speeding and racing were mere child's play to him; he could even stand his ground alone against high-threat targets instead of hiding and praying for rescue from the boss and the senior. The days of sitting in the passenger seat while someone else sped through traffic had long been buried deep in his memories, blurring by now, perhaps.
He only felt a sense of nostalgia.
Then the sound of tires scraping against the pavement rang out, and the sports car slowed to a halt.
Beside them was a riverside restaurant. Through the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, they could see that only one table had its lights on. No customers, no waiters.
"Looks like this is it," Lu Mingze stopped the car. "Have you ever regretted it, Brother? If you had accepted Chen Wenwen's love here back then, you would have returned to your old life. But you missed it."
Lu Mingfei didn't answer. Through the car window, he silently gazed at the restaurant. He had indeed come here before; pushed by Chu Zihang and arranged by Caesar, he had once booked the entire place to treat Chen Wenwen to a meal.
Drizzling rain tapped against the car window. It felt as though he had returned once more to that rainy summer night, accompanying the girl he once had a crush on to dinner at Aspasia, while the senior wielded blades and guns at the Yunde Plaza, slaying everything in his path.
He suddenly thought: if his past self had been wrapped in that golden, glittering armor like he was now, would he have needed the senior to bail him out at the pizza parlor gathering? He could have taken Chen Wenwen to Aspasia anytime he wanted, and he could have stormed Yunde Plaza alongside Chu Zihang to successfully complete the mission. The senior wouldn't have been dragged off to a disciplinary hearing, and maybe he could have teamed up with the senior to subdue the Dragon Queen, reforming her day after day, year after year. He refused to believe the Dragon Queen had no feelings for the senior at all... That would have been an awesomely badass life.
Yet that kind of awesomely badass life wasn't his; it was merely full of illusions.