There wasn't really anything to sort out. Putting other things aside, the biggest problem bothering me right now was the matter of joining the Young Pioneers, wasn't it! Weren't all the small problems infinitely magnified around this big one!
"To join, or not to join? Why? What are the reasons behind choosing either of these decisions?" Once this train of thought was straightened out, there would be no problem.
"Join, do I have the qualifications? Will it affect the speed of my studies in the future?"
"Don't join, why not join? The captain said they were targeting me for the selection of members this time. So if I disagree to join, what would be the consequences?"
But why were they targeting me? And they thought that as long as they extended an olive branch, I would actively join. This didn't make sense. Although the primary criterion for the Young Pioneers to select members was excellence, I hadn't actively shown my situation to anyone! So where did they get to know me from?
Thinking of that scene this afternoon, and the almost imperceptible smiles on the principal's and the captain's faces as they left the hall, I shivered. "Could it be Uncle?" This guess inexplicably appeared in my mind. If it were Uncle, then everything would make sense. Only those who knew me best would know some things about me that others didn't. Older brother didn't know my situation very well, but older brother was invited over this afternoon, which meant things weren't as simple as I thought.
Also, the principal and the captain wouldn't inexplicably invite junior high school students to a meeting. Even if they did invite someone, it shouldn't be my older brother, as there were many who were more outstanding than him. Yet he came. I remembered asking him this afternoon, and he said someone invited him. Since the matter was related to me and so targeted, the purpose could be imagined.
"It seems Uncle wants me to join the Young Pioneers, and actively so. Otherwise, why would he make things so complicated? His planning is too far-reaching," I grumbled. "He's not even home, yet he's planned so much for me. I'm very curious about his relationship with the principal. There aren't many people who can get the principal to personally intervene." This was a story for later, as I would indeed learn the reason behind it not long after.
Then, did I still need to think about it? Not at all. I had sorted it all out, so I felt no pressure. However, I couldn't easily reply to the captain. I had to play hard to get regarding joining the Young Pioneers. Otherwise, they would really think I didn't see anything.
I gave a wicked smile. Just then, older brother and Xiao Heng finished their chess game and walked not far from me. "Hey, did you see? Little Qīnglí was just smiling," Xiao Heng whispered to older brother.
"Brother, stop talking, cut it out!" Older brother looked as if he had seen a ghost. "Alas! I wonder who's going to get into trouble again."
"Let's go, home!" Home wasn't far from where we played, so the three of us strolled back. Xiao Heng's home was in the backyard of maternal grandfather's house, so it was on the way. As we walked, they chatted and laughed. I barely spoke, but I noticed Xiao Heng kept glancing at me.
A scene I would never forget!
(Forty-nine)
I hadn't noticed at first. I had just remembered something and wanted to stop them, but before I could speak, I noticed a pair of strange eyes watching me. Xiao Heng didn't expect to be discovered and instantly felt awkward. He quickly changed the subject, "What is it? Little Qīnglí, did you want to say something?"
"It's nothing, let's go home!" I actually chickened out.
We parted ways at the entrance to our homes and went each to our own. We still had school tomorrow, so it was time to go back and get ready for bed. Otherwise, I wouldn't wake up tomorrow, and I would be groggy in class. Older brother and I locked the main gate after entering the courtyard. Usually, maternal grandfather locked the door if no one went out. Today, we were diligent for a change.
As soon as we entered the house, older brother called out, "Grandpa, we've returned and have already locked the main gate. You don't need to go out again."
"Got it, grandson. You and Xiao Li, hurry back to your rooms and sleep!" Maternal grandfather exhorted us, his face full of relief.
I nodded and said nothing more. Older brother responded with an "Okay." Then we returned to our respective rooms. Of course, I wasn't like older brother, who could fall asleep as soon as he lay on his bed. Such precious time couldn't be wasted. I had to read for a while.
After reading for about half an hour, I started feeling sleepy. After lying down to rest, I quickly entered dreamland. For someone who rarely dreamed before, I surprisingly dreamt that I was quietly following the Young Pioneers to the Martyrs' Cemetery. However, in the dream, when they arrived, they simply stood there silently. They didn't go through the Young Pioneer initiation process as I had expected. It was as if time had frozen at that moment, and they couldn't see my presence at all.
At this moment, I looked up at the Martyrs' Cemetery in front of me. A solemn and sacred aura emanated, making one feel awestruck. This was my first impression. My eyes instantly welled up. Our current lives were exchanged for the spilled blood and sacrifice of so many revolutionary predecessors. If I were to question myself, did everyone truly cherish the current life?
As I watched, tears streamed down my face before I knew it. Compared to everyone lying here, I felt lucky. At least I was living in the present. Even though life had been full of hardships from the start, now I had the family and friends who loved me accompanying me, and a good environment for studying. What reason was there not to live well!
Suddenly, a scene appeared before me that I would never forget: young children, no longer reading and writing, bid farewell to their parents and loved ones and resolutely chose to join the army to defend the country. "Until the revolution succeeds and the war ends, we vow not to return home." All the youths leaving home shouted in unison. Yes, with such resolute determination and such patriotic and home-loving sentiment, how could one not be moved.
Just as I was about to step closer to look, I heard someone calling me, "Hurry up and get up, or you'll be late for school." I was abruptly pulled back to reality. My hazy eyes slowly opened. It turned out to be older brother calling me.
"Xiao Li, hurry up and get up. If you dawdle any longer, there won't be enough time." Older brother shook me, sounding anxious.
I looked up at the time. "Oh my god, how is it this late? Help!" I didn't dare to delay for a moment. I quickly got up, put on my clothes, washed up, ate, and then checked if I had forgotten anything in my schoolbag. In a flurry, I followed older brother out the door.
Why was older brother suddenly so long-winded?
(Fifty)
After we went out, older brother looked at me with a puzzled expression. As we walked, he asked, "Xiao Li, what's going on with you this morning? It took you so long to wake up. Did you stay up late?"
"No!" I answered instinctively.
"That shouldn't be. You're usually up earlier than me. Even if you're up later than me occasionally, I don't need to call you," older brother continued to ask.
"Maybe I was tired, or maybe I was dreaming."
"Dreaming? What did you dream about? When I called you, I noticed there were tears in the corners of your eyes," older brother said, worried.
"It's nothing. I don't remember it after waking up, but my head still feels a bit fuzzy," I replied perfunctorily.
"Really? Xiao Li, if you have anything on your mind, don't hide it from your older brother. You can tell me if something happens, and I can help you figure out a solution," older brother said earnestly.
"Got it, don't worry, brother. I'm fine. Hurry up and cross the road! Otherwise, you'll really be late," I said with feigned schadenfreude.
It wasn't far from home to school. Older brother had been asking me questions all the way, and we had actually arrived opposite his school. But he had too many questions, and I really didn't want to answer him anymore, so I urged him into the campus.
"Alright, you be careful. If I come out late during lunch break, you walk home slowly too," older brother said, giving me a glance before entering the campus.
"Mhm, I'm going too, or I'll be late too." So I turned and walked forward. The elementary school was diagonally opposite the middle school, so I quickly entered the campus too.
Breathing the familiar air in a familiar environment, I walked forward with my head held high and chest out. Looking at the students of different grades coming and going, I felt exceptionally relaxed. I didn't know when it started, but I had actually grown to like this campus. The wall of my heart, built with small cement blocks, was slowly crumbling due to the people and things around me.
I walked across the playground, past the flower bed, and arrived at my class on the far side (Class Three, Grade Two). Looking at the classroom that had only been moved here a few days ago, and then looking at my old classroom from afar, my thoughts drifted inexplicably. "So I'm not the youngest student anymore, hahaha."
Then I walked into the classroom and saw that more than half of the students who had arrived were quietly studying. I also quietly walked to my seat, put down my schoolbag, and began to imitate them.
A few students in our class who always arrived at the last minute hadn't arrived yet, but today the teacher entered the classroom before them. After entering, the teacher didn't say anything and quietly read the textbook at the lecturer's desk.
The punctually challenged students who arrived at the last minute were terrified when they saw the teacher, but they still had to steel themselves and come in. So, as each one entered, they greeted the teacher, "Hello, teacher!" The teacher looked up, nodded. The students in their seats started to snicker. When almost everyone had arrived, the bell for the end of self-study rang. In an orderly fashion, they left the classroom to go to the restroom, stretch, and move their muscles.
Xiao Fei asked me, "Qīnglí, why are you so late today?"
"Yeah, you're usually earlier than us. By the time I arrived, you still weren't here. This is out of the ordinary today," said Qíqí.
Xiao Kuò and Yuán Yuán also agreed.
"I was waiting at the gate of my brother's school for a while. He had something to tell me, so I was late. However, compared to those who arrived at the last minute, I was still early enough." After saying that, I laughed heartily.
After hearing me, they couldn't help but burst into laughter.
A mysterious identity that doesn't seek to be noticed
(Fifty-one)
"Qīnglí, you're really poking at people's sore spots!" Xiao Tiān, who had just arrived at the last minute, happened to overhear.
"Um, sorry, I couldn't help it. By the way, your home isn't far away. Why do you always arrive at the last minute?" I grumbled.
"Exactly, exactly! Xiao Tiān, Qīnglí is right. If you walk by the river often, you're bound to get your shoes wet. Sooner or later, you'll get caught, just like today. Can't you come earlier from now on?" said Qíqí, the class monitor.
"You're the sports representative, and a class cadre to boot. Arriving at the last minute every day, is that appropriate?" Xiao Kuò, another class monitor, said indignantly.
"Tsk tsk tsk, you're really embarrassing us," said Xiao Fei, the labor commissioner.
"Exactly, we can't afford to lose face like this," said Yuán Yuán, the cultural and recreational commissioner.
"Xiao Tiān, I won't mark you down this time. Be more mindful next time, okay?" Hán Hán, the usually cool disciplinary committee member, spoke up.
Xiao Tiān instantly deflated. The people scolding him were all top students and class cadres. He didn't dare to retort. To be precise, he was in the wrong, and he didn't dare to say anything more.
"It was just a joke. Don't be so serious. From now on, come earlier, and just don't be late. Today, we were laughing at those who arrived late, but can't you guys at least try harder?" I felt a sense of disappointment that they weren't living up to their potential.
"Okay, okay, whatever you say, Mr./Ms. Study Committee Member. Please be lenient. I was wrong, I'll change."
"Hahaha, hahaha, hahaha..." The laughter continued until the bell rang for the official start of class, and then it abruptly stopped.
I am that mysterious study committee member who doesn't seek to be noticed. I was quietly elected as a class cadre by them a long time ago. Since I was rarely needed, my position as study committee member was almost in a semi-invisible state. If it weren't for Xiao Tiān, the sports representative, not setting a good example today and causing all the class cadres to speak up, my identity wouldn't have been revealed.
Back in the classroom, class began, following the normal routine. Most of the content being taught was something I had already learned. However, I still had to learn it again. After all, reviewing the old helps one learn the new, which would solidify my impression and be beneficial for future exams.
The average class period is forty minutes. There are about eight classes a day. The last class is usually self-study unless there's a special arrangement. Only on Wednesdays do they have six classes and finish early. So, everyone has long since formed a habit: seriousness during class, and fun during breaks. Even a short ten-minute break isn't long enough to stop a game.
In the past, I would never have had a break between classes because I couldn't put my books down. But now, I had actually integrated into this small group with them, playing, having fun, and studying together. This feeling was marvelous, even making me feel unreal at times, but the source of joy flowing through my body had undeniably increased.
Soon, the four classes in the morning ended. It was time for lunch break and to go home for a meal. Xiao Fei and Qíqí were on the way with me, so they walked with me. Earlier, older brother had said that if he wasn't out on time at noon, I should go home first and not wait for him. So I didn't go towards the middle school section and took the shortcut home.
It only took me about six minutes to get home and start eating. Then I saw older brother rushing back. He ate very quickly, almost catching up to me. After hastily finishing eating, he took a sip of water to calm himself, called me, and then we turned and headed towards the school.
Cold, domineering, yet warm-hearted Hán Hán
(Fifty-two)
We went in a hurry and didn't say much. Near the school, we parted ways again. Older brother was very pressed for time at noon today and didn't instruct me on anything before entering the campus. Perhaps he was really busy!
And I quickly walked towards my campus, and then towards my class. Besides a few who went home for lunch, others lived too far away to go home at noon. They bought food near the school with the money they had, eating whatever they could find, not too full, not too hungry. Because they had to walk home in groups after school, and the journey was much longer than ours who lived nearby, they also walked to school together in the morning. So, the hardships and childhood joys of that time are something children today cannot experience.
I saw these classmates who couldn't go home for lunch were already playing outside the classroom for a while. Seeing me walk over, they called me to join them. I shook my head, "You guys play. I'll rest for a bit. My stomach feels uncomfortable from eating too fast today."
"What's wrong? Is it serious? Should we go to the infirmary?" Xiao Kuò asked.
"No, no, I'm fine. I'll just sit in the classroom for a while," I replied quickly, afraid they would send me to the infirmary.
"Alright then, but if you feel unwell, you must tell us. We'll go get you a leave of absence. Don't try to tough it out," Yuán Yuán said with concern.
I nodded and went back to the classroom without paying them any more attention. When I sat down at my seat, I found a cup of hot water on my desk that seemed to have been placed there just recently. It was still steaming!
"Aren't they all outside? Where did this come from?" I couldn't hide the doubt in my eyes, "???"
"What, am I not human?" Hán Hán said irritably.
"When did you come in? Did you pour this water?" I continued to ask.
"Could it be that you poured it? Qīnglí, are you okay? How can you feel unwell after eating? You can't even take care of yourself. You really don't make anyone worry less," Hán Hán grumbled.
"You're so noble, you're the only one who knows how to talk, and now you're lecturing me. Annoying ice-faced guy." Then I made a face at Hán Hán.
"Childish," Hán Hán said aloofly.
"I like it," I said playfully, provoking him.
"Boring," Hán Hán said impatiently.
"Thank you." I was genuinely grateful to Hán Hán. Although he didn't speak much and was usually very cool, his current concern for me was sincere. I could feel it.
"Heh." Hán Hán heard my complete reversal and even offered thanks. He seemed a bit embarrassed. At this moment, his face was slightly flushed, but he still said proudly, "Alright, you... cool it before you drink, don't burn yourself."
I nodded with an "Mhm." I stopped looking at him. I realized Hán Hán couldn't be provoked easily. The main thing was that this guy, who usually looked cool and aloof, was actually quite cunning. If I pushed it too far, I might be the one in trouble.
After drinking more than half a cup of hot water, I felt much better. After resting for a few more minutes, the lunch break ended, and classes resumed. Today was Wednesday, and there were only two more classes before school ended. "Oh yeah!" Yuán Yuán exclaimed excitedly.
And I instantly remembered that the day after tomorrow, Friday, was the day to visit the Martyrs' Cemetery, and also the annual Young Pioneers' admission ceremony. Therefore, I had to give my answer to the captain tomorrow. She had given me three days to consider. Tomorrow was the last day. No one had disturbed me during this period, so I should feel lucky.
Geometry? Functions? Which teacher is this excessive?
(Fifty-four)
After hearing his words, I felt I might have been making a fuss over nothing. So I told him, "Actually, I'm not really angry. I just think you could try to work hard yourself. What if you break through your limits?"
"I know my own capabilities," older brother shook his head.
"Alas! How about this? I can help you write your homework. But after I've written it, you have to go through each problem yourself. Mark the ones you don't understand, and we'll study them together." I compromised.
"Really?" older brother asked uncertainly.
"Mhm. Even if you're not academically gifted, you should at least appear to be diligent and eager to learn. At least if you've made an effort yourself, even if you haven't succeeded, you won't regret your effort!" I told him sincerely.
"Alright then, I'll do my best! Thank you, Xiao Li." Saying that, he handed me two test papers. "Then here are these two for you. I'll do the rest myself."
When I took them, I was shocked. First-year junior high geometry and functions. I instantly felt unwell. This was clearly making my brain hurt! "My heavens, how can a question be this difficult? I haven't even learned first-year junior high curriculum yet! This is a sin, digging my own grave!" I didn't dare let older brother discover my predicament and continued to look at them seriously.
"Damn it, are these questions this difficult? I haven't even learned the first-year junior high curriculum yet! This is torture, it's like digging a hole and burying myself!" I was speechless, but I still looked up and asked older brother to get me the geometry and function books. It seemed I had to learn them first.
"Brother, can I ask where you are in your textbooks now? I need to study first before I can help you with this test paper," I said dejectedly.
He briefly told me the specific chapter. Seeing my state, he asked, "Xiao Li, what's wrong?"
"I haven't reached the first-year junior high curriculum yet, so I have to learn it on the fly." I said awkwardly.
"Oh, then you study first. If not, I'll write it myself later. We've only just started learning this since the beginning of the semester, and I find it quite difficult!" older brother told me earnestly.