The Empress yanked my hand away from the girl in pink with a hint of jealousy, saying, "Your Majesty, what is all this nonsense about a 'Siming'? You must be out of your mind! She is your Consort Li."
Judging by the Empress's tone, it was blatantly obvious that this Consort Li was some kind of little vixen!
I had just woken up, and already I had to watch a palace drama?
Thinking back to "The Legend of Imperial Noble Consort Xi," which I binged in my past life, that truly got one's blood pumping!
However, this wasn't the time to be watching palace drama; I needed to figure out whether this cross-dressing "bigwig" was actually that damn Star Lord Siming who refused to give me the Soup of Forgetfulness...
I looked at the girl in pink in disbelief, pulled her out from behind the Empress, and looked her up and down.
She was way too short!
She was probably only around 160 centimeters tall, barely reaching my chest, let alone my shoulders.
No, this couldn't be Star Lord Siming. Star Lord Siming wasn't this short!
Still, I refused to give up. I leaned in close to her ear and asked in a low voice, "Are you really not Siming?"
The girl in pink shook her head shyly and said, "Oh! Your Majesty, this concubine is really not any 'Siming'. This concubine is your most beloved Consort Li!"
"Ah!"
I was a bit disappointed, thinking I'd run into an old acquaintance. But then, it seemed I had discovered something extraordinary.
My legs, my height, good grief... how on earth was I this tall?
"Someone come quick, give me..."
No, wait. Now that I was an emperor, shouldn't I refer to myself as "Zhen" or perhaps "Gu"?
"Zhen" sounded much better than "Gu".
The moment you heard "Gu," it just gave off a bad vibe — the solitary and abandoned ruler?
I certainly didn't want to be a solitary ruler.
Whatever...
Anyway, in this world, I was the emperor, and I called the shots.
So I'd refer to myself as "Zhen" for now!
"Bring me a mirror!"
As soon as those words left my mouth, I instantly felt a supreme, commanding aura. It felt fantastic!
The Empress asked in bewilderment, "Your Majesty, what do you want with a mirror? You've always detested looking in mirrors! What has gotten into you today?"
The Empress certainly asked a lot of questions. Judging by the jealous look she had just given, she probably wasn't very favored by the emperor in this inner court!
Her looks were quite decent, though, and her skin was fantastic—she just came across a bit aloof and cold.
I didn't feel like answering her. After all, I was now the top leader of this country.
Instead, that Eunuch Gui walked up to the Empress and whispered, "Empress, this old slave just reminded you. Have you forgotten already?"
The Empress seemed to remember something, quickly covering her mouth as she stammered, "Head Eunuch Gui is right to reprimand me."
Before long, a few junior eunuchs carried in a massive mirror over two meters tall, and I eagerly strode up to it.
You wouldn't believe it until you saw it, and seeing it gave me a fright!
My legs...
Were actually this long! They had to be at least a meter nine!
What kind of Longxia State emperor had I been reincarnated as, anyway?
Was I reincarnated into the Qin State of the Warring States period instead?
Could I be Ying Zheng?
Well, different dynasties aside, at least I wasn't born in the Warring States period.
Otherwise, any random state like Zhao or Qi would have utterly crushed and slaughtered this Longxia State of mine.
"Tsk tsk tsk... Not bad, quite a handsome mug. The guy in the mirror is tall and sturdy, and best of all, he's got those sword-like brows, starry eyes, and a slightly roguish, devilish face..."
Oh wow!
This was the handsomest man I had laid eyes on in all my thirty years of living. I was utterly falling in love with myself.
No, wait—now I should be falling in love with this body of mine. No, wait, I was droving over this masculine physique of mine!
"Your Majesty, what are you looking at?"
Consort Li, wearing that face of Siming and dressed in pink, sidled up to me coquettishly. Her body softened as she slumped right into my arms, blinking her massive, cartoonish eyes at me.
As a woman's instinct, my first reaction was still to push her away.
After all, in my past life, I was no lesbian!
However, the moment my big hands touched that soft, marshmallow-like frame, they practically glued themselves to Consort Li and refused to come off.
Who would have thought that Consort Li, wearing Siming's face, was actually such a green-tea-sipping, soft-and-cute flirt?
"Consort Li, what are you doing? There are so many people here, you..."
It was the tall Empress who spoke again. The tone and the posture made it clear she was jealous once more.
Who would have thought that such a cold, ice-queen beauty could be so prone to jealousy?
Just as I was about to push Consort Li away, the crowd of vibrantly dressed beauties who had previously swarmed around the bed rushed forward and directly engulfed me. The hands of these beauties roamed back and forth across my body, making me shiver involuntarily. Oh lord! Just imagining having to spend every single night like this... I couldn't even bear to think about it!
I shot a cry for help toward the "jealous jar" of an Empress, signaling wildly with my eyes for her to save me.
The Empress really was an absolute jealousy pot. Upon catching my plea for help, she completely threw aside her imperial dignity as Empress.
She marched over in a rage and tore those women clinging to me away one by one.
After finally managing to peel away all those pretty vases, she was panting heavily. Fearing they would latch onto me again, she simply let out a furious roar: "Enough! Have you lot made enough of a scene?"
"Your Majesty has only just woken up, and you all couldn't even wait this long?"
She pointed a delicate finger straight at Consort Li, who was still draped over my body.
She said, "And you, Consort Li, His Majesty fell unconscious precisely because he was saving you from falling into the water. Knowing full well that His Majesty can't swim, why did you insist on dragging him to the waterside to play?"
"Are you only happy when you manage to get His Majesty killed?"
Oh!
So I had drowned because I was trying to save this little green tea!
They always say men love green tea, and that saying really wasn't wrong at all...
Seeing the Empress show her no respect and scold her in front of so many people, Consort Li blinked her cartoonish eyes once more and looked at me with an innocent expression.
I...
I could feel how truly despicable I was being at this moment!
"Empress, well... that little gre—"
"Little pink... no, Consort Li already knows she was wrong. Just find it in your magnanimous heart to forgive her! Besides, aren't I still alive and kicking?"
My heart was way too soft, and the little green tea just leaned right against me like that.
It reminded me of those scumbags I met in the modern world during my past life—whenever they cried, I'd give them money, only to end up being scammed out of every penny by multiple scumbags.
And when I finally managed to catch a boyfriend who looked great, treated me well, was stable, and actually loved me, he died young!
Men really are vile creatures. But then again, wasn't I a man now too?
And a playboy emperor at that...
The Empress looked genuinely furious now, aggrieved tears swirling in her eyes.
Geez, regardless of whether I was a woman in my past life or a man in this one, the one thing I could never handle was a woman crying.
I quickly pushed the little green tea out of my arms. Strangely enough, this time there was no clinging sensation.
I walked over to the Empress, who was stubbornly turning her face away to keep her tears from falling. Before I could even figure out what to say, Eunuch Gui tactfully ushered all the concubines out. That old fox even closed the door behind them...
In broad daylight like this, I... I couldn't really do anything, could I?
Besides, my brain was still wired as a woman!
Mimicking the overbearing CEOs from television dramas, I gently pulled the still-tearful Empress into my arms.
And murmured softly to comfort her, "There, there, Empress. Zhen knows you only did it for my own good."