Mùróng Zhuó's expression darkened. "Your Majesty, do you mean to declare war on the Yueshi Kingdom?"
"Declare war? Of course we're going to fight them! Those barbarians actually took advantage of me being unconscious to violate our borders. Where is the code of the martial world in that?"
"Flesh and blood can bear this, but how can Confucius and Laozi bear this?" I said through clenched teeth.
"However, Your Majesty, have you forgotten that you just reviewed the memorial regarding the flood?" Mùróng Zhuó asked, his brow furrowed as he reminded me.
Oh! It seemed I *had* indeed reviewed a memorial about a flood. The situation was looking grim. Judging by Mùróng Zhuó's words, was the money in the imperial treasury only enough to support the victims of the natural disaster?
Good grief, just how pathetic was this Longxia State I had inherited? We didn't even have the money to fight a war? Not only was I an utterly spineless emperor, but I was also this completely useless. A wave of spontaneous powerlessness washed over me like a tide, and I asked despondently, "Prime Minister, is there hardly any money left in the treasury?"
The answer I received was affirmative; he nodded powerlessly.
"What? The country doesn't even have this little money? What on earth is going on with the imperial treasury?" I was so shocked I could barely string my words together, standing there completely dazed and unable to believe what I was hearing. It was simply baffling that a nation's treasury only had enough money for a single purpose. What would happen to my people then? If I declared war on the Yueshi Kingdom, how would my subjects suffering from the natural disaster survive?
My mind kept replaying a page I had seen in history books from my past life—an immensely shocking page. In 1938, the Yellow River Huayuankou dykes were breached, drowning over 800,000 commoners and leaving millions of disaster victims wailing across the land. How could mere words capture such an "unspeakable tragedy"?! My heart felt as though it had been struck by a heavy hammer, as if it were about to be shattered to pieces.
Yet what of my subjects on the border, currently harassed by the Yueshi tribes? If I saved the disaster victims, I couldn't save the people on the border... Every part of the palm and the back of the hand is flesh!
Heavens! What kind of country have you bestowed upon me? Plunged into deep waters and trampled by endless disasters... How am I supposed to save my Longxia State, and how am I supposed to save my people?
Little Green Tea, who had been quietly listening to Mùróng Zhuó and me the entire time, took advantage of a pause in our conversation. Moving with dainty steps, she slowly walked up to my side. A friendly and gentle smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she said coquettishly, "Your Majesty, are you fretting over money again?"
I had no leisure to deal with her right now, so I rudely pushed her away, even though I felt a twinge of guilt for hurting a young girl's self-esteem. But damn it, who cared about the self-esteem of an emperor like me? Those Yueshi barbarians were bullying their way onto my very head—damn it, I wanted to curse again...
Little Green Tea wasn't angry at being pushed away. She stepped forward once more, wrapping her delicate arms around my neck. Her height was truly somewhat lacking; she actually had to stand on tiptoe just to clasp my neck. "Don't be angry, Your Majesty! Isn't it just money? Anything that can be solved with money isn't a problem at all!"
How could this young girl speak with such boldness? I looked at her in bewilderment, my tone softening considerably. "My beloved consort, you... can you resolve this matter?"
Little Green Tea nodded with absolute certainty. "Of course! Just because I am poor doesn't mean my father is poor, right?"
"Your father?" How on earth was I supposed to make sense of this?
"Your Majesty, have you forgotten? It was precisely because my father offered a precious treasure that you took me into the palace! My father is the richest man in Longxia State, and also the largest grain supplier in the entire country!" As she said this, her innocent face held a mixture of half-sorrow and half-pride.
Good grief! You truly can't judge a person by their cover, just as you can't measure the sea with a pint pot! This Little Green Tea, who usually acted so weak and boneless, turned out to be a wealthy young lady—no, she was a hidden gold mine! My father-in-law, of whom I had no recollection whatsoever, was the richest man in the country? The richest man?! At this thought, I didn't know where to put my hands in my excitement!
My vulgar, grubby hands actually reached out to rest on Little Green Tea's slender waist. This—this was utterly shameless! Yet Little Green Tea seemed to relish this treatment. She said sweetly, "Your Majesty, wherever you want to strike, if the funds fall short, just say the word to your concubine. I'll go home and ask my father for them, and I guarantee Your Majesty won't have to worry about money anymore."
Oh mother! Dear heavens above... Poor, useless me actually managed to latch onto a golden thigh. No wonder Yún Zhāo had favored this Little Green Tea so much in the past. I knew it! There's no such thing as groundless favoritism of a concubine over a wife. With a thigh this wealthy, if I were in his shoes, I'd cling to it for dear life too!
With the money problem solved, I looked excitedly at Mùróng Zhuó. Yet as he looked at Consort Li and me embracing, his expression was thoroughly unsightly!
The biggest problem had been solved, so why was he still unhappy? Whatever, who cares about him! Right now, I needed to quickly sweet-talk Little Green Tea—no, I had to call her "ancestor" now. My wealthy and charming "little ancestor." I needed to hurry and get her father to wire the money straight into the imperial treasury, because money that hadn't yet entered my coin purse could only be counted as "accounts receivable"... Daddy needs to collect!
I lowered my head and gave Consort Li's cheek a cheap, light peck. Wow, Little Green Tea's cheek had quite a bouncy spring to it! As expected of something piled up with cash. "My beloved consort! My most beloved, dearest consort! Can you have my dear father-in-law wire the money into my account tomorrow—no, right this instant..."
"No, wait, wire it to the company acco—" Bah, why did the more excited I got, the more I slipped up? "Wire it into my imperial treasury!" I didn't forget to take her delicate hands in mine, staring deep into her eyes with a gaze full of melting affection. By this point, I figured I could probably disgust people to death; I felt greasy beyond belief!
Yet this trick of mine worked wonders on Little Green Tea. She batted those soul-stealing eyes of hers and smiled, saying, "Your Majesty, you are your concubine's heaven, so of course your concubine obeys you. It's just that in the middle of the night like this, if your concubine goes home to ask for money, my father and mother probably haven't even woken up yet!"
"It doesn't matter, my love can head back at dawn. But that father-in-law of mine must get the money into my account as soon as possible!"
"Into my imperial treasury, my tongue slipped a bit." I flurriedly explained.
Little Green Tea stood on tiptoe, striving to press her soft, dough-like cheek—built entirely of bank notes—close to my mouth. Ugh, ugh... Fine! For the sake of my subjects, my commoners, and my dignity. Close my eyes... and a quick, dragonfly-upon-the-water peck would have to do! As I finished, I didn't forget to remind her, "My love, hurry up and pack your things. Leave as soon as day breaks, this needs to be fast!" Well, obviously! If I had a billionaire father, I wouldn't wait until dawn for money; I reckoned by now I'd have grown phantom wings, crawling on all fours just to fly straight to the wealthy benefactor's house.
Little Green Tea was quite straightforward. "Alright, Your Majesty, rest assured. Your concubine will head back to her own palace to pack right now, and as soon as dawn breaks, I'll go home to ask for the money."
"Mhm, my love is such a good girl, I simply adore you to death." This is killing me, yue... In my heart, I had disgusted myself into throwing up at least eight hundred times over. Other people become emperors to rule the world, but my version of being an emperor meant selling my body to the harem!