Chapter 32

—Apartment— John Fredrikson said in his book, *What Are You Running From?*— The root of human self-deception lies in the inability to bear immense pain. Chu Zhao thought, for the past nineteen years, she had actually been living in a world of self-deception. She lied to herself, telling herself that her parents and brothers loved her. She convinced herself that sending her away from the Chu family to be raised elsewhere was a helpless choice forced by her mother’s illness. Because they loved her and missed her, that was why—even though her mother’s illness hadn't fully recovered—they still brought her back to the Chu family after she was caught up in the kidnapping case. They were cold to her because they hadn't grown up together, so it was only natural to be distant. They were dissatisfied with her because she was clumsy and dull, always failing to satisfy everyone. It was her fault for not being good enough. It was her fault for not being outstanding. It was her fault for never learning how to be likable. Everything was her fault. If only she offered more sincerity, worked harder, and added more persistence and determination—they would see her worth. They would love her. *