— July 25, Scorching Summer —
[I am reading "Why Families Hurt." The book says—]
[A mother is a baby’s mirror.]
[We exist because we are gazed upon. Through the mother’s long, lingering gaze, an infant perceives its own existence in that first mirror called "Mother."]
[Has a mother ever gazed upon me for long?]
[Has this mirror, my mother, ever opened for me?]
[I ask this in my heart, knowing the answer is destined to be "no," and I feel a pang of regret.]
[If I could turn back time, I would go back to the past to embrace that unwatched child.]
[I would tell her: "It’s all right. This is not your fault."]
[Even though I have grown into a whole adult, that mirror never once opened for me.]
[So please, don’t be sad. I am so much older than you, yet I have fared far worse.]
[Little Chu Zhao, you are already strong and brave enough.]
[If I could ever meet "myself," I would surely tell "me" these things.]
— The Old Mansion —
Chapter 53