Skipping ads requires VIP, watching shows requires VIP, and watching premieres requires SVIP. The human heart is truly vicious, goddamn it.
Sometimes the netherworld is better than the mortal realm—at least there isn't this much scheming.
No wonder the television market is doing poorly nowadays; look at the absolute mess you've turned things into.
How is my grandma, who only knows how to change channels, supposed to figure this out? There's no way she can.
Xu Shuangning was somewhat surprised to hear this guy go on and on with his complaints. Only when she asked did she find out that he had long been a victim of this scourge.
Li Daonian said that during summer break, his grandma would often pull him over to search for TV shows because she didn't know how to search on her own, so watching dramas was a one-time deal.
This time she'd find episode three, but next time she wouldn't be able to find the show again, so she'd have to switch to a new one. Once she found a new one, she could watch three episodes, and then lose it again.
The ideal scenario was reaching episode tenth, and then it would demand VIP, forcing her to switch to another TV show.
Li Daonian also found it incredible: his grandma was a seasoned veteran at catching ghosts and subduing demons, and handling tricky situations came as second nature to her, yet after living over seventy years, she was defeated by the smart era.
Only when he came home for summer break could his grandparents watch a complete TV show. If it were him, he would have smashed the television long ago. Besides, having a story cut off in the middle without an ending always left an itchy feeling in his heart—in this regard, he didn't measure up to the two old folks.
His grandma had once said something very philosophical: "I've seen plenty of stories in my lifetime. The ones those ghosts told me in person were sometimes more exciting than what's on TV. Once you've caught enough ghosts, you'll understand that you're destined never to see the ending of certain stories."
Profound, truly fucking profound. Li Daonian felt that his grandma's remark deserved to be used as promotional copy for a movie or a novel, the kind printed on posters and book covers—it would radiate absolute aura.
As for catching ghosts, he didn't think about it that much; he just treated it as a small livelihood.
"All the free movies are garbage," Li Daonian said, holding the remote.
"Put on that *Blue Planet*, the documentary. It's free," Xu Shuangning said.
Once the documentary started playing, the two of them put down their phones for a rare moment.
Of course, they weren't paying rapt attention either. After watching penguins wag their big booties for a little while, Li Daonian started asking:
"What's the deal with those award certificates in your room?"
Xu Shuangning was twirling a strand of hair with her right hand, watching intently, and got a bit dazed when she was suddenly interrupted.
Her thoughts abruptly bounced from Antarctica back to the award certificates. She frowned, thought about it, and said:
"There were a few certificates before, but they had all been torn. Seeing that they weren't torn clean, I tried tearing them some more, but the adhesive was too strong and they wouldn't come off."
"Do you know who they were awarded to?"
"No idea. The parts with writing on them were long gone—it was just the edges."
"Didn't you ask the landlord who used to live here?"
"Didn't ask."
"Next time you rent a place, you must definitely ask. There's an eighty or ninety percent chance this room is a haunted house, which is why it was so cheap."
Xu Shuangning nodded meekly.
"Though you don't need to worry about it this time. After I catch the ghost for you, don't mention it to the landlord. He probably knows there's something off about this room, which is why he rented it out cheap. If he finds out the ghost is gone, he might raise your rent."
"You keep saying 'ghost, ghost'—it's making me too scared to live here," Xu Shuangning said with a fearful smile.
"What are you panicking for? Only a fool passes up a cheap deal. Once I clean things up for you today, you can live here with peace of mind."
"Mhm..." Xu Shuangning let out a nasal hum.
After a brief silence, the two of them stared at the wild bulls mating on the television, and a sudden awkwardness descended upon them.
"How much do you want?" she finally asked.
Li Daonian felt a weight lift from his chest. He had keenly sensed earlier that the topic of payment was coming up, except that both of them had been hoping the other would bring it up first.
The crux of the matter was that after these two days, they had grown somewhat familiar with each other. If it had been their first meeting, he certainly would have blurted it out right away, but now that this young woman had cooked for him and washed the dishes, it wasn't so easy to open his mouth.
It was just like a friend borrowing money from you: wanting them to pay it back is only natural and right, but you're still afraid that speaking up will hurt the relationship.
Damn it!
Li Daonian suddenly realized that he had turned into an indecisive idiot.
It seemed that a year of catching ghosts—of dealing with people and spirits alike—had made him pay more attention to social etiquette and human sentiments, while also making him more perceptive.
Since she had asked, however, he might as well say it straightforwardly:
"Eight hundred."
He actually hoped she would bargain a bit; after all, what he originally had in mind was six hundred, and those extra two hundred were meant as room for negotiation.
Who would have thought that Xu Shuangning would smile and agree right away:
"Okay."
Damn! It seemed the girl had been overthinking things too. Li Daonian smiled inwardly; she probably felt they were too familiar now and felt too embarrassed to haggle.
Forget it, no need to say any more and make things feel distant. Eight hundred is eight hundred, as long as the job gets done right.
After marveling at the wonders of nature for two hours, the time reached half past eleven.
Xu Shuangning was dozing off, her body curled up on the sofa, looking completely wilted.
Sensing that Li Daonian was looking at her, she gave a little shake to perk herself up.
"Go get some sleep," he said.
Xu Shuangning shook her head. She didn't know when the TV had been turned off, but a quilt had also been draped over her.
"Aren't we going to catch the ghost?" she mumbled groggily.
"That's right. Go to the bedroom—the ghost is in the bedroom."
"I definitely won't be able to fall asleep."
"Crap! Look how soundly you were sleeping." Li Daonian said, "Just head straight into the bedroom and sleep normally. I'll keep watch right outside, and as soon as any crying starts, just call me."
"Fine then," Xu Shuangning murmured without much thought.
She was simply too exhausted. She had spent a week rehearsing dances for the freshman welcome party, attended classes all day today, and hadn't slept well in a long time—she really had no strength left.
"You stay in the living room for a bit while I put on my pajamas. You can come in later."
Five minutes later, Li Daonian walked in carrying his bag.
The time had finally reached chapter one.
Although Xu Shuangning had been sleepy, the moment she got into bed, the thought of a guy sitting nearby and potentially running into a ghost shortly kept her from falling asleep.
From her sideways glances, she couldn't help observing that it seemed he had been watching her the whole time.
Crucially, he had turned off the light and lit four candles on the table. They burned with crackling sounds, casting eerie flames and flickering shadows, which inevitably made her imagination run wild.
Seeing her shy and frightened appearance, Li Daonian naturally found it amusing and felt the urge to tease the girl.
Every now and then, she would stretch out her arms and legs, then pull them back in, tossing and turning unable to sleep.
So he started talking to her, discussing Van Gogh's paintings. Xu Shuangning said she hung the painting to cover the ugly award certificates on the wall, and Li Daonian said it looked awful.
Xu Shuangning then discussed art with him. After chatting for a bit, one could clearly sense her tone becoming much more relaxed.
Li Daonian was doing this on purpose: making small talk to put the customer at ease, without making any abnormal moves that might alert the ghost and provoke unpredictable actions. The best approach was to act just like usual.
Sleep when it's time to sleep, let the ghost haunt when it's time to haunt.
Actually, he had plenty of other tricks up his sleeve, all designed to calm the client's nerves. Besides, those four candles on the table also had a specific rationale behind them.
Their purpose was that they served absolutely no goddamn use.
Lighting candles was meant to make the client feel like things looked authentic, making himself appear very capable and full of certainty about catching the ghost, thus putting their minds at ease. At the same time, it made them feel that their money was well spent, as they could visibly see the cost of ghost-catching burning away.
After another half-hour of idle chatting and swapping out a fresh batch of candles, the time reached half past twelve, and Xu Shuangning's words grew fewer and fewer until she stopped making a sound altogether.
She had fallen asleep.
Li Daonian suddenly remembered—goddamn it—that he hadn't asked the dorm auntie for leave. After giving his roommates a few quick instructions, he focused all his attention.
Ten minutes later, Xu Shuangning was sleeping soundly, making not a peep.
He went back to playing Hearthstone.