I arrived in the Underworld, where the Underworld Emperor looked at me with a face full of exasperation. I had just been sent away yesterday, and here I was, sent back again. He couldn't keep me locked up, yet sending me off to be reincarnated was a waste of resources—I had simply too much to offer.
There was no other choice; he decided to send me out for some "further education." Since I wouldn't read the materials on how to acquire a Golden Finger, I would have to learn through hands-on experience.
This time, the Underworld Emperor had grown clever. He actually recruited my former boss to supervise my studies. I was to learn everything from steel smelting to power generation—anything and everything, really. By the time I finished, fifty years would have long since passed. He immediately gave himself a mental pat on the back.
I had no choice; one cannot fight the inevitable. Reluctantly, I set off to learn. It’s impossible to get anything done with a big boss hovering over you.
I casually asked him, "Hey, why haven't you gone to be reincarnated yet?"
He replied, "I’m in no rush. I’m doing some work down here, accumulating Merit so that I can be reborn into a good family in my next life."
I thought to myself, *as expected of a boss; that brain of his is so sharp.* If you get well-connected down here, you're guaranteed a wealthy life in your next reincarnation. Maybe he’ll even be a boss again in the next life.
The boss looked at me with a complex expression and gave a slight smile. I had wanted to say that I also wanted to go to work, but the words died in my throat. I probably wouldn't get the chance; I’d already been kicked out twice.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. He suggested teaching me how to farm, but I told him I’d known how to do that since I was in the womb. No need to learn that.
Then he told me to learn about electricity. I said that sounded great; I’d even dismantled an electric motor before, though I truly didn't know how electricity was generated. He asked where I wanted to learn, and I insisted on the best: "Take me to the place with the biggest power station, and I’ll learn there." The boss immediately brought me to the Three Gorges Dam. My enthusiasm for learning was off the charts! I rushed inside, looking here and there, inspecting the entire power station. I felt like I’d learned everything, but then again, maybe I hadn't learned anything at all. No matter—with my brilliant mind, generating electricity should be a piece of cake.
The boss asked how my studies were going. I said, "I've been watching for a few days, I feel like I've got the hang of it."
"You learned that fast?" he asked.
"Pretty much," I replied.
"Are you sure?"
I said, a bit uncertainly, "I think I've got it? I've seen it all, every bit of it, I just don't quite understand the principles behind it."
The boss’s face turned black instantly. "Good grief! You watched it and now you know it? What about the process? The principles? Well?"
I admitted I hadn't quite grasped those yet. The boss told me to stay there, study hard, and think it through, and only to come back to him once I’d figured it out.
Seeing the boss’s sour expression, I dared not protest. Once he left, I looked and thought, and eventually grew bored. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in my head: if these "little fairies" in China wouldn't let me watch, why not go abroad?
Action followed thought. I immediately began to drift outward. Once outside, I found the sun was brilliant and the air was fresh—even though I couldn't actually feel anything, my mood was inexplicably good.
I had never traveled abroad before. I drifted along, humming a little tune, but it grew hotter the further I went. Africa was just as they said—much, much hotter than back home. Walking for a while, I grew too hot and decided to find a spot to lie down. I found some shade and rested.
The moment I opened my eyes, I saw my boss. "Why are you wandering around aimlessly? That’s not our territory. If you didn't have Merit on your person, you would have vanished into thin air long ago. I lost half my own Merit just to drag you back!" The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. He wanted to beat me up, but seeing my half-dead state, he suppressed the urge and ordered me to study hard and stop running around.
I’m a person who listens to advice. If he said don’t go there, I wouldn't.
I asked, "That place isn't under our jurisdiction? Doesn't it have Jesus and God? Don't they protect us?"
My boss looked at me with a long, drawn-out gaze. "Do you believe in them?"
I blurted out, "I don't believe in anyone, I only believe in myself!" Realizing that sounded wrong, I immediately added, "I mean, I only believe in our ancestors!" My survival instinct was in full force.
The boss gave me a look that said, *you are teachable.* "If you had money, would you spend it on your own son, or your nephew?"
"My son, obviously," I said.
"Exactly," he said. "Jesus and God can barely keep track of their own children; do you think they have time for you?"
"So, if people believe in them, isn't it all for nothing?" I asked. "What do you think?"
"I'd say it's all for nothing," I replied. "After all, blood is thicker than water, right?"
The boss left, telling me to study hard. I stayed put for a few days, but I’m someone who can’t stay idle. After a few days of boredom, I decided to go look for some girls bathing—helping keep watch was a good deed, after all, preventing perverts from peeking.
The boss felt something was off. He suddenly remembered I was no good, and wondered if I was hiding somewhere watching girls bathe again.
He rushed over in a fury and caught me right in the act of keeping watch for a "little fairy." The issue wasn't the keeping watch; the issue was that the little fairy was the boss's daughter. Without a word, he unleashed a barrage of attacks on me and threatened that he would beat me every time he saw me. Seeing that ferocious look in his eyes, I shivered.
I quickly packed my bags and ran for it. I thought to myself: I can't enter the city, I can't go back to the countryside, and I can't go abroad. I wondered if I could go up to the heavens. No sooner said than done—I floated upward. I kept floating and actually drifted out of the atmosphere. I looked back and realized, *Oh, so the Earth really is round.*
I hadn't been to the moon yet. Since I was already out here, I might as well go take a look. I flew with all my might and finally arrived at the moon. Here, my "foolish illness" flared up again. I knew there probably wasn't a Chang'e, but I’d heard people say the moon was hollow. I decided to test it to see if I could pass through. If I could, it meant it was hollow; if not, it was solid.
Without hesitation, I dove headfirst into it. I almost couldn't get back out! Who said it was hollow? It was clearly solid! I nearly got myself stuck. I struggled free, cursing and swearing, but it was no use.
Suddenly, I thought about how powerful black holes were supposedly. I was a ghost, so I shouldn't have to fear them, right? With a cautious test and careful thinking, I drifted toward a black hole. Once I reached it, I carefully drifted inside and then drifted back out. *It’s not that impressive, is it?*
They said it could suck up anything, but what a load of nonsense! Look at me: in and out, in and out, and nothing happened. I went out again, I went back in, and I... "Ow! Who kicked me?"