*Drip...*
*Drip...*
*Screech—*
"Hiss— ouch... I'm freezing to death, freezing to death~!"
An ordinary man, almost frozen stiff, tremblingly pushed open the bedroom door. Wisps of cold air drifted off him as he carefully walked into the kitchen with his frozen little feet, casually swiping a bottle of iced cola from the fridge... and then putting it right back. Damn it, the temperature had dropped so suddenly that a fridge full of cola was too cold to drink.
"Only eight hours left before my second day of work. Ahhh, fourteen hours a day, and they never raise my pay. If my whole life is going to be like this, I might as well just hang myself."
Fu Li slumped lifelessly in a chair in a classic lazy-slouch, turned on the computer with his foot, and muttered, "Come on, Bizon! Launch."
...
*Hahaha, Bizon every round, Global Elite in three days!*
*We Bizon players really have so much skill...* (gets headshot)
*We Bizon players are truly amazing...* (gets gunned down in a spray)
*Come on, let the enemy feel the wrath of the Bizon warrior—* (jumps around frantically while on fire)
*Come, come, the Bizon warrior is...* (screen turns completely white)
...
*Beep beep beep— Boom! Counter-Terrorists win.*
"I officially declare CS:GO 2 to be the game of the year. I'm halfway through a competitive match and it pops up a server error I can't even reconnect to."
Hmph, you forced me to do this!
Genshin Impact... Launch!
He opened the wishing menu, threw out his meager ten-pull, and accompanied by the golden light slowly descending on the screen, his Raiden Shogun, which had been at C0 for over half a year, instantly hit C6.
Fu Li suppressed the urge to celebrate, sitting frozen in his chair for a long time, carefully checking his heartbeat. He didn't drop dead like characters in novels do. The next second, he excitedly kicked his chair away, grabbed Sadako from beside him, and spun her around... Wait...
"Heh heh heh, as everyone knows, the lifespan of lucky players is extremely short. I'll be taking your life, heh heh heh!"
With that, Sadako extended her Nine-Tones White Bone Claws toward Fu Li with a terrifyingly friendly smile. The next second, Sadako was sent flying by a club, while on the other end, Fu Li furiously swished a wooden stick he had picked up from somewhere.
"Little punk, you've really never seen a mob boss, never seen the underworld, huh? Dares you to throw down with me?!"
He whipped the stick around in a blur, only to smack himself squarely in the back of the head. With a *bang*, he was instantly down for the count.
Good opportunity! Sadako lunged forward to seize the chance, but ended up stepping on a banana peel, crashing into a water bottle next to the computer. A burst of electric arcs flashed, and the human-ghost duo performed a synchronized lightning-thunder-breakdance all the way out of the house.
"My computer!! (Voice crack)"
Looking at the billowing black smoke pouring from the house, Fu Li's face turned as multicolored as Skittles, and then he glared fiercely at Sadako, who was backing away with an awkward smile.
"Amenoth, little punk, today I'm going to show you what a recurring nightmare looks like!"
With that, he wheeled an electric scooter out of the shed, flicked on the headlight, twisted the throttle, and charged straight at Sadako to throw down.
*(Utter chaos) (gibberish echoing)*
Fu Li forcefully spouted blessings courtesy of Brother Mob Boss while chasing Sadako down and trying to run her over with the scooter. After rounding a corner, Sadako vanished. Fu Li sneered—ahead was the main city thoroughfare; he wanted to see how this old hag was going to dodge in the open space.
Thinking this, he twisted the throttle all the way, roaring murderously out of the alley. The next second, his angry eyes instantly cleared, and his ferocious visage turned kind and benevolent. Up ahead, Sadako was driving a dump truck and laughing *heh heh heh*.
The tables were instantly turned. Fu Li was now the one riding the scooter, screeching at the top of his lungs while being chased, with Sadako flooring the dump truck right behind him. Quick-thinking Fu Li swerved his handlebars and bolted into a nearby parking lot. Sure enough, the dump truck slammed on the brakes at the narrow parking lot entrance, waited for a moment, and finally left.
"Hahaha, old hag, you want to take me down? Don't think you're invincible just because you ate ()!"
Fu Li danced mockingly right at the entrance of the parking lot, completely unaware that Sadako had quietly crept up right behind him. When he finally turned around, Sadako smiled with terrifying friendliness, hoisting a two-meter-long butcher knife onto her shoulder.
"What was that you were saying just now? I didn't catch it, yo."
The next second, the two-meter-long butcher knife was laid right across Fu Li's neck. His face instantly turned green, a stampede of ten thousand horses raging in his heart. But as the old saying goes: bear it for a moment and the sea will be calm, take a step back and you'll get more and more pissed off. He chose Level 10 English...
"Amenoth, oh she black no hand ima hair en..." *(vanishes instantly)*