The Empress looked at Li Rufeng, the corners of her mouth curling up slightly as she pointed to an exquisite Glazed Jade Vase placed on a nearby table. Slowly, she said, "This Glazed Jade Vase is a rare treasure sent as tribute from the Western Regions, and it is worth a fortune. If you can take it right under my nose without anyone noticing, I will consider you to have passed this first test."
Li Rufeng stared at the Glazed Jade Vase, muttering to himself. The Empress certainly knew how to come up with difficult challenges; stealing something right in front of her was harder than scaling the heavens. But with a mission on his line, he had no choice but to bite the bullet and try.
First, he circled the table a few times, putting on a show of observing the surrounding environment, which drew curious gazes from the onlookers. The Imperial Guards watched him vigilantly, terrified he might pull off some trick.
Suddenly, an idea struck Li Rufeng, and he shouted at the top of his lungs, "Look! A multicolored divine bird in the sky!" Subconsciously, the crowd raised their heads to look at the sky. But of course, there was no multicolored divine bird—it was simply Li Rufeng's distraction tactic. The moment everyone looked up, he reached out to grab the Glazed Jade Vase.
However, how could the Empress be so easily fooled? She saw right through Li Rufeng's trick. The instant his hand was about to touch the jade vase, she gave a gentle flick of her wrist, and the vase instantly vanished into her hand.
Li Rufeng grabbed nothing, pitched forward, and crashed face-first onto the table, banging his head against the corner with a dull thud. Seeing this, the surrounding crowd burst into uproarious laughter.
"Ha! Look at this Li Rufeng, trying to act clever in front of the Empress. Talk about biting off more than you can chew," a soldier laughed, clutching his stomach.
The Empress shook her head with a smile. "Li Rufeng, your tricks are far from enough."
Li Rufeng rubbed his head with a look of embarrassment, but he was not about to accept failure just like that. His eyes darted around, and he hatched another plan.
He pulled a slingshot from his tunic, picked up a small stone from the ground, and shot it at a gong in the distance. With a loud *clang*, the gong rang out, drawing everyone's attention once again.
Taking advantage of the opening, Li Rufeng lunged toward the jade vase. This time, he moved at lightning speed. But just as he was about to get his hands on the vase, a guard standing near the Empress reacted with nimble reflexes and kicked a nearby wooden bucket. The bucket tumbled across the floor and collided with Li Rufeng, tripping him flat onto the ground.
Li Rufeng lay sprawled on the ground like a defeated rooster, and the laughter around him grew even louder. A vegetable vendor chuckled, "This Li Rufeng is always just a hair's breadth away. He's hilarious."
At that moment, the Village Teacher, who had been standing quietly to one side, walked over and said softly to Li Rufeng, "Li Rufeng, in front of the Empress, ordinary tactics won't work. You need to take an unconventional path."
Hearing this, Li Rufeng nodded thoughtfully. How do you suppose Li Rufeng, inspired by the Village Teacher's hint, will come up with a bizarre way to take the jade vase?
After listening to the Village Teacher, Li Rufeng racked his brain until he finally came up with another plan. Putting on a dejected expression, he crept slowly toward the Empress, muttering, "It seems I'm truly out of options. Your Majesty, I surrender, okay?"
Seeing him like this, the Empress relaxed her guard slightly and chuckled. "It turns out you're nothing special after all..." Before she could finish her sentence, Li Rufeng suddenly pulled a homemade pole-net out from his tunic and thrust it with lightning speed toward the clothes rack standing behind the Empress. He had noticed earlier that an article of clothing was hanging on the rack, and he figured he could use the chaos to snag the jade vase.
To his utter shock, what he scooped up with the net was not the vase, but the Empress's undergarment. The delicate garment hung off the net, dangling right in front of everyone as time seemed to freeze.
The Imperial Guards widened their eyes in utter disbelief. The Empress froze for a second, then her face flushed bright red. Seething with a mix of shame and anger, she barked, "Li Rufeng, you have some nerve!"
The townsfolk were so stunned their jaws nearly hit the floor, followed immediately by an explosion of laughter so loud it felt as though it could lift the roof off the street.
"Hahahaha! Why did Li Rufeng fish out the Empress's..." A vendor laughed so hard he bent double, unable to finish his sentence.
"This kid is in deep trouble this time!" the Woodcutter Uncle chuckled, shaking his head.
Li Rufeng was dumbfounded. Staring at the undergarment caught in his net, he wished he could crawl into a crack in the ground. Stammering, he said, "Your... Your Majesty, I... I really didn't mean to. I was aiming for the jade vase, and I never expected..."
Deputy General Mei Yuxin, standing nearby, was torn between fury and amusement. She hurried forward to remove the embarrassing garment from the net. But in her fluster, she accidentally stepped on the hem of her own skirt and stumbled with a *thump* right onto Li Rufeng.
Now the scene dissolved into complete chaos. The palace maids turned away with burning red faces, while the guards fought back their laughter and desperately tried to maintain order.
The Empress took a deep breath, forcing down her anger, and said, "Li Rufeng, you have repeatedly pulled such preposterous stunts. If you don't give me a reasonable explanation today, I will not spare you!"
Trembling with fear, Li Rufeng thought to himself, *I'm done for. I've really messed up this time.*
Just then, an elderly man looking like a wise sage stepped out from the crowd. He cupped his hands in a salute to the Empress and said, "Your Majesty, although Li Rufeng acts rashly, it also shows his resourcefulness and daring. Why not give him one more chance to see if he can truly pass the test?"
The Empress listened, pondered for a moment, and slowly nodded. "Very well. Li Rufeng, if you pull another stunt like this during this final chance, I will have your head!"
Li Rufeng hurriedly kowtowed in gratitude. "Your Majesty, rest assured, this humble servant will not mess up again!"
Knowing this was his last chance, Li Rufeng silently prayed for his Luck Halo to kick in. He steadied himself and began scanning the marketplace, trying to find some inspiration.
Suddenly, a violent gust of wind swept through, kicking up dust and causing everyone to squint. An idea struck Li Rufeng. Using the cover of the swirling wind, he lunged once more toward the table holding the Glazed Jade Vase.
The Luck Halo seemed to actually take effect. Just as he closed in on the vase, a street acrobat accidentally lost his grip and hurled a flying knife. The knife struck true, cleanly severing the cord tied to the jade vase. The vase flew straight toward Li Rufeng, who instinctively reached out and caught it, securely pulling it into his arms.
Overjoyed, Li Rufeng shouted, "Your Majesty, I've got it!" However, this sudden turn of events stunned everyone around them. Before anyone could react, something even more comical happened.
Realizing his flying knife had gone wild, the terrified acrobat turned as pale as a sheet and lunged forward at all costs to catch it. But he ran too fast and slammed headfirst straight into Li Rufeng. Since Li Rufeng was already holding the jade vase, the impact sent him stumbling forward.
At that moment, the Empress was standing not far away, and Li Rufeng plunged right toward her. The guards beside the Empress panicked, wanting to block him, but it was already too late.
With a *thud*, Li Rufeng, still clutching the vase, crashed to the ground together with the Empress in a most ridiculous posture. Miraculously, the jade vase did not break, but Li Rufeng's face ended up buried squarely in the hem of the Empress's skirt.
The marketplace fell instantly silent, followed by a deafening roar of laughter. The townsfolk laughed until tears streamed down their faces, some doubled over and unable to stand straight.
"Hahaha, this Li Rufeng manages to pull off something this absurd every single time!"
"True! Being this brazen in front of the Empress is unbelievable, but it's too funny."
Flustered and annoyed with her face flushed bright red, the Empress scolded loudly, "Li Rufeng, you..."
Li Rufeng hastily lifted his head from the Empress's skirt and said awkwardly, "Your Majesty, I... I really didn't mean to. This sudden twist of fate sent the vase flying into my hands, but then the acrobat crashed into me—I honestly couldn't help it."
Deputy General Mei Yuxin bit back a laugh, stepped forward to help the Empress up, and said to Li Rufeng, "You really are a piece of work. You manage to turn a perfectly good situation into a farce every single time."
Taking a few deep breaths and looking at the undamaged jade vase in Li Rufeng's hands, the Empress was torn between anger and amusement. "Fine, fine. Although the process was utterly ridiculous, you did get the vase in the end. I'll count this first test as barely passed."
Overjoyed, Li Rufeng kowtowed and expressed his gratitude again and again. "Thank you for your magnanimity, Your Majesty!"
The Empress looked at him with a glimmer of mischief in her eyes and said, "However, this second test won't be nearly as easy. By noon tomorrow, right here in front of everyone, you must use this jade vase to brew a cup of wine that will make me sing its praises—otherwise, all your previous efforts will go to waste!"
Hearing this, Li Rufeng was dumbstruck, groaning inwardly, *How on earth am I supposed to pull this off?!*