Seeing that Deputy General Mei Yuxin still refused to budge, Li Rufeng rolled his eyes and began to argue craftily, "General, look at these skills of mine—all show and no substance. I wouldn't be able to help at all on the battlefield, and I might even bring shame upon our Imperial Guard. Have mercy, General, and let me go home." As he spoke, he inched slowly backward, trying to seize the opportunity to slip away.
Yet whenever bad luck struck Li Rufeng, it seemed even drinking cold water would choke him. As he backed up, failing to notice a protruding Shítou at his feet, he stepped right on it, lost his balance, and pitched directly toward Deputy General Mei Yuxin.
Deputy General Mei Yuxin was right in the middle of pondering how to convince Li Rufeng and was completely unprepared for this sudden turn of events. With a sharp rip, Li Rufeng's tumble actually tore the fastening cord on Deputy General Mei Yuxin's armor, causing several pieces of plate armor to scatter noisily all over the ground.
Everyone was so stunned by this spectacle that their jaws nearly hit the floor, and a roar of uproarious laughter immediately erupted. The soldiers laughed so hard they doubled over, some even shedding tears in mirth. The Woodcutter Uncle fought hard to keep from laughing, his face turning beet red. The vegetable vendor couldn't help covering her mouth, gently shaking her head.
Mortified and furious, Deputy General Mei Yuxin's face flushed crimson as she pointed at Li Rufeng and raged, "You... you rascal, you accomplish nothing and ruin everything!"
Terrified and pale as a sheet, Li Rufeng hurriedly dropped to his knees to beg for mercy. "General, I truly didn't mean to! Why does one piece of bad luck just keep following another? You are magnanimous, please don't hold this against me."
At that moment, a quick-witted young soldier hurried forward to gather the scattered pieces of armor, flustered as he tried to help the deputy general put her armor back on. Yet he too was so unsettled by the farce that his hands fumbled, and he couldn't get the armor properly tied for the longest time.
Nearby, the Village Teacher Kǒng Fán smiled and shook his head, saying to Deputy General Mei Yuxin, "General, look at this Li Rufeng. Though mischievous and playful, he's certainly added plenty of amusement to our stern recruitment drive."
Deputy General Mei Yuxin cast a sour glare at the Village Teacher Kǒng Fán, then looked down at the pathetic, kneeling Li Rufeng, her heart a tangled knot of mixed emotions.
Right in the middle of this awkward moment, a soldier came running from afar, breathless as he reported, "General, an unidentified force has been spotted approaching ahead, and they do not seem to come with good intentions!"
Hearing this, Deputy General Mei Yuxin's expression shifted drastically. Putting Li Rufeng out of her mind, she immediately ordered, "All troops, prepare to meet the enemy!"
Just as Deputy General Mei Yuxin heard that an unidentified force was approaching and was about to rally her troops for battle, a figure flashed by as swift as a ghost, appearing before the crowd in the blink of an eye. It turned out to be the Imperial Guard's General Ma Rulong in person.
With a gaze as sharp as a torch, General Ma Rulong swept his eyes over the scene, taking in the scattered armor on the ground and Li Rufeng kneeling to one side. Frowning, he demanded, "What is the meaning of this?" Blushing, Deputy General Mei Yuxin recounted everything that had just happened from start to finish.
Finding Li Rufeng rather amusing upon hearing the tale, General Ma Rulong decided to test the fellow himself. Stepping forward, he said to Li Rufeng, "I hear you possess some rather peculiar skills. Today, I'd like to see how you deal with me." With that, General Ma Rulong assumed a stance, a formidable pressure washing over the space.
Li Rufeng's legs turned to jelly with fright, and he cursed his luck inwardly, *What on earth do I do now? With the General stepping in himself, I'm afraid I won't escape alive today.* But his mind whirred, and he decided to resort to his old trick: casting his Bad Luck Curse.
Faking terror as he backed away, Li Rufeng muttered incantations under his breath. Just as General Ma Rulong was about to strike, his foot suddenly caught on a small pebble, and his body listed to one side, nearly causing him to fall. Regaining his footing, General Ma Rulong felt a sense of astonishment, though he kept his counsel.
The surrounding soldiers couldn't help snickering at the sight, but not daring to laugh too loudly, they had to hold it in, making for a most comical scene. Deputy General Mei Yuxin was also trying hard to suppress her smiles on the sidelines, secretly exchanging glances with Li Rufeng to hint that he should hurry up and bolt.
Catching her drift, Li Rufeng continued to work his Bad Luck Curse. As General Ma Rulong raised his fist once more to attack, a little bird flew in from out of nowhere, hovering directly above his head and dropping a dollop of bird droppings that landed squarely on the General's helmet.
"Hahahahaha..." This time the soldiers could no longer restrain themselves, bursting into gales of laughter. The General's face turned iron-blue with humiliation and rage, but he forced down his anger and fixed his gaze on Li Rufeng.
Seizing the chance, Li Rufeng turned and ran, shouting as he went, "Spare my life, General! I really just want to go home and farm!"
At that moment, the vegetable vendor nearby called out with a laugh, "Li Rufeng! Slow down a bit, don't go tripping yourself!" The Woodcutter Uncle also shook his head with a chuckle, "This kid really has a way about him."
Meanwhile, the Village Teacher Kǒng Fán cupped his hands in salute to General Ma Rulong. "General, although Li Rufeng behaves quite ridiculously, it also shows how quick-witted he is. It's simply that he has no desire to serve as a soldier. If you consider this..."
Watching the distant retreating figure of Li Rufeng, the General pondered for a moment and said, "Forget it. Since the boy is so dead set against joining the army, keeping him here by force is of no use."
However, just as Li Rufeng thought he had finally escaped and was running merrily along, he suddenly collided with a clothesline, tripping forward and biting the dust. "Ow, ouch!" Li Rufeng grimaced in pain, and upon seeing this, the surrounding crowd broke into yet another round of uproarious laughter.