General Ma Rulong looked at Li Rufeng's disheveled state and initially intended to let the matter drop, but the more he thought about it, the more eccentric he found this fellow. Possessing such extraordinary skills yet stubbornly refusing to enlist—there had to be some hidden story behind it. With a wave of his hand, he barked, "Men, tie him up and bring him back to the military camp!"
The soldiers acknowledged the order and lunged at Li Rufeng like a pack of wolves. Li Rufeng silently cursed his bad luck; if he were dragged back to the camp like this, he would truly be out of options. In his panic, he resorted to his ultimate trump card: the Shift-Person Substitution Technique.
With a flash of light and shadow, Li Rufeng vanished into thin air. The soldiers lunged at empty space and stared at one another in blank dismay. At that very moment, a delicate shriek rang out. Everyone whipped their heads around, only to see that Li Rufeng had crashed headfirst into Deputy General Mei Yuxin. It turned out that amid the panic, Li Rufeng had botched the execution of his Shift-Person Substitution Technique, blundering right beside Deputy General Mei Yuxin and—unable to check his momentum—slamming her straight to the ground beneath him.
The sight was utterly farcical. The soldiers, who had been dead serious about tying him up just a moment ago, instantly burst into roaring laughter. The Woodcutter Uncle laughed so hard he could not straighten his back, wheezing, "Li Rufeng, you always manage to cook up some bizarre stunt." The vegetable-selling auntie could not help chuckling either, remarking, "This kid really knows how to pick a spot to take a tumble."
Deputy General Mei Yuxin was mortified and furious, her face flushed crimson. She shoved Li Rufeng away with all her might and scolded indignantly, "You jerk, what kind of trick are you pulling this time?!"
Li Rufeng awkwardly scratched the back of his head and curried favor with a sheepish smile, "General, I... I really had no choice. Look at this fall I took—ouch, my poor back is practically breaking."
General Ma Rulong was caught between laughter and anger as he stepped forward and said, "You rascal have plenty of tricks up your sleeve, but you never put them to proper use. If you don't come back to the military camp with me today, I won't be so polite anymore!"
Hearing this, Li Rufeng's eyes darted around. He suddenly clutched his stomach, feigning acute abdominal pain, and began rolling around on the ground while groaning incessantly, "Ouch, it kills me! General, my old ailment is acting up—I'm afraid I won't be able to make it to the camp. Have mercy and let me go home."
The surrounding soldiers were amused by his exaggerated acting. One of them could not resist teasing, "Li Rufeng, your stomachache picked quite the timely moment to flare up. Don't tell me you're faking it again?"
Just then, Kong Fan, the Village Teacher who had remained silent until now, stepped forward and addressed the general, "General, look at this Li Rufeng. Although he resists enlisting in every possible way, it also shows that his mind is quite agile. If you force him back to the camp, I fear he will harbor resentment and affect troop morale. It would be better to let him return home for now and discuss this at length later."
General Ma Rulong gave a slight nod. After pondering for a moment, he said, "Very well, I will spare you today. But remember this: if Daxia is ever in peril, don't even think about staying out of it!"
Li Rufeng nodded eagerly, "Yes, yes, yes! Don't you worry, General. As long as Daxia is in trouble, I, Li Rufeng, will not hesitate." Although he said this aloud, to himself he thought, *Let's just survive this crisis first.*
Believing the general was genuinely letting him go, Li Rufeng heaved a sigh of relief and prepared to slip away. Little did he know that General Ma Rulong was playing a dirty trick; he shot a glance at Deputy General Mei Yuxin. Catching the hint instantly, Deputy General Mei Yuxin lunged forward like a koala hugging a tree, wrapping her arms around Li Rufeng in a death grip as she shouted, "You groped me and think you can just run away? In your dreams!"
Startled by the sudden ambush, Li Rufeng struggled and cried out, "General, what are you doing? When on earth did I grope you? Heaven and earth are my witness!"
Deputy General Mei Yuxin put on an aggrieved expression and raised her voice, "When you tackled me just now, your hands and feet were all over the place. Are you trying to deny it now?"
The surrounding soldiers cracked up all over again, doubling over with laughter. Tears were streaming down the Woodcutter Uncle's face as he choked out, "Oh, Li Rufeng, even if you jumped into the Yellow River, you wouldn't be able to wash this clean!" The vegetable-selling auntie chimed in with a laugh, "This female general is truly formidable. Let's see how Li Rufeng gets himself out of this one."
Red-faced with anxiety, Li Rufeng tried to pry the deputy general's hands apart while explaining, "General, what happened just now was an accident! I really didn't mean it. Let go of me!"
Instead of letting go, Deputy General Mei Yuxin tightened her grip and coquettishly complained to General Ma Rulong, "General, you must uphold justice for me! You can't let this scoundrel off so easily."
With a straight face, General Ma Rulong put on a stern demeanor and declared, "Hmph, Li Rufeng, molesting a female general is no minor offense. Men, tie him back up and take him to the camp for a proper reckoning!"
The soldiers acknowledged the order, swarmed forward, and trussed Li Rufeng up tightly from head to toe.
Bound like a rice dumpling and hauled into the air, Li Rufeng continued to protest his innocence, "I've been wronged, General! I really didn't molest the female general, it was all a misunderstanding!" But nobody paid him any heed as they escorted him toward the military camp.
Along the way, a soldier could not resist throwing in a jab, "Li Rufeng, you're famous now—you actually dared to flirt with our dashing female general."
With a woebegone expression, Li Rufeng pleaded, "Brother, have mercy and put in a good word for me with the general. I really was framed!"
Trussed up like a roast pig, Li Rufeng felt utterly depressed. Suddenly, a mechanical voice rang out in his mind: "Ding! System mission issued: successfully escape this military service. Success will yield a mysterious reward; failure will result in the random deduction of one skill."
Li Rufeng was startled. The system's arrival was abrupt, but for now, it was his only lifeline.
On the march back to camp, Ma Rulong rode at the front on a towering steed with a solemn expression, while Mei Yuxin escorted Li Rufeng, casting triumphant glances at him from time to time. The surrounding soldiers chatted and laughed, using Li Rufeng as the butt of their jokes.
"Stop struggling, Li Rufeng. Once you're inside the camp, you're in for a wonderful life," a soldier chirped with a grin.
Li Rufeng rolled his eyes at him and muttered under his breath, "I didn't commit any crime, why on earth do they have to press-gang me into the army?"
Just then, a hare darted out from the roadside, startling Ma Rulong's horse. The steed neighed and reared its front hooves, catching Ma Rulong off guard and nearly unseating him. Seeing this, the soldiers rushed forward to help.
Li Rufeng's eyes lit up—this was the golden opportunity! He squeezed out an ingratiating smile toward Mei Yuxin, "General Mei, look, what happened just now really wasn't intentional. Have mercy and let me go. Someone as pretty as you surely has a kind heart."
Mei Yuxin snorted. "Save the smooth talk. Why didn't you think of the consequences when you were running away earlier?"
Realizing that soft tactics were getting him nowhere, Li Rufeng switched to playing the pitiful card. "General Mei, I still have an eighty-year-old mother at home. She's bedridden and paralyzed, just waiting for me to take care of her. If you drag me away, what is she going to do?" As he spoke, he even squeezed out a few fake tears.
Mei Yuxin felt her resolve softening slightly, but she kept up a hard facade. "Don't put on a pitiful act here. For all we know, that hare was deliberately let out by you."
While the two of them were at a stalemate, the hare scampered back out and crashed right into a soldier's leg. Caught off guard, the soldier let out a yelp and face-planted squarely into the mud. The other soldiers burst into fits of laughter.
"Is that hare a spirit or something? It's making trouble on purpose," a soldier laughed.
Amid the chaos, Li Rufeng's mind raced for an escape plan. Suddenly, inspiration struck. He shouted at the top of his lungs, "Oh no, there are assassins!"
Hearing this, the soldiers immediately turned alert and began scanning their surroundings.
Ma Rulong steadied his mount and bellowed, "Don't panic! Search carefully!"
Taking advantage of the diverted attention, Li Rufeng covertly cast an Illusion Technique, making it look as though he was still tied up in place while he quietly slipped away toward the nearby woods.
Mei Yuxin quickly realized something was amiss. She pointed at the "Li Rufeng" illusion and cried out, "Oh no, we've been tricked! He's escaped!"
Ma Rulong's expression darkened. "After him! He must not get away!"
The soldiers immediately gave chase in the direction Li Rufeng had fled.
Do you think Li Rufeng will successfully escape this time? What new predicaments await him in the woods? Will he encounter a helper, or will he be recaptured by Ma Rulong and his men? Let's continue reading this hilarious story to find out.