Damn it! To hell with this pathetic world!
Damn it! To hell with this pathetic fate!
Damn it! To hell with this pathetic life!
Damn it, damn it, damn it!
Xiao Sese currently wanted to ruin everything!
She only hated that she wasn't a master of all trades; otherwise, not a single vase or beer bottle in her house would be safe!
Anything with even a slight concave shape would not be spared!
And the reason for her insanity was the infuriating man standing right in front of her, a man she both loved and hated.
She loved him because he was handsome.
She hated him because—is this guy even a man?!
"Xiao Sese, are you even listening to me?"
The man’s voice cut through the air, cold and indifferent.
Song Beichen carried an air of three parts mockery, three parts displeasure, and four parts nonchalance.
Looking at him was like staring at a textbook pie chart of a stereotypical "CEO" character.
"Director Niu is insisting on adding a kissing scene for me. Go handle it."
Song Beichen turned to leave without waiting for an answer, but a faint female voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Song Beichen..."
Xiao Sese’s voice was unnervingly calm.
"Could you find a blind spot for a heavy-duty truck, wait for it to make a turn, and just die there?"
She could probably even get a few hundred thousand in compensation for him; his parents, who would be receiving the payout, would be moved to tears!
Stroking his urn, they’d murmur: "You silly child, not being a burden on your parents is the greatest gift you could ever give us!"
***
Song Beichen: "What exactly are you trying to do?"
"Screw you!"
He crossed his arms and retreated cautiously. "I don't agree!"
"In your dreams! I’m going to screw you into oblivion!"
"..."
Song Beichen, pushed to his limit, grabbed Xiao Sese by the wrist. His eyes were filled with undisguised disgust.
"Xiao Sese, you had better remember your position! As my agent, you should know what you should and shouldn't do."
Xiao Sese frowned, staring at her gripped wrist. A nameless fire rose—three stories high, two stories, like a literal firecracker!
Screw it! It’s time to blow this up!
"I’m the master of my own life, and if you keep bossing me around, you’ll be the one in the grave."
Song Beichen frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. I was going to light a stick of incense for you, but then I remembered you aren't dead yet."
"But don't worry, I can see you off right now."
Song Beichen: "???"
Xiao Sese lunged, grabbed his meticulously styled hair, and shoved his head into the refrigerator.
"You seem to be running hot—cool off a bit!"
Then, she slammed the door shut.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"This is lesson one: how many steps does it take to put an idiot in a fridge?"
Xiao Sese pinched him with every word.
Song Beichen let out a pained howl with every pinch.
*Sigh.* Not satisfying enough.
Xiao Sese’s eyes darted around, locking onto the only item in the fridge: a three-month-old fermented egg.
"This is a tribute for you, you over-fermented piece of trash!"
She shoved it right into his mouth.
The egg, now a putrid, yellow liquid, oozed out from the corners of Song Beichen’s mouth.
"Yuehh..."
A thick, pungent stench instantly filled the air. A total biological assault!
Song Beichen tried to scream, but instead, he ended up swallowing two mouthfuls of the sludge.
He rolled his eyes and passed out from the stench.
***
Looking at the limp, stinking man, Xiao Sese surveyed the kitchen.
A vegetable knife, a pot of boiling oil, a boning knife, a wide drain...
The "four-piece set for perfect body disposal." Anyone who knew what these were for was already in jail.
In the end... she chose a snake-skin sack from the corner.
It wasn't that she didn't have the guts—she understood perfectly well that life had no value—but natural gas was really expensive these days.
Funny, he didn't even deserve such a luxurious death!
***
A moment later, Xiao Sese started a live stream.
Title: Hanging Song Beichen!!
Trending!! I'm going to finish you off today!!!
Because Song Beichen was a trendy young actor with a massive base of "girlfriend fans," countless fans flooded the stream. They were ready to tear apart this clout-chasing influencer, only to discover their idol was actually being hung!!
In the video, Song Beichen had purple bruises around his neck. He was stuffed into a snake-skin sack and hung from a beam, eyes closed, life uncertain.
The floor was littered with various tools.
[What is going on?!]
[Ah!!!! Brother Beichen has been kidnapped!!!!!]
[Call the police!!!!!]
[Sisters, don't call the police! They might kill him! Let's crowdfund the ransom to save him!!!]
[Don't kill him, kill me instead!! I'm useless to society anyway!!]
[You bitch! Is my Brother Beichen dead or alive?!]
"Doesn't matter. If he wakes up, I'll hang him again."
Xiao Sese, wearing a mask printed with a black face, grinned and held up a willow branch.
"Sisters, no nonsense. One heart for one lash!
One rocket to choose the weapon,
Send me a Carnival and I'll smash him oUo."
The viewers gasped.
Someone sent 10 hearts.
Xiao Sese spat in her palm, dipped the willow branch in water, and swung.
"80, 80, 80..."
After 10 lashes, Song Beichen slowly came to, screaming in pain!
"Xiao Sese, what—do—you—want!!!!"
[Xiao Sese? Song Beichen’s agent?]
[I thought it looked like her! Can't get him, so you destroy him?!]
[But didn't I hear they were dating when he was a nobody?!]
[Fanny mud go pee!!!]
[Everyone knows she tried to sleep her way to the top, but he liked Shi Youran and ignored her.]
...
"Xiao Sese, let me down!!!"
"Ah~ can't do that. The one thing I can't let go of in this life is my chopsticks."
"I'm a human, not a pair of chopsticks!!"
"Not necessarily," Xiao Sese shook her head. "Don't you think humans are like disposable chopsticks waiting to be split apart? You love 'splitting your legs' (cheating) so much, I'm worried your balls will catch a cold. Might as well split you open."
Xiao Sese’s words echoed in Song Beichen’s ears. Combined with her disheveled hair, rolled-back eyes, and sinister smile, Song Beichen shuddered so hard he felt his bladder give way.
Xiao Sese ignored him and kept changing her tactics.
"Looks like that didn't hit the spot. How about this? I'm calling names! If I call your name, you better send me a plane, or I'm starting the torture!"
Having been his agent for five years, she knew exactly which fans were the big spenders.
"User 'BeichenIsTheBest'—kneel for me!"
Before 'BeichenIsTheBest' could react, Xiao Sese whipped the branch down.
Song Beichen let out a pained cry!
Xiao Sese leaned against the table, her face pressed against the phone screen.
"You need to work harder for your idol! Otherwise, the wall someone else pushes your idol against will be the wall where his body is buried!"
[Don't! I'll send it, I'll send it!!]
[I'm sending! I'm sending!]
[Top Fan, what are you doing?! She called you, didn't you hear her?]
[Do you want to kill my brother?]
In an instant, countless planes dropped into the stream. The popularity attracted droves of trolls who weren't even fans.
When they entered the stream, they were all stunned.
"'Doraemon'—kneel for me!"
"'SugarIsntBitter'—kneel for me!!"
"'IHateCilantro'—kneel for me!"
...
The planes were so dense they almost covered the screen.
[Did I wake up on the wrong side? Is this a military parade?]
[This masked vigilante is good at training dogs, huh? One word and they're sending planes?]
[So powerful?! Why haven't I seen her before?]
[Didn't you say you'd let him go if we sent planes?!!!]
Xiao Sese noticed the comment.
"That's right, I'm a person of principle. Since I said it, I'll keep saying it."
"..."
The chat was on fire. The onlookers just wanted to watch the show.
[Host, change the tool? Do you have a stun gun?]
Xiao Sese frowned; she hadn't prepared that, but it wouldn't stop her.
A moment later, she found a lighter, smashed it with a "pop," and took out the igniter.
"What are you doing?!"
Song Beichen squirmed frantically in terror.
Xiao Sese didn't speak, just grinned sinisterly.
She grabbed Song Beichen’s foot and pressed the igniter against his sole, clicking it repeatedly.
"Ah!!!"
[Hahaha! That's intense!!!]
[He’s squirming, looks like Eason Chan's soldier.]
[Sure enough, happiness is truly built on someone else's suffering.]
[Playing this big? This male influencer is really going all out for clicks!!!]
[Don't, Brother Beichen!!!]
[My little sister is on the floor kowtowing to Xiao Sese to make her stop!!!]
[Song Beichen? Isn't he a star? Did he go into porn???]
Under the relentless torment, Song Beichen was filled with unprecedented shame and fury.
The pressure in his bladder matched his current situation—completely out of his control!
The trolls hadn't finished making fun of him when the live stream was forcibly shut down by moderators, and the police arrived to rescue Song Beichen.
Headlines for the day:
#Agent attempts to kill male star after rejection#
#The entertainment industry is finished#
#Who is actually guarding the territory of showbiz#
#How satisfying is it to stun feet with a lighter?#
...
Because the rotten eggs, willow branches, and lighter weren't considered "serious weapons," Xiao Sese was only sentenced to 15 days of administrative detention.
The fans were naturally furious.
"She only lost her freedom and her civil service eligibility, but our brother lost his dignity!!"
Because the fans kept appealing and there was some behind-the-scenes manipulation, the court had to hold a hearing three days later.
During those three days in detention, Xiao Sese fully grasped the truth behind her transmigration.
That’s right, in typical cliché fashion, she had transmigrated.
And she transmigrated into a brain-dead novel written by the idiotic screenwriter of her own lousy company!
In the original novel, "Star-Crossed Lovers: The Scarlet Entanglement of Showbiz," she was a cannon-fodder supporting character. She debuted in a legendary director's film, yet chose to switch careers to become an agent for the sake of "purifying the industry," signing both her boyfriend Song Beichen and the "little green tea" Shi Youran.
On the day of Song Beichen’s birthday party, the original Xiao Sese expected him to announce their relationship.
Instead, he backstabbed her, accusing her of "trading sexual favors for roles" and framing her for forcing Shi Youran to attend drinking parties!
In her past life, the real Xiao Sese had just looked at the author with a look of indifference.
One sentence—"This book is so watered down, even a steam engine couldn't get it to boil"—had offended the author deeply.
Then, the author pulled a "Lin Daiyu toppling a willow tree" move and smashed a "money tree" ornament into her heart.
Followed by the scene at the beginning.
Xiao Sese was incredibly frustrated!
Beyond frustrated!!!
Why couldn't I have transmigrated into a spicy romance novel instead?!!
Well, it's fine.
I'm the kind of person who would bend down to pick up a single coin, yet I've encountered something more unlikely than a seven-star alignment.
Since the world has greeted me with pain, I might as well enjoy the ride.
You won't let me?
Then I'll just force my way through.
The "Star Agent" is ready for battle!!!!