At 6:00 AM the next day, a shrill, miserable scream pierced the sky.
The chickens next door were terrified, the dogs were panicked, and the old ox didn't dare to moo anymore.
Inside Xiao Sese's room, a production crew member was scurrying about in panic while Xiao Sese chased him relentlessly with a throw pillow.
"Wretch! How dare you ruin my golden dream and disrupt my flirtatious heart!
Mere tricks of the trade, yet you dare to show off before an expert! Behold my Great Vajra Dragon! Great Law Mantra!"
"Ah!! Director, save me~~~~"
……
A moment later……
Xiao Sese: "You're telling me that a masked man sneaked into my room at six in the morning and lifted my blanket just to wake me up for a mission?"
Director Wang (looking ten years older): "What else did you expect? Why is your morning temper so terrifying?!"
Director Wang paused for a moment, glanced at the intern cowering in the corner with dark circles under his eyes, grievances written all over his face as he chewed on the corner of the quilt, and leaning closer to Xiao Sese, lowered his voice to continue.
"It was not easy for me to recruit a college student who is good at his job, cheap, and clueless—most importantly, he was the only one brave enough to come and wake you up. Look at you, you beat him up so badly his own mother wouldn't recognize him."
Xiao Sese narrowed her eyes and carefully sized up the intern. Well, you know what, she really had to hand it to him! Once you took off his cap and mask, he actually had a certain lingering charm!
Xiao Sese (in her everyday lecherous mode): "Little brother, you're at least 180 centimeters tall, right? You look like a sports major! Do you have an eight-pack? Can you lift your shirt and let big sister poke them?
You won't let me poke them?! Why are you so stingy?!
Forget it, do you want to come intern at big sister's place? Big sister will issue you an internship certificate, you know~"
The college student (in his everyday pure and foolish mode): "I'd rather not, right? The kind of work you're asking for—our school won't accept an internship certificate for it."
Xiao Sese: "……"
Director Wang: "……"
Enough!
I said enough!!
After the brief farce, the seven guests, all cleaned up and having eaten breakfast, were led into the studio while yawning continuously.
Since it was now working hours, the mighty armies of bullet comments flooded in:
[My boss is away on a business trip today, so I'm watching this crazy variety show while enjoying the AC. So refreshing!]
[To the person above, jealousy is making my ass itch, so I've decided to go take a paid crap.]
[What happened last night? Why does Song Beichen have a cotton swab stuck up his nose?]
[I know!!! I stayed up until midnight watching last night—Song Beichen went to see Xiao Sese privately, got rejected, and then smashed his face into the door in grief and anger.][The person upstairs, did you watch that with your asshole?! It was obviously that trash Xiao who deliberately slammed the door and hit our dearest brother! Last night our fandom already flooded Xiao trash's hashtag page.]
[Why waste the energy doing that? Do you think my Sister Xiao cares?]
...
Wang Qiang scanned the room with bleary eyes, finally letting his gaze fix on Director Wang's face.
"Director Wang, how did you get a ring of fever blisters all around your mouth?"
"Ha ha... Probably because I've been eating too much spicy food lately, yeah, right!"
The group of people looked bewildered; only Xiao Sese smiled with an expression of gratified satisfaction.
"Director Wang, it seems you took my words to heart. That's right, since you can't change anything, the least you can do is keep a stiff upper lip!"
"..."
After a brief silence, Director Wang began rummaging around for his blood pressure medication.
The assistant director smoothly took over the heavy responsibility of announcing the task, as if he were entirely used to this.
"Good morning, teachers..."
Xiao Sese: "What the fuck is good about this morning! Who invented morning greetings? Who on earth is having a good time?!"
Assistant Director: ...Does this older sister's morning crankiness still not wear off?!
"Uh... Teacher Xiao, let's keep the language civilized, haha. Don't be angry anymore; waking up early is actually beneficial to you..."
Xiao Sese: "If it's really beneficial to me, I hope it's a Bentley."
Assistant Director: ...
Director Wang: "Don't engage with her, just state the task."
"Teachers, yesterday we kept things simple just to help everyone ease in and adapt.
But today is different. Our reality show is going to step up the intensity, and I mean high intensity~"
Hearing this, the other guests immediately put on serious expressions. As a veteran director, everyone knew his show's style very well, so no one dared to take it lightly.
However, unlike the others, Xiao Sese's body had already begun swaying from side to side, giving off the strong impression that she was ready to lie down and fall asleep on the spot right then and there.
Frightened, Wang Qiang at her side spread his arms like a mother hen protecting her chicks, ready to catch her at any second.
Director Wang behind them finally couldn't take it anymore and directly turned the volume of the waist-clip megaphone up to maximum.
"Teacher Xiao! Are you really this sleepy!!"
Startled into action, Xiao Sese abruptly sat up straight, then opened her mouth with a blank, unfocused stare."I’m so tired and sleepy. If it weren't for the lack of written records, I’d suspect I was the one who spent all night building the pyramids yesterday."
Laughing to death—she’s at that age where she’s so tired she could fall asleep standing up.
Director Wang: "Teacher Xiao, this is going to be the pace for the rest of the show. You really should adjust your schedule and stop staying up so late."
"Hmm, staying up late shortens your lifespan."
"Exactly, that’s the logic."
"So, what’s wrong with using my old-age lifespan to extend my waking hours while I’m young? Staying up late is a slow way to die, but it’s a quick way to have fun. If the King of Hell tells me to die at the third watch, I’ll head down there by the second. I might even leave a good impression on the boss."
Everyone: "..."
*Hiss*—wait a minute!
[I’m learning these life lessons as soon as I hear them.]
[First time I’ve heard such positive negative energy.]
[Truly nonsense that warms the heart.]
[If I’ve been undisciplined my whole life, isn't that just a form of discipline in itself?]
[I’ve lived my whole life, and the people I can chat with best are still you bunch of netizens.]
...
Director Wang was fuming, forced to use both threats and bribes: "Being sleepy won't cut it! If today's morning tasks aren't completed, there will be no food for lunch or dinner!"
"Food? Is it time to eat? Where is it?" Xiao Sese briefly regained her focus and pulled a pair of disposable chopsticks from her pocket.
[Pfft, hahahaha. Her vibe is: 'I heard you, but I didn't really hear you.']
[Someone please check this crazy woman's mental state! I'm not kidding!]
In a daze, Xiao Sese only remembered blinking her eyes once, and the scene shifted from the studio to the beach.
"Uh, huh? What's going on?"
Xiao Sese arched an eyebrow, a flash of shrewdness in her eyes.
"Could it be that after my rebirth, I’ve unlocked a 'Golden Finger' system that rewards me with teleportation? Is this meant to help me turn dark, seek revenge, clear all obstacles, become the female lead, have a young 'puppy love' toy, and reach the pinnacle of life?!?"
Just as she was deep in her deductions, a low male voice resonated from behind her.
"Sis, you really need to uninstall that fiction app."
Startled, Xiao Sese reacted purely on instinct: "Ah!! You monster, take my kick!"
"Ah~~~"
Xiao Sese turned to see an unidentified object resembling Wang Qiang trace a graceful arc through the air before landing flat on the sand.
Realizing she’d caused trouble, Xiao Sese did a sliding kneel, threw herself over Wang Qiang, and burst into tears.
"Wang Qiang, go in peace! I’ll make sure to throw you a big funeral! A spectacular one!"
While speaking, one of her hands secretly wiped the size 37 footprint off his chest, while she took the opportunity to pat his pectoral and abdominal muscles.
*Ooh*—he’s got some goods!
Director Wang sprinted over, legs swinging wildly. He kicked at the troublemaker frantically.
"Xiao Sese, shut your mouth! He can still be saved! Staff! Call an ambulance now!!!!!!"
The scene descended into chaos. Director Wang had to pause the recording, and Li Shuer pulled Xiao Sese aside.
"Don't pull me! Let me touch him again! Fainting happens often, but an eight-pack is rare!"
"Sis, stop making things worse. Besides, haven't you already touched him enough?"
"Huh? You saw me being so subtle?"
Over the next 20 minutes, Li Shuer helped her recall exactly how Wang Qiang had carried Xiao Sese to the car, and how he had kindly let her lean on his shoulder to sleep, only to be molested in return.
"That’s how it went. Anyway, when we were woken up by Wang Qiang's screams, we saw your hand shoved inside his shirt, and your mouth was puckered up, trying to kiss his face."
After finishing, Li Shuer patted Xiao Sese’s shoulder with genuine sympathy: "Sis, don't feel too guilty. You didn't mean to do it."
"Guilty for what? It’s understandable, after all, I’m almost thirty."
"Huh?" Li Shuer was confused. What did age have to do with this?
"As the saying goes, a woman at thirty is like a wolf, at forty like a tiger, and at fifty she can suck the soil right off the ground. Being a bit horny is nothing. The most important thing is that my age hasn't affected my charm or sense of fun in the slightest."
Li Shuer covered her ears, her face turning crimson... I shouldn't have bothered comforting her.
Although the live stream wasn't focused on Xiao Sese at that moment, their lapel mics were still on, and the comments exploded.
[Good job, have a reward!]
[It feels like a car has run over my face back and forth, with a turn in the middle.]
[Such a beautiful mental state, such a crazy, horny remark.]
[Suddenly, I’m full of confidence in my own lust.]
[Is it trendy to talk so bizarrely these days?!]