No matter what, Xiao Sese had answered the question correctly, and thus she earned a meat dish.
"Brother Beichen, I saw you looked like you wanted to speak just now. Why don't you give it a try too?"
Shi Youran blinked her wide, fluttering eyes, speaking as if she were being considerate.
Song Beichen: ……I really have to thank you so much.
Hearing this, Xiao Sese looked up. "Hey! What's the fun in everyone answering the same question? How about I give you one?"
"Hmph, whatever you like."
"Alright then. But this question of mine involves a bit of legal trouble. Can you handle it?"
Song Beichen hesitated. "Law isn't my specialty."
"How about a multiple-choice question? Pick the correct answer from four options."
"That shouldn't be a problem. It's pretty much like finding arguments for an essay."
Song Beichen crossed his arms with confidence.
"Alright then." Xiao Sese cleared her throat.
"Which of the following constitutes the crime of picking quarrels and provoking trouble?"
"A. Handing out wedding candy to funeral mourners at the entrance of a funeral parlor.
B. Going to the hospital every day to water a vegetative patient.
C. Playing 'Only Mom is Good in the World' on a loop at the entrance of an orphanage.
D. Asking 'Why didn't your mother come?' while attending a friend's mother's funeral?"
Song Beichen: ……Hands behind his back, little pouting mouth~
[Hold on, let me grab some barbecue.]
[Goodness me, we were so busy answering questions we forgot to attack the person who wrote them!]
[Teacher Luo, hurry up and get over here!!!]
[Looking at these punchable options, it must be 'all of the above', right?]
[I have no idea which one to pick, but vegetative patients and kids probably couldn't beat me to death.]
[E. Putting opinions into the suggestion box.]
[Does handing out charity breakfast at the orphanage entrance count, if it requires a signature from mom and dad to pick it up?]
……
Director Wang remained silent, tactfully cutting to the next question.
The screen kept scrolling. Once it finally stopped, everyone looked at the text and gasped in unison.
[Xiao Sese, why don't you just go die? ! ! !]
The other guests panicked, while Song Beichen and Shi Youran were thrilled.
Director Wang switched off his microphone and angrily scolded his assistant in a low voice: "What is going on?! Didn't your backstage crew screen this before putting it up?!"
The assistant looked equally helpless. "Director Wang, we tried our best to screen everything, but there were simply too many comments targeting Xiao Sese, and this one slipped through."
Director Wang wiped the sweat from his forehead, turned around, pressed his palms together, and gave Xiao Sese a slight, apologetic bow.
*Great-aunt, please just laugh it off and let it slide. For goodness sake, don't pull any crazy stunts on me!*
Xiao Sese gave Director Wang a meaningful look and remained silent, which thoroughly panicked Meng Lian standing off to the side.
This sister might look so sharp on the outside, but beneath that tough exterior surely beat a heart filled with helplessness!
Just as he was about to stand up and help Xiao Sese smooth things over, he saw the corners of her mouth curve upward into a rather pretty arc.
"Well asked! Cars are merely a means of transportation, houses are just temporary harbors, and the graveyard is the ultimate destination that brings true peace of mind.
It's only a matter of time for all of us, sooner or later, but let me offer you a word of advice: I am no straw boat, so stop shooting your arrows at me."
Director Wang let out a heavy sigh of relief. *Good, good. It's still a bit sharp, but at least the aggressiveness isn't too overwhelming.*
Meng Lian also breathed out a sigh. It seemed he had underestimated her after all.
However, the very next bullet comment made everyone's newly relaxed sphincters instantly tighten right back up.
[Xiao Sese, you backstabbed my beloved brother, forcing him to switch to another company, and now you're trying to cling to his popularity. Get the hell out of the entertainment industry!]
"Heh," Xiao Sese chuckled softly, her lovely dimples appearing and disappearing.
"Director Wang, don't say I didn't give you face!"
"Hey, wait, wait, wait……"
Before Director Wang could finish, Xiao Sese's machine gun started firing.
"Do you just have a pair of hanging eggs under your eyebrows that only know how to blink and can't actually see? Backstabbed your beloved brother? That's really like an old lady crawling into a quilt—you've tickling my funny bone, dude!
Brother this, brother that, all day long. What are you, a laying hen?
I'm wondering if your stomach hasn't been feeling well these past few days, and you accidentally shit out the brain that runs straight to your large intestine!
Also, I love strutting in and out of the entertainment industry as I please—is that any of your business?
Asking such low-IQ questions, does the donkey your family raises do nothing all day except kick you in the head?
How many dads do you have that give you the nerve to talk to me like that? If your mouth is that idle, go lick a toilet bowl instead of flapping your gums at me here!"
"……"
"……"
A dead silence fell over the surroundings, and Meng Lian's silence was simply deafening.
*Mom, just now…… I think I saw a Gatling gun spitting blue flames~*
The *I Have My Young* Weibo square exploded once again!
#XiaoSeseMachineGun#
#InternetLivingPizza#
#XiaoSeseRoastQuotes#
Director Wang didn't dare push it anymore; he was cowed. The only reason the livestream hadn't been banned yet was because Xiao Sese cursed without using actual dirty words.
Left with no choice, he could only order the staff to block all of Xiao Sese's interactions entirely.
Without Xiao Sese's mad antics, the subsequent interactions felt rather bland.
It was either "Shushu, darling, let's cuddle," "Meng Lian's new drama spoilers," or the brainless, adulating fans of Song Beichen and Shi Youran.
[Youoran baby, do you have any expectations for participating in this show?]
Shi Youran tucked her long hair, ruffled by the north wind, behind her ear and smiled brightly at the camera.
"I hope to let everyone understand me better while also becoming good friends with all the teachers."
Xiao Sese: "That's a bit difficult, though. My mom doesn't let me play with idiots."
The perpetually polite smile on Shi Youran's face cracked bit by bit, and she turned a grievance-filled gaze toward Xiao Sese.
"Sister Xiao, no matter what, I used to be an artist under your agency. Even though I was only with you for a little over a year, I've always respected you.
Because of various reasons before, neither Beichen nor I had many opportunities. Now that we finally get to be on a variety show, I just hope we can record it smoothly."
Shi Youran kept twisting the hem of her pure white dress with her hands, looking wronged no matter how you looked at it.
[Xiao Trash is so disgusting! The moment people stop insulting you, you climb right up on their noses.]
[You're arrogant and conceited when you go on a show, and daring to bully Youoran means your days are numbered.]
[Did you guys notice? For a long time now, we haven't seen a single question about Xiao Sese.]
[Probably scared of getting scolded, and who knows how she bribed the director anyway. When you look at it this way, how is she, a mere manager, even qualified to be on a variety show? Could it be……]
[The person above has hit the nail on the head.]
Xiao Sese stared at Shi Youran's tearful expression and heavily sniffed her nose a couple of times.
"I smell the scent of Pre-Qingming Longjing tea."
"What do you mean?" Shi Youran's eyes turned red. "Sister Xiao, did I offend you somewhere?"
Xiao Sese: "I don't mean anything by it, except that you must be very good at cooking. I can see you're quite skilled at adding fuel to the fire and passing the buck in record time."
Having been roasted a few times, Shi Youran's expression grew even more aggrieved.
"Sister Xiao, I admit I'm not in a great mood right now, and what I said might have been a bit heavy, but when you talk to me like that, it really hurts my feelings."
"On on on," Xiao Sese wagged her index finger.
"You're not in a bad mood, you're just in a bad market position."
Xiao Sese crossed her legs. "What's the matter? Did you forget that because you were too dull, the director got so angry he cut your scenes from twelve episodes down to one and a half?"
Hearing her directly expose her old background, Shi Youran's face completely collapsed, and she fired back with even greater resentment:
"What about Beichen, then? Clearly, with his qualifications, he could have signed with a better company, but you stubbornly forced him to stay with you under the excuse that the two of you debuted at the same time……"
"Youoran, stop talking!" Song Beichen interrupted her with a dark expression. In case Xiao Sese went completely crazy and exposed their romantic relationship on air, his public persona would be completely ruined.
"What? Did I say something wrong?" Shi Youran continued willfully, "She's slandering you so badly, I just can't stand by and watch."
Xiao Sese laughed out of anger: "You praise the meat for being delicious while you're eating it, but the moment you put down your chopsticks, you curse the bowl for being dirty.
When Song Beichen signs with another company, he only gets to split resources with others. But with me, I give him everything!
So please get your facts straight: *he* was the one who *insisted* on being *signed* by *me*!"
The rest of the people listened to the two of them firing retorts back and forth from left to right, their heads swinging side to side as if they were watching a table tennis match.
At this point, nobody was eating their food, and nobody was answering questions; everyone was just standing around watching the show.
Seeing that things were going sideways, Director Wang hurriedly stepped in to smooth things over.
"Alright, alright, congratulations to everyone for winning all the hidden dishes. Next, please enjoy the fruits of your victory."
The seven people in the room said nothing more and silently began to eat, but the bullet comments didn't stop for even a second.
[Is Xiao Sese okay?! How did our Youoran provoke her!]
[Mad dogs are just like that, snapping blindly at whoever they see.]
[Just listen to Director Wang's voice! He's practically falling apart!]
[Can Xiao Sese stop stirring up trouble!]
In the end, this segment quietly concluded amidst dead silence.
Finally, Director Wang announced the ranking results. Whether measured by completion rate or popularity, Xiao Sese was the undisputed first place.
Following closely behind were Song Beichen, Shi Youran, Guan Ying, Wang Lian, Li Shuer, and Meng Lian.
Xiao Sese didn't care about empty pleasantries; she specialized in sweeping away morality to reclaim her true self, and directly chose the best single room with a terrace.
However, the production team didn't dare go too overboard either; Meng Lian, who ranked last, was also assigned a clean and tidy single room in a villager's home.
(P.S.: There's an Easter egg in the author's notes~)