Waking up, Gu Qiu felt as if his head were about to split open with pain.
The dream from last night had not gradually faded away; instead, it poured into his mind as if it were actual memory.
"Ah... Seriously... what the hell..."
He rubbed his throbbing temples, unable to hold back a curse.
That dream had completely shattered Gu Qiu's worldview.
Not to mention the contents of it.
Clearly, he had been as lucid in the dream as if he were watching a movie, yet upon waking up he felt no fatigue at all. And even if he wasn't tired, why was his head pounding as if that dream had settled into his brain as a permanent memory?
What on earth...
Out of pure habit, Gu Qiu grabbed his phone.
"What the hell?! It's ten o'clock?!?!"
That was when he remembered he had an early morning class today, and those bastards in his dorm hadn't shown an ounce of brotherly love by waking him up—they had just slipped away on their own.
Who knew if they had even answered to the roll call for him.
Panicking, Gu Qiu scrambled into his shirt and pants, tumbling and crawling out of the dorm room with zero dignity left.
This is bad, this is bad...
As he sprinted toward the teaching building, he cursed the previous night's dream relentlessly in his heart.
Because of that dream, he hadn't heard his pre-set alarm at all this morning, landing him in this miserable situation.
His strong survival instinct kicked in. Gu Qiu took less than seven minutes to wake up, get dressed, and reach the classroom, all in one smooth motion.
Gu Qiu sneaked in through the back door and slipped into the back row, instantly spotting his dorm mates sitting there with their heads bowed over their phones, looking thoroughly relaxed.
Panting heavily, he collapsed completely exhausted into an empty chair beside him, turned his head toward Chen Chanbing, and asked through clenched teeth:
"You guys are really... unbelievable. Why didn't you wake me up?"
Seeing Gu Qiu arrive late, the other just shrugged and said with an entirely innocent expression: "Don't even start. Do you have any idea how exhausted you were yesterday? The three of us poked and prodded you every which way, but we couldn't wake you up no matter what. We only left because we were about to be late ourselves."
Meeting Gu Qiu's suspicious gaze, the other two nodded very earnestly as well.
"We really did try to wake you. If we're lying, we're your sons."
Fine, with oaths like that flying around, it had to be the truth.
Hearing this, Gu Qiu immediately believed his three roommates.
"Then did you guys answer the roll call for me?"
"Obviously, I covered for you."
Lin Fan patted his chest, putting on a righteous display.
Phew... So he was marked present after all...
Gu Qiu breathed a sigh of relief.
He definitely didn't want to fail a course and miss out on taking exams just because of oversleeping once.
For a diligent college student like him, the most terrifying thing in the world was failing a class.
Just as Gu Qiu let out that breath and reached for his phone to check for any unread messages, a familiar voice rang in his ear:
"Hi~ Little guy, long time no see~!"
"Agh, cough, cough, cough..."
The sudden voice startled him so badly that he choked on his own saliva, coughing repeatedly. Gu Qiu turned his head, only to discover that the person sitting right beside him was none other than Su Jiuyue, wearing a JK uniform and a high ponytail.
"We literally saw each other yesterday, okay?! And what is up with these clothes you're wearing?! No, wait, more importantly, why are you even here?!?!"
Before Gu Qiu could lower his voice and snap at Su Jiuyue, a sudden chill ran down his spine.
Though he wasn't sure if killing intent actually existed in the real world, Gu Qiu could feel with absolute certainty that something beside him posed a mortal threat to his life.
He turned his head the other way and found his dormitory roommates glaring at him with exceptionally "kind" expressions.
Chen Men pulled a utility knife from his trouser pocket, Lin Fan held a bundle of rope and packing tape, and Chen Chanbing was somehow holding a self-defense stun gun.
Are you guys characters from Doraemon or something, huh?!
How on earth did you pull all that out of your pockets?!
Gu Qiu's pupils contracted. He opened his mouth to explain, but Su Jiuyue beat him to the punch:
"Even if I don't see A-Qiu for a single second, I get so lonely~ As for this outfit... I figured A-Qiu might like the younger-girl look... so I dressed up a bit younger on purpose~ Besides, I'm a staff member at this school anyway, so pulling a few strings to get A-Qiu's class schedule was super easy~"
"Lonely after not seeing him for a single second?"
"A-Qiu likes younger girls?"
"What kind of relationship do you have? Why go out of your way to get his schedule?"
Hearing Su Jiuyue's words, Lin Fan and the others seemed to enter a trance-like state, staring blankly at Gu Qiu while veins bulged on their hands as they eagerly flexed their fingers.
"Confession brings leniency, resistance brings hardship—"
"Hey, hey... Why would you say something so easy to misunderstand?!"
Sensing that something was deeply wrong with his roommates' mental state, Gu Qiu repeatedly turned his head toward the smiling mastermind, demanding an explanation for her recent remarks.
"Aren't I just telling the truth? Why are you looking at me like that, A-Qiu?"
Hearing this, Gu Qiu felt as though his soul had left his body. He could only resign himself to being bound tightly by his roommates and dragged straight toward the back door—
"Pretty lady, we're borrowing your A-Qiu for a little while, kay? We'll return him to you after class..."
With a smile in the corners of his eyes, Lin Fan gave Gu Qiu a swift kick out the door while turning back to address Su Jiuyue, who was sitting near the entrance.
With a heart as dead as ashes, the thoroughly doomed Gu Qiu heard the heavily emphasized "your A-Qiu" in Lin Fan's parting words...
"Mhm~ No problem~ Older sister totally understands little squabbles between roommates~ Just don't break him, okay~?"
"You got it, Sis, don't worry!"
...
Soon enough, noon arrived.
In the university cafeteria.
Gu Qiu sat across from Su Jiuyue, staring with profound resentment at her lightly smiling, pretty face.
You have no idea... how badly those guys beat me up because of what you said..."
"I know~"
Su Jiuyue kept her smile and nodded.
"I followed you guys out shortly after you left~ Stood right outside the door of the men's restroom and listened for ages too~ You were screaming so miserably~"
"Can you please not say something like that with such a detached tone?!"
Gu Qiu was on the verge of tears. He could only channel all his grief and indignation into his appetite, shoveling the food into his mouth like a madman.
"Relax, relax~"
Su Jiuyue popped the last piece of braised pork belly from her tray into her mouth, chewed it gently, and swallowed. Then she gracefully pulled a napkin from her bag to wipe her lips, reached out, and gently patted Gu Qiu's head—
"As for your roommates, Big Sis will handle them~ They won't react so violently just because I come looking for you anymore~"
Hearing this, Gu Qiu froze.
He had lived with those three guys for three years and knew them inside and out. He knew very well that the three lifelong singletons viewed PDA couples as their mortal enemies, and now that he had been misunderstood because of some fox-like woman, how could those guys possibly let him off so easily?
The agonizing experience in the men's restroom this morning was merely a warning... Right now, they were probably lurking in some dark little corner, watching every single move he and Su Jiuyue made...
Feeling gazes as sharp as blades piercing into him, Gu Qiu couldn't help shivering.
"H-How are you going to handle them?"
Gu Qiu was completely out of options. If this woman kept clinging to him, those three guys were going to send him off for a one-stop VIP funeral package sooner or later.
"That's not something you need to worry your little head about~"
Su Jiuyue smiled brightly at Gu Qiu, gently rubbing her canvas-shoe-clad foot against his shin—
"I have my ways~"