Bingtang Xueli was not merely a wandering musician; he had lived in Canterlot for over a decade. His name was practically a household word among his peers there, though not for any glorious musical achievements, but rather...
For a reputation that was somewhat difficult to praise.
So when Bingtang Xueli recognized that the young pony before him was none other than Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s personal student, he felt a brief flicker of panic. What if his infamous reputation from Canterlot somehow followed him to Ponyville?
Yet, he quickly realized that Twilight Sparkle did not seem to recognize him at all.
Why, though, did he feel a tiny twinge of disappointment?
"Good afternoon, I am Twilight Sparkle."
Before Twilight could finish her sentence, Applejack had already stepped right up to her, shaking her hoof with such frantic speed that their hooves blurred in mid-air.
"Howdy there, Miss Twilight Sparkle, I'm downright thrilled to meet ya! I'm Applejack, and this here is Sweet Apple Acres. Do ya like makin' new friends?"
"Make friends? Actually, I..."
By now, Applejack had already pulled her hoof back, while Twilight's hoof was still swinging back and forth in empty air.
"Is there anything I can help you with?"
The purple baby dragon standing next to Twilight snickered as he reached out and gently steadied Twilight's hoof. Bingtang Xueli vaguely remembered this little dragon—Spike, was it? Though why did it sound so much like a dog's name?
"Hello there, the famous Miss Twilight Sparkle. I'm Bingtang Xueli, a fellow Canterlot pony myself. Pleased to meet you, truly."
Bingtang Xueli stepped forward to offer a greeting as well, but Twilight looked thoroughly bewildered by his reference to her fame.
"Oh, hello. But... famous for what?"
Realizing that she genuinely had no idea who he was, Bingtang Xueli finally let out a sigh of relief.
"Princess Celestia's personal student, the magical prodigy of the Gifted Unicorn School! Who knew you were so modest? My old man talked my ear off about how brilliant you were back home until I thought I'd go deaf."
His words left Twilight completely at a loss for what to do, looking rather awkward and flustered, while Applejack beamed with excitement.
"Princess Celestia's personal student?! Then don't you get to see Princess Celestia every single day? Could you tell me all about Princess Celestia?"
Sensing the sheer discomfort on Twilight Sparkle's face, Bingtang Xueli decided to throw her a lifeline. After all, they were technically from the same hometown—and when hometown folks meet away from home, tears of joy are practically guaranteed.
"Alright, alright, is it really proper to bombard the Princess's personal student with questions like that? Miss Twilight Sparkle's got a job to do here, folks, let's not hold her up."
"You've got a point there."
Applejack looked slightly disappointed, but Twilight let out a quiet sigh of relief and the smile returned to her face.
"That's right, I'm here to inspect the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. Are you two in charge of the banquet?"
"Sure are! You've come to the right ponies. Care for a little taste?"
"Alright, as long as it doesn't take too long..."
Hearing this, Applejack was wide awake in an instant. She dashed over to the dinner bell, rang it furiously, and bellowed at the top of her lungs:
"Come and get it, everyone!"
A deafening rumble of hooves echoed across the farm as Applejack's aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings came stampeding from every direction, sweeping Twilight and Spike right along with them toward the dining table.
Applejack proceeded to introduce each and every one of her relatives while piling a veritable mountain of apple treats onto the table. She even shoved a bright green apple straight into Twilight's mouth, and managed to wake Granny Smith up from her nap in the rocking chair.
"My, I reckon we're practically family already!" Applejack declared, throwing a hoof around Twilight's shoulders.
"Ah ha ha, right. Well, it looks like the banquet preparations are coming along wonderfully, so the two of us will be on our way now."
At those words, every single member of the Apple family wore an expression of profound disappointment.
"Not even stayin' for morning tea?" Apple Bloom asked, blinking her enormous, sparkling, cuteness-overflowing eyes so hard they could practically melt through steel plate.
"Sorry, we really have a lot of things to take care of."
"Oh..."
The young ponies of the Apple family all let out heartbroken sighs. Wanting to fit in, Bingtang Xueli mirrored their gloomy expressions precisely.
Facing a whole family of such deeply crestfallen ponies, Twilight could only sigh in defeat and compromise.
"Oh, alright."
"Yippee!"
Cheers erupted from Sweet Apple Acres and soared straight up into the clouds.
——Thirty minutes later——
Watching Twilight Sparkle waddle slowly away with a heavily bloated belly, Bingtang Xueli couldn't help bursting into laughter.
"She looks like she swallowed a whole litter of little apple babies, hahahahaha!"
Applejack roared with laughter right along with him.
Just then, Pinkie Pie popped out from some unknown nook and cranny, handing an invitation to both Applejack and Bingtang Xueli.
Bingtang Xueli still found Pinkie's stealthy, supernatural appearances rather difficult to get used to, but at least he no longer had to hide his potty mouth around her.
"What the f—, Pinkie, you scared the daylights out of me! Could you give a pony a heads-up next time you pop out of nowhere?"
"Sorry, Xueli, but I am just *so* excited today! There's a brand new pony in town! You know what, I just saw her—"
"Alright, alright, I get it. Going to the party, right? We'll be there. Don't you still have other ponies to invite? Go on now."
Bingtang Xueli cut short Pinkie's trademark rambling monologue—her long-winded speeches always gave him a headache. Pinkie didn't mind in the slightest, however; she simply told them the time and place before skipping happily away.
The sun slowly dipped below the horizon, the moon rose into the sky, and darkness fell. Bingtang Xueli and the rest of the gang were currently hiding inside the darkened, decorated library.
Bingtang Xueli couldn't help feeling that this didn't look like throwing a surprise party for Twilight Sparkle so much as staging an ambush.
Meanwhile, Applejack and the others were chatting about their encounter with Twilight earlier that day, and Fluttershy had quietly snuck in at some point as well.
At that moment, the library door swung open. Twilight Sparkle and Spike walked inside, seemingly talking about something, though Bingtang Xueli was too far away to catch it. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie flipped the lights on and leaped out.
"Surprise!"
Looking at the sheer panic plastered across Twilight Sparkle's face, Bingtang Xueli completely understood the feeling—he figured she would probably feel a lot better if she just screamed a hearty curse word right about now.
Pinkie bounced over and chattered nonstop at Twilight, whose face was a mask of utter resignation as she walked toward the table.
Then, Bingtang Xueli watched in absolute horror as Twilight poured herself a gigantic, overflowing mug of hot sauce and chugged the whole thing in one go.
Bingtang Xueli thought to himself in sheer admiration: *You've gotta hand it to Princess Celestia's personal student, she's got some serious grit. And look at that mane and tail turning completely into fire—holy mother of Celestia, what kind of crazy magic is that?*
"Look, she's crying tears of joy!" Pinkie chirped happily, stuffing a hot-sauce-drenched cupcake into her mouth. "What? These are actually delicious."
As Twilight bolted frantically up the stairs, Bingtang Xueli marveled that Twilight Sparkle's magical prowess really was as terrifying as the rumors claimed. He decided to take a bite of a cupcake himself, only for plumes of fire to instantly erupt from his own mouth and ears from the sheer, blistering spice.
Everyone had a wonderful time at Twilight Sparkle's welcome party, with the sole exception that Twilight herself never joined in. Spike went upstairs to call her down once, but she still refused to come out.
Bingtang Xueli struck up a conversation with Spike and discovered that the two of them actually hit it off remarkably well. Both shared a deep love for tabletop board games, and the pony and the dragon spent ages nerding out over the topic.
"Everyone get down to the town hall! Sunrise is almost here!"
Someone shouted at the top of their lungs, and the ponies quickly filed out of the library. Spike mentioned he needed to go fetch Twilight to watch the sunrise, waving a claw at Bingtang Xueli before scampering upstairs.
Inside the town hall, Bingtang Xueli had to admit that Rarity's aesthetic sense was truly exceptional; the venue was exquisitely decorated. Up on the stage, Fluttershy and her bird friends were all ready and waiting to sing.
Originally, the Mayor had intended to put Bingtang Xueli in charge of the musical entertainment, but he had flatly refused. He felt such a formal occasion didn't really suit his style, so he had recommended Fluttershy's avian choir to the Mayor instead.
A spotlight swept across the ground-floor podium as Mayor Mare launched into a long-winded speech. Finally, she proclaimed:
"And now, the ruler who safeguards our harmonious life in Equestria, Princess Celestia!"
The spotlight pivoted sharply toward the second-floor balcony. The birds began to sing, and Rarity yanked the pull-cord to draw the curtains open. The drapes parted, revealing—
An empty balcony.
Bingtang Xueli blinked in absolute bewilderment. He raised his head to scan his surroundings; the other ponies wore identical expressions of confusion, Pinkie excitedly declared that she loved riddles the most, while Twilight wore a look of deep worry.
Instantly, a heavy sense of foreboding took root in his heart.
"The Princess is missing!"
Rarity's terrified shriek echoed from the second floor, and panic erupted among the ponies below.
Just as Bingtang Xueli was trying to process what was happening, Pinkie let out a loud gasp and pointed a hoof toward the second-floor balcony.
Following the direction of her hoof, a swirling mass of dark blue smoke drifted in from outside the window and gathered on the balcony. The mist slowly coalesced into shape, revealing an alicorn with a pitch-black coat and a mane and tail that rippled and drifted like a starry nebula.
"Nightmare Moon!"
Twilight's shout rang out from nearby, and Bingtang Xueli instantly recognized the lunar enchantress he had only ever heard of in legends.
"My beloved subjects, it has been so long since I last gazed upon your little smiling faces!"
As Nightmare Moon spoke, most of the surrounding ponies shivered with terror, but Rainbow Dash bravely stepped forward.
"What did you do with our Princess?!"
She bellowed and charged forward, only to be yanked to a halt by Applejack, who had clamped her teeth firmly onto Rainbow's tail.
Nightmare Moon chuckled at the sight.
"What's this? Is having me as your princess not enough? Do none of you even recognize me?"
After Pinkie rattled off a series of wildly incorrect guesses, Nightmare Moon looked thoroughly annoyed and demanded to know if truly not a single pony remembered the ancient prophecy.
At that exact moment, Bingtang Xueli stepped forward.
Slinging his guitar case over his back, he walked right up to the base of the balcony beneath Nightmare Moon and spoke with the utmost, unctuous devotion:
"This humble pony knows, oh great Nightmare Moon! You shall usher in an eternal and glorious night for all Equestria!"
With that, he dropped into a flawlessly executed, deeply respectful courtly bow before Nightmare Moon.
The surrounding ponies were utterly stunned, frozen in place. Rainbow Dash, in particular, looked as though she couldn't possibly believe her eyes.
Nightmare Moon, on the other hand, was utterly delighted. She fluttered down right in front of Bingtang Xueli and laughed heartily.
"Rise! I am exceedingly pleased. After a thousand years, to find a pony who still so adores the night—state your name!"
"This lowly one is Bingtang Xueli."
"Bingtang Xueli, is it? Very well, very well, I shall remember your name."
"For my humble and insignificant name to be remembered by the noble and mighty Nightmare Moon is truly the greatest honor of my three lifetimes!"
Bingtang Xueli's face radiated pure, unadulterated sincerity.
Watching this scene unfold, Rainbow Dash boiled over with rage.
"You traitor! You actually betrayed Princess Celestia! And to think I used to consider you a friend!"
She practically shrieked the words at Bingtang Xueli and lunged forward to attack him, but once again, Applejack caught her by the tail and hauled her back.
Applejack had been utterly shocked at first, but then she caught sight of Bingtang Xueli's expression—that look of pure, earnest sincerity was the exact same face he had pulled when he tried to convince her that Winona had eaten a whole refrigerator's worth of chocolate. Moreover, she knew her cousin wasn't the sort of pony to genuinely turn traitor, so she decided to sit back and see how this played out.
"Wonderful, simply wonderful! Once I take over Equestria, positions of high power and endless wealth shall all be yours!"
"This humble servant is lowly and base; compared to your magnificent moonlit sky, I am merely the fleeting glow of decaying grass. To serve the celestial moon is already the greatest of fortunes; how could I ever dare ask Your Majesty for rewards? Being able to serve you is reward enough in itself!"
Hearing this sycophantic speech, Nightmare Moon grinned from ear to ear, flapping her wings in absolute delight.
"Though, I do dare to ask one bold question: where is Princess Celestia at present? If she is not properly dealt with, she might pose a threat to your glorious rule."
Seeing such unwavering loyalty, Nightmare Moon deemed the question entirely reasonable and deigned to clear up his doubts.
"Have no concern, she has been banished to the sun! There is not the slightest possibility of her escape."
"Then this humble one is all the more reassured! None shall ever shake your divine rule! Under your magnificent eternal night, Equestria shall flourish beyond compare! Just thinking about how this wondrous night will last forever fills my heart with boundless joy. If not for fear that my crude voice might offend your noble ears, this humble pony would dearly love to compose and sing a song for you and your glorious night!"
Nightmare Moon roared with laughter, waving a hoof dismissively.
"No matter! Your sentiment alone pleases me greatly!"
Hearing this, Bingtang Xueli unslung the guitar from his back and began tuning the strings.
"Oh, by the way, noble Nightmare Moon—have you eaten yet?"
Bingtang Xueli suddenly asked. Nightmare Moon was momentarily thrown off by the bizarre question, but she still replied to her most loyal subject.
"You speak of dining? I have yet to partake in a meal since my return from the moon."
"Ah~ you haven't eaten yet?"
His hooves abruptly stopped moving across the strings.
"Then *fucking* taste my Equestrian Guillotine!"
Bingtang Xueli roared at the top of his lungs and suddenly exploded into motion. Flipping upside down, he gripped the headstock of his guitar with his front hooves, pushed off powerfully with his hind legs to vault into the air, and smashed the body of the guitar with all his might directly toward Nightmare Moon's head.