There is a certain type of artist who always struts around with an air of arrogance, looking down their hooves and considering themselves a cut above everyone else. They treat everything outside of their so-called art with utter indifference, and harbor a deep disdain for agricultural ponies, whom they view as mere dirt-kickers.
Bingtang Xueli did not share this view. Although he had never done farm work before, he had always respected these hardworking ponies. He understood the toll their labor took and was grateful that they provided everyone with food.
Especially today.
"Hurry up, Xueli! Why are you moving slower than a turtle?"
"I'm—phew—phew—I'm already—phew—phew—going as fast as I can!"
At Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, and Bingtang Xueli were hauling baskets of apples toward the barn on their backs. Spike sat atop Twilight's back, tossing out subpar apples, while Bingtang Xueli had already fallen dozens of paces behind the other two.
Seeing Bingtang Xueli looking as though he might drop dead on the spot at any second, Applejack began to wonder if asking him to help had been a wise decision.
"You're carrying the exact same load as Twilight, and she's even carrying Spike on top of that!"
Eventually, Bingtang Xueli managed to catch up with them through sheer effort. Watching Applejack carry two massive baskets of apples so effortlessly that she could even do a little hop, Bingtang Xueli could only sigh that comparisons are odious and ponies are not created equal.
"Twilight is a genius unicorn with powerful magic, whereas I am just a pitiful musical pony."
Twilight flushed slightly at the praise.
"Never mind him, Twilight. Anyway, thank you so much for coming to help me out. I made a bet with Big Macintosh that we'd have all the apples in the barn before lunch. If I win, he has to wear Granny Smith's dress and take a stroll through town!"
With that, Applejack let out a cheerful laugh.
However, Bingtang Xueli suspected there was more to this bet than met the eye. Was Big Macintosh just looking for an excuse to cross-dress and using this as a pretext?
If so, he would definitely have to ask Rarity to step in and properly fulfill that wish for him.
"You're welcome, Applejack. Good thing you said before lunch, or my stomach would be completely empty."
"You said it," Spike agreed, promptly lobbing an apple at Twilight's head.
"Oh, come off it, Spike. You've been riding on my back the whole time and haven't done a single thing."
"I beg to differ," Bingtang Xueli immediately stepped in to speak up for Spike. "Isn't Spike working hard right here, picking out the good apples? So, Applejack, next time I should just lie on your back and help you pick apples too."
"Well then, I truly thank your ancestors down to the eighteenth generation."
"What kind of talk is that, Applejack? You and I go back to the same ancestors."
Just as the siblings were bickering and Twilight was wondering whether she should intervene, her stomach spoke up first.
*Rumble~*
"Hahaha," Twilight gave an embarrassed chuckle. "How about we grab something to eat first?"
At that moment, Spike pulled an exceptionally red, perfect apple from the pile. Just as he was about to take a bite, Bingtang Xueli lunged forward and bit off half of the big apple in a single chomp.
"Hahaha! First come, first served!"
Just as Spike was preparing to sharply criticize this bandit-like behavior, a burp suddenly rose in his throat, followed by a burst of dragon fire that shot from his mouth. The recoil knocked Spike right off Twilight's back.
Bingtang Xueli, being the closest to him, took the brunt of it. A few patches of his mane were singed, his face was charred black, and a scroll was stuck fast to his cheek.
"What the hell! I just stole your apple, there's no need to flame me! And what on earth is this?"
"It's a letter from Princess Celestia."
Spike pulled the scroll off Bingtang Xueli's face and began to read it aloud.
It turned out that Princess Celestia was inviting Twilight to bring a guest pony to the Grand Galloping Gala.
Applejack and Twilight leaped for joy, while Bingtang Xueli wore a look of utter contempt.
Why would anyone want to go to a boring gala full of superficial showmanship and hollow pleasantries among nobles?
Just as he opened his mouth to tell these two ponies, who had begun spinning around in delight, that the Grand Galloping Gala was actually completely pointless, another flash of light occurred. Two golden tickets suddenly materialized and *slap*—stuck straight to his mouth.
Did Princess Celestia's teleportation glitch? Why did it stick directly to his lips?
Bingtang Xueli suddenly felt something was amiss. Twilight had a total of seven friends including herself, and counting Spike, that should make eight tickets sent over, right? With the Princess's boundless wisdom, meticulous planning, and immense mercy, surely she wouldn't fail to let Twilight bring all her friends to the gala? Why send only two? Could there be some hidden story behind this?
Bingtang Xueli had already been suspicious. That library had just been finished this year—what kind of library comes equipped with living quarters? And the timing of Twilight's arrival... could this all be part of Princess Celestia's grand plan to nurture Twilight?
Therefore, he decided to shut his mouth and wait to see how things unfolded.
Twilight used magic to lift the tickets off Bingtang Xueli's face, looking utterly thrilled.
"Oh! This is wonderful! I've never been before. What about you, Spike?"
"Nope, I've got no plans to attend. I couldn't care less about fancy galas like that."
"Oh, come on, Spike. The gala is wonderful. By the way, Xueli, you're a Canterlot pony too—have you ever been?"
"Huh? What? Ah? Me? Look at this apple, it is seriously the most damn apple-y apple that ever appled."
Roused abruptly from his deep contemplation, Bingtang Xueli dared not speak carelessly, so he could only babble nonsense.
Watching Bingtang Xueli suddenly develop such an intense passion for a single apple, Twilight's eyelid twitched. She really had no defense against his periodic outbursts of gibberish.
"Wonderful? That's not just wonderful, that's incredible!"
Applejack bounced with excitement and began laying out her grand plan for what she would do if she could go to the Grand Galloping Gala: sell all kinds of apple products to make a fortune, put a new roof on the house, buy Big Macintosh a new plow, and get Granny Smith a comfortable pair of legs.
How one went about getting Granny Smith a new pair of legs, Bingtang Xueli did not know, but he knew Applejack's dream was bound to fall through.
Those brain-dead nobles wouldn't even spare a glance at delicious, affordable, yet slightly rustic apple pastries. By comparison, whatever unidentifiable slop came out of those multi-star restaurants served on a fancy plate was what they really wanted.
That said, Bingtang Xueli thought Applejack's desire to provide for her family was genuinely touching. Aside from Granny Smith's new legs, he could probably handle getting everything else on her list. But knowing Applejack's personality, she would never accept gifts from him for free. Ah well, he would just save them and present them as Hearth's Warming gifts.
"Sigh, I'd do anything just to go."
Faced with Applejack's lament, Twilight happily stepped over to invite her, but a blue blur came hurtling down... and crashed right into Bingtang Xueli.
"Xueli, thanks for breaking my fall! Hey! Were you guys just talking about the Grand Galloping Gala?!"
"Rainbow Dash! You are so damn doing this on purpose!"
The newcomer was indeed Rainbow Dash. She had been taking a nap in a tree and happened to overhear Twilight and Applejack's conversation, and in her excitement, she had fallen right out.
She hopped off Bingtang Xueli and eagerly rushed over to tell Twilight what she planned to do if she could go to the gala.
Listening to Rainbow Dash describe the stunts she intended to perform in front of the Wonderbolts, Bingtang Xueli thought to himself that while he wasn't sure if the Wonderbolts would be impressed by her moves, he was entirely certain that if Rainbow Dash body-slammed him a few more times, his physique definitely wouldn't survive.
And Rainbow Dash, you really are amazingly durable. How do you look completely fine after a drop like that? I, Bingtang Xueli, hereby declare you the reigning crash-test champion of Equestria.
Bingtang Xueli crawled out of the imprint he had left in the ground, looked at his coat caked in apple juice and dust, and sighed helplessly. On the bright side, at least he wouldn't have to carry any more apples.
By this point, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were already arguing with blue faces and orange necks over who deserved to accompany Twilight to the gala.
Twilight wore an expression of sheer agony, clearly torn right down the middle.
At that moment, Bingtang Xueli felt he finally understood Princess Celestia's intentions.
Eventually, Twilight excused herself by claiming her stomach was rumbling too loudly for her to think, leaving behind Applejack and Rainbow Dash—who had started arm-wrestling—along with Bingtang Xueli, whose face was a picture of utter misery.
Watching the intense showdown between Rainbow Dash and Applejack, Bingtang Xueli opened his mouth as if to say something, but ultimately just shook his head, hoisted the remaining baskets of apples onto his back, and slowly trundled home.
After exerting every ounce of strength to haul all the apples into the barn, Bingtang Xueli took a bath and emerged feeling thoroughly refreshed. Having eaten lunch with Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith, and seeing that the rain outside had stopped, he decided to take his violin into town to play some tunes and unwind.
As it turned out, what he saw upon arriving gave him the shock of his life.
The entire town of Ponyville was in utter chaos. Ponies were running around in a frantic panic. Who cared about the Grand Galloping Gala anymore? Ponyville itself was a galloping gala of mass hysteria.
Bingtang Xueli was completely bewildered. What on earth was going on? Had Grogar been resurrected, or had the Snow Ponies returned?
Reaching out a hoof to grab a panicked pony as he dashed past, Bingtang Xueli finally learned the truth through questioning: the news that Twilight could bring a guest to the Grand Galloping Gala had spread across the entire town, and everyone was scrambling to suck up to Twilight.
Tossing the pony aside with a flick of his hoof, Bingtang Xueli knew what he had to do.
Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle was hiding in the corner of a narrow alleyway, her face etched with profound distress. This whole ordeal had completely scrambled her brains; she had no idea what to do.
Just as her mind was swirling into a complete mush, a hoof suddenly patted her shoulder.
"Hey, Twilight."
"Agh!"
Twilight shrieked, leaped into the air, and delivered a resounding right hook to the pony behind her.
Only then did she realize it was Bingtang Xueli.
"Uh, sorry. Bingtang Xueli, are you okay?"
"I'm fine. That hurt a lot less than Nightmare Moon."
Bingtang Xueli rubbed his cheek and sighed helplessly.
That only made Twilight panic further.
"You're not here for the tickets too, are you? I'm sorry, but I really can't—"
"Stop, stop, stop, hold right there. I don't want to go to that damn gala at all. I just came over to ask what on earth is going on with you?"
Hearing this, Twilight relaxed slightly. She let out a heavy sigh and began to speak.
"I don't know, I can't make a choice. They're all my friends, I don't want to let any of them down. But I only have two tickets! Even if I don't go myself, there's no way to let them all go. They're all my best friends, I just want them all to be happy, but I can't do it!"
As she spoke, Twilight broke down, shouting in anguish as she buried her head in her hooves and collapsed onto the ground.
Bingtang Xueli walked over slowly and helped her up.
"Leave it to me."
Twilight Sparkle stared at him wide-eyed. He flashed her a brilliant smile—the exact same expression he had worn that day outside the Everfree Forest when he told her about the importance of friendship.
At that moment, Fluttershy was searching everywhere for Twilight when suddenly everything went dark. She felt herself being slipped into a burlap sack, trembling with fear, too terrified to move or make a single sound. Then she felt herself hoisted onto a pony's back.
After a bumpy ride, Fluttershy felt herself being placed onto a chair, the sack was pulled off, and light flooded back into her vision.
She was sitting on a chair in a dimly lit shack, facing a round table. To her absolute shock, seated around the table were all of her best friends, save for Twilight.
Judging by their ruffled manes—though Pinkie Pie's mane was naturally ruffled—it was obvious they had all been bagged and hauled here the exact same way. Bingtang Xueli's mane, however, looked exceptionally disheveled.
"Ooh, ooh! Were we kidnapped? How exciting! Are we supposed to play a dangerous game to escape now? I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!"
Unlike Pinkie Pie's excitement, the other ponies were in a state of utter bewilderment. Naturally, except for Bingtang Xueli, who sat in total silence with a gloomy expression, though the black-and-blue bruises on his face somewhat ruined his attempts at looking imposing. Naturally, this whole stunt was his doing.
Don't let his stoic exterior fool you; Bingtang Xueli was dying inside. You guys have no idea how much effort it takes to capture the five of you. Fluttershy and Rarity were easy enough, but those other three put up a genuine fight! He had nearly been drop-kicked to death by Applejack, nearly carried off into the sky and dropped by Rainbow Dash, and the hardest of all was Pinkie Pie. He had to stuff her into three layers of sacks and keep his eyes glued to her the entire way here, terrified that if he blinked, she'd suddenly pop out from nowhere.
"We were kidnapped?! Oh dear, my poor mane!" Rarity gasped in horror as she smoothed down her fur.
Only Applejack saw right through it all, because she spotted the bruises on Bingtang Xueli's face—marks that looked suspiciously like the ones from her own kick.
"Xueli, you're the one who dragged us here, aren't you?"
"Spot on."
Bingtang Xueli spoke slowly, earning looks of sheer astonishment from the other ponies.
"This is not a joke!" Rainbow Dash shouted, hovering into the air. "I'm in a rush to go ask Twilight for tickets!"
She shouldn't have said that. Hearing those words pushed Bingtang Xueli past his breaking point. He slammed his hoof down onto the table with a deafening crash, and then—
"Ow, holy shit, that hurts!"
He immediately flopped back into his chair, blowing on his aching hoof.
The rest of the mares stared in stunned silence. Rainbow Dash froze mid-air. *Wait, why did he just inflict psychic and physical damage upon himself out of nowhere?*
Once his hoof finally recovered, Bingtang Xueli spoke again. Gone was the jokey demeanor from earlier; his face was dead serious.
"I brought you all here to talk about one thing: Twilight's tickets. I want to ask you all what you're thinking. Can't you see what kind of state you've driven Twilight into? Is this how friends are supposed to act? She was even willing to stay home herself just so you could all be happy, and how did you all repay that?"
At this, the ponies lowered their heads in shame.
"What are we? Are we friends? I get that you all really want to go to that damn gala, but driving Twilight to the edge over a stupid party—do you think that's what friends do? We are the Elements of Harmony, we represent the spirit of friendship, and forcing a friend to make a choice like this—is *that* the spirit of friendship?"
"Um... Xueli, you're not really an Element of Harmony."
"Shut up, Applejack, I wasn't asking you."
Bingtang Xueli shot Applejack a fierce glare before continuing his earnest speech, half-scolding and half-comforting them. The other mares finally realized their mistakes. After all, they had just lost their heads over the gala, and since their hearts were in the right place deep down, they all expressed a desire to go apologize to Twilight.
However, just as everyone was getting ready to leave and find Twilight to apologize, Fluttershy timidly raised a question.
"Um, if you just wanted to talk to us about this, why didn't you just come and tell us normally?"
Only then did everyone realize it, turning their gazes toward Bingtang Xueli.
Bingtang Xueli merely gave a gentle smile, then replied with serene detachment.
"Because this way is much more dramatic."
And then he got beaten up again.
Back at the Ponyville library, Twilight awaited her friends. After a flurry of heartfelt apologies, Twilight's smile returned in full bloom. She then had Spike write a letter and send both tickets back to the Princess.
Faced with Twilight's selfless gesture, the ponies were both astonished and deeply moved—especially Bingtang Xueli, who wore a look of profound gratification despite his face looking like a bruised pumpkin.
Suddenly, amidst a flash of light, eight golden tickets materialized in mid-air, leaving all the ponies overjoyed.
Although Bingtang Xueli had no desire to attend the damn gala, he figured since the Princess herself had extended the invitation, he might as well go. Who knew, maybe the gala had gotten interesting over the last couple of years? And to push it to the absolute limit—going with this bunch of friends definitely wouldn't be boring, right?
The ponies happily set off for a lavish feast, and thus, the day came to a perfectly rounded close.
Wait, did we forget something?
Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Big Macintosh stood in his room, staring intently at that floral dress, while a wig and several bottles of cosmetics sat on the table beside him.
"Yup."