Awestruck by the profound straw-manning skills displayed in that melodramatic essay, Li Youzhi closed Weibo and returned to his Douyin comment section.
Most of the followers on Li Youzhi's Douyin account were students from Agricultural University, and they knew the full story from beginning to end. Seeing the self-righteous princesses flooding in from Weibo to attack Li Youzhi unprovoked, they had stepped up to defend him one after another.
However, the sheer difference in numbers, combined with the princesses' talent for ignoring facts while riding high on moral superiority, made these explanations seem insignificant.
In less than half an hour, the comment sections of Li Youzhi's only two videos had been completely occupied by the princesses, turning them into virtual sewers.
Meanwhile, Room 413 of the Agricultural University women's dormitory.
"Susu... maybe we should just let it go? There are way too many people on the other side. They've posted hundreds of comments in twenty minutes, and there's only four of us. We can't win!"
In the top bunk, Tu Susu's roommate Han Duoduo made a grimace and pointed at the comment section on her phone screen.
The other three roommates also helplessly put down their phones, indicating they were truly powerless.
Seeing that her teammates couldn't possibly withstand this adverse current, Tu Susu, lying prone on her bed and holding her phone, wrinkled her nose.
"What's wrong with you guys? Whenever we play ranked games in the Canyon, I never see you surrender this fast when you're down 3 to 30!"
"This is different from playing a game! Their combat power is way too high, and they've got standard scripts for twisting everything. Your humble servant really doesn't know how to curse people out..."
"Yeah, yeah... going toe-to-toe with these extreme internet feminists is totally different from playing a game..."
Hearing this, Tu Susu, wearing a Sad Frog pajama hat, slowly raised her head and arched her delicate little brows.
"Isn't this way more fun than a game?"
Rolling straight up into a sitting position with her legs tucked under her, Tu Susu stuck out a finger. "This guy is so much fun! It's rare to find someone who takes advice so well and executes it with such high efficiency—he just does whatever suggestions people give him. Don't you guys feel like this has the appeal of a raising simulation game?"
"A raising simulation game?"
Her four roommates blinked in unison.
"When you put it like that, it really does sound kind of like it. Real-life raising?"
"Mmm, come to think of it, it does have a bit of that vibe from when I played Travel Frog a few years ago."
"Bingo!"
Seeing that her roommates had fallen right into her rhythm, Tu Susu snapped her fingers. "So, right now, someone is bullying our frog son, slandering him, humiliating him, and beating him down. What should we do?"
"What should we do?"
(⊙ω⊙)(⊙ω⊙)(⊙ω⊙)(⊙ω⊙)
After making eye contact with four pairs of clear yet foolish eyes in turn, Tu Susu lifted her chin.
"Naturally, we encourage him, comfort him, and tell him not to lose heart!"
(ˇˇ)/(ˇˇ)/(ˇˇ)/(ˇˇ)/
Hearing Tu Susu's "enlightenment," the four roommates, their maternal instincts thoroughly awakened, instantly filled with fighting spirit and picked up their phones again.
...
On the other side.
Li Youzhi, who was also holding his phone, took a deep breath.
Although the comment section had already been blown apart by the princesses, a few scattered comments popping up still made him feel that this world... was not completely devoid of beauty!
"Little bro, don't lose heart, you're already doing great. As long as you keep persisting, I believe you'll have your day of turnaround sooner or later!"
"You look much more energetic with the new haircut. Thumbs up! Keep it up!"
"Still room for improvement. The suit combination isn't very polished, probably because little bro is a bit heavy—you've even got a dowager's hump at the back of your neck, so you don't look very upright in a suit. Suggestion: little bro needs to lose weight!"
"That's right, little bro's height is actually not bad; looks like around 177 or 178 centimeters. If you can drop twenty pounds, clothes will probably look a lot better on you! Also, the suit you bought today looks way too cheap. A guy doesn't need to have tons of clothes, but whatever he wears, it's best not to look particularly tacky. Considering you're still a college student and your finances might not be that abundant, I suggest doing a part-time job normally to increase your income. Even though saying this sounds a bit worldly, a guy with money in his wallet and a guy with empty pockets have completely different auras. You don't need to have too much money, but you can't be so poor that you lose your self-confidence!"
Bip!
[Received suggestion (lose thirty pounds), difficulty 5 stars, can obtain a B-grade treasure chest upon completion]
[Received suggestion (find a part-time job), difficulty 2 stars, can obtain an F-grade treasure chest upon completion]
Seeing the two new suggestion entries refreshed in the system, Li Youzhi took a deep breath.
The aesthetic standards of this generation of netizens leave something to be desired, but what they're saying right now actually makes some sense!
For a man, what is the ultimate state?
Money in the pocket, good looks on the face, top-tier aura!
Right now, he was clearly in the negative on all three fronts, but elevating at least one of them first wasn't a bad strategy.
At this thought, Li Youzhi decided to accept these two suggestion missions.
He didn't take those cyber-bullying little princesses to heart. They were just a bunch of extreme, exquisitely selfish giant babies; wasting even a second on them would show his own immaturity.
To understand things, one must look at their essence. From the very first second he was cyber-bullied, he had already pinned this tab on Zhou Jingyao's account.
Little bitch, writing an essay to cyber-bully your Brother Zhi, huh?
Fine.
You play your game, I'll play mine. You make me uncomfortable online, Bro will make you socially dead in real life!
Whoever chickens out is a grandson!
Throwing his phone onto the desk, Li Youzhi charged into the bathroom, washing up and stripping off his clothes in one fluid motion.
Tonight he was going to sleep early and store up energy.
Starting tomorrow... part-time job, weight loss!
The next day, Li Youzhi got up bright and early.
Amidst a chorus of snoring in the men's dormitory, he quietly walked out.
Facing the wisps of morning sun at half-past six, he once again arrived at the pedestrian street by the back gate of the Agricultural University campus.
Before falling asleep last night, he had already straightened out his thoughts.
The two easiest suggestions to execute right now were finding a part-time job and losing weight, and these two things didn't actually conflict.
It was simply a matter of finding the hardest, most tiring part-time job that paid a bit more.
That way, he would earn money and lose weight at the same time.
Clinging to this idea, Li Youzhi quickly found a gig at an errand-running service near campus.
This delivery service wasn't large in scale; its main business was running errands from nearby shops to deliver orders to the Agricultural University dormitories.
There was no base salary, paid strictly per piece—three to five yuan per order—and the company even provided a little electric scooter. It was practically perfect!
After simply confirming the job duties with the manager and adding each other on WeChat, Li Youzhi went straight to work.
Before long, he received the first order of his part-time career.
"Student Xiaozhi, Nuannuan Breakfast Shop, deliver four takeout orders to the men's dormitory. Go on!"
"You got it!"
Hearing the manager's instruction, Li Youzhi immediately stood up, took the electric scooter keys, and walked out of the storefront.
Standing on the pedestrian street at past eight in the morning, not yet fully awakened, Li Youzhi took a deep breath of the turbid air mixed with automobile exhaust.
Then... from his carry-on bag, he took out a white hoodie, shook it out vigorously, and slipped it over his head.
The hoodie was utterly plain, even slightly yellowish due to being worn for too long.
However, the moment Li Youzhi put it on, it immediately caught the sideways glances of the few scattered pedestrians around.
Not for anything else, but because on the back of the hoodie, written in conspicuous red marker, were two grand lines of characters:
"Wise men do not fall into love's river, simps pay the price to be a giver!
Subservient dog beneath Zhou Jingyao's skirt, grinding bricks to recover life force..."