The next day, Ding Wei went to buy some wine and handed over the silver.
"Shopkeeper, two catties of wine, please."
The shopkeeper leaned forward, shielding his ear with his hand and tilting his head. "Didn't quite catch that. Say it again."
"..." Ding Wei was speechless.
He had never been to this shop before; could the shopkeeper be hard of hearing? So, he raised his voice and shouted, "Two catties of wine!"
The shopkeeper shouted back, "All right, four catties of wine."
"..." Ding Wei.
Damn it, this was a classic case of feigning deafness to force a sale. If they didn’t want to provide change, they should have just said so. To think these people were the true masters of overcharging and swindling customers.
Fine, four catties it is. He couldn't be bothered to argue; he’d just let the old eunuch have his fill.
When he returned to the courtyard, he saw a palace maid standing by the entrance from a distance.
"Little Ding, Noble Consort Zheng would like to see you."
"You mean the Noble Consort is calling for me?"
"Yes!"
"What does she want with me?"
"If she says she wants you, then you go. Why all the chatter?"
...
Ding Wei entered the sleeping quarters of Yikun Palace. Having interacted with Noble Consort Zheng a few times already, he felt more at ease.
"Your Ladyship, you called for me. Did you miss me?"
Noble Consort Zheng looked at his smirk and played along.
"Yes, I missed you. Did you miss me?"
"I did. I missed you terribly."
"How much did you miss me?"
Ding Wei shook his head, pretending to be a refined scholar. "There is a beauty, whom I saw and cannot forget; one day without her, and my longing is like madness."
Noble Consort Zheng giggled. "My, my! Who would have thought Little Ding was such a romantic talent!"
Damn, romantic talent? This was just to flatter a beauty; as long as you weren't the one feeling awkward, it was fine.
He let out a wicked grin. "Your Ladyship, let’s get to the point!"
"Oh my, why are you in such a hurry?"
Ding Wei thought to himself: How could I not be? You’re dressed so lightly—it’s too bold and far too sexy. Just staring at it isn't enough; I need to see if we can get down to business.
"Your Ladyship, I’m not in a hurry. I’m a respectable man."
Noble Consort Zheng giggled and poked his chest with her finger. "You, respectable? How is it I wasn't aware of that?"
My Lady, please don't poke around like that. With a poke like that, you make it seem as if this respectable man isn't actually respectable at all.
Though he wanted to go further, he was still a bit timid. Fear gripped his heart, yet he told himself he had to be bold. He couldn't just keep talking, or it would remain all talk and no action.
He gritted his teeth and mustered his courage. "Your Ladyship, then how do you know I’m not respectable?"
Noble Consort Zheng tilted her head, bit her lip, and tapped his forehead with her finger.
"Since when have you ever been honest and respectable when cleaning up your messes? Don't think I don't know."
Hey! You can't slander a respectable, good man like that. I went out of my way to clean up after you, and this is how you frame me?
Ding Wei put on a cheeky, ingratiating smile. "That was just an occasional slip of the hand, nothing more."
"Hmph!" Noble Consort Zheng turned away slightly, feigning anger. "My whole body is sore. Give me a massage."
He acted as if he were in a dilemma. "Your Ladyship, it’s broad daylight. Isn't this... a bit too much?"
Noble Consort Zheng curled her lip.
"I’m not feeling well. Day or night, when I call for you, you serve."
Those were your words, then.
Fine, let’s get on with it. If you want to have fun, we have plenty of time. If you want to play, we have plenty of opportunity.
Ding Wei was secretly delighted. A woman who looks like a flirt isn't necessarily a common courtesan; sometimes, she’s just a lonely woman trapped in the deep palace, like Noble Consort Zheng, starving for affection.
"Very well! I shall do my 'best' for you."
Noble Consort Zheng lay on the bed, hugging a pillow, her beautiful hips raised as she lay prone.
"Start, then!"
Ding Wei stared, dumbfounded.
"Your Ladyship, just like that?"
Noble Consort Zheng turned her head. "How else would it be?"
He chuckled. "I meant, could you, perhaps... take something off?"
Noble Consort Zheng laughed. "No, I’m afraid you’ll take advantage of me."
"..." Ding Wei.
After over an hour of hard labor, Noble Consort Zheng fell asleep in comfort. Ding Wei, unsatisfied, shook her awake.
"Your Ladyship, I’m an orphan, you’re a widow... we’re a man and a woman all alone. It’s so boring. Why don’t we play a game?"
Noble Consort Zheng asked lazily, "What kind of game?"
Ding Wei smirked. "Roleplay."
"What is roleplay?"
Ding Wei patiently explained, "I’ll play a bandit, and you play a passerby being robbed."
"Fine." Noble Consort Zheng climbed off the bed.
"Come on, get ready."
Ding Wei used his hand as a club, pointing it at her waist. "Stand still! This is a robbery!"
Noble Consort Zheng pretended to tremble and played along. "Are you robbing me of my money or my virtue?"
Taken aback by the question, he stammered, "I am... I... I..."
She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Oh, you can't even rob someone without stammering? How are you supposed to pull this off? Let’s do it again."
"Fine, let’s go again."
"Stand still! This is a robbery!"
"Are you robbing me of my money or my virtue?"
"Both, of course."
"Here." She handed him a banknote.
He took it, looked at it, and thought, *Wow, a banknote!* He tucked it away without hesitation.
She was stunned. *Is this bandit actually going to keep it?*
He tilted his head and gave a wicked grin. "Forgive me, it’s my first time robbing someone, and I’ve developed a roving eye. But don't be afraid—I’m a man of principles even in my mischief. I don't have much schooling, and I don't know fancy words, but I want to love you."
Noble Consort Zheng asked coyly, "And how do you intend to love me?"
"Through a performance, of course!"
"What kind of performance?"
"A romantic one!"
Noble Consort Zheng erupted in giggles. "Forgive me for losing my composure, but you’re so elegant even when you’re robbing me. This doesn't look like a robbery at all!"
Ding Wei put on a stern face. "Be serious! I’m about to get real with you!"
Noble Consort Zheng teased, "If you’ve got the guts, then do it. You think I’m scared of you?"
Ding Wei thought about it. Without fully knowing her intentions, he decided to douse the fire for now and not risk it.
"Your Ladyship, this isn't working; the play is dead. The show’s over, and we can’t continue."
"If you aren't going to rob me of my virtue, then the robbery ends at the money."
"Then let’s continue."
"All right, come on then."
"If you insist. Stand still, don't move! I’m robbing you of your virtue!"
"How are you going to do that?"
"Take off your clothes!"
"You come and do it."
"Your Ladyship, are you serious?"
"Heh heh heh! You wish, but even if I did, there's nothing you could do about it." She extended her long, beautiful leg and nudged him.
He shivered, held his breath, and pulled back. *Not now, not yet.*
"Your Ladyship, this doesn't seem quite right, does it?"
"I think it's perfectly fine; it's you who can't do anything about it. What are you going to do?" She continued to tease him with a smile.
My Lady, I can't do anything? Are you sure?
One day, when I finally can, I’ll make you weep and wail until heaven and earth ignore your cries. If you don't surrender and beg for mercy then, I won't let you go. You're driving me mad!