The poetry and martial arts competition between the Xia Dynasty and the Xin Dynasty is set to begin tomorrow.
Today.
Qiu Yao tracks down Ding Wei.
"Tomorrow at nine in the morning, be at the Fengtian Hall."
"What for?"
"To participate in the poetry duel against the visiting delegation from the Xin Dynasty."
"Me? Is that appropriate?"
"Whether it is or not, you must go. We cannot afford to lose this time, and we cannot afford to lose, period."
"Is it really that serious?"
"We are losing silver, territory, and people. What do you think?"
*Hiss!*
This wasn't just a poetry duel; it was a battle for their lives and the fate of the nation. He asked, bewildered, "Why me?"
"There was a last-minute change in the roster, and there's no time to vet anyone else. You are taking over."
"Has the list already been submitted?"
"The names of others have been submitted. You can just take the place of the person originally intended; the other side won't know."
"What is the format of the duel?"
"The Xin Dynasty is led by their great scholar, Wei Haohan."
"We lost last year, so this time it is their turn to set the topic first. It is a best-of-three, and the winner sets the next topic."
"The Xin Dynasty dares to challenge the scholars of the Xia Dynasty with only one great scholar, Wei Haohan?"
"No, their two princesses, Xincheng and Xinle, have also come. I hear they are formidable."
"And who is on our side?"
"Great scholar Li Wentong, Princess Yangxin, and you."
"Why not send another princess to face them?"
"Don't be ridiculous! The Emperor only has this one daughter; who else could he send?"
*Damn.* An only child!
Should he find a way to become a son-in-law? Oh, no—a prince consort!
"Oh, I see! Very well, I understand."
The next day.
The sun was high in the sky.
He was still in bed, lost in a steamy dream.
Qiu Yao arrived, frantic with anxiety. Seeing him still lolling in bed, her temper flared instantly. She began to scold him, red with fury:
"Rotten wood cannot be carved, and a wall of manure cannot be plastered! How can I even begin to scold you?"
Before he could even open his mouth to defend himself, she angrily demanded, "What time do you think it is? I told you nine o'clock at the Fengtian Hall!"
Nine o'clock? That was only nine in the morning.
He dragged himself up, rubbing his sleepy eyes. "What time is it now?"
Qiu Yao was so angry she felt like slapping him. "What time? It’s already started!"
*Ah!* No alarm clock, and he’d overslept! Sweat beaded on his forehead as he scrambled into his clothes.
"Why didn't you come to pick me up?"
"Pick up a corpse? You were supposed to get to the Fengtian Hall by nine on your own!"
"You didn't make that clear, how was I to know!"
...
Qiu Yao led Ding Wei, rushing through the side door of the Fengtian Hall.
He sat down next to a grim-looking Li Wentong.
Princess Yangxin was slumped over, tears welling in her eyes. Seeing the late-arriving Ding Wei, she looked up and shot him a fierce glare.
That look was enough to devour a man; it made Ding Wei tremble.
Are all princesses this temperamental? Please, don't eat me with your eyes.
She had fair skin, large eyes, and a delicate nose.
Noticing her glaring at him, his gaze shamelessly drifted to the parts of her figure a man would most enjoy looking at.
*Ouch!*
They were firm! And quite full!
They stood out so prominently they seemed ready to burst forth.
Had it already finished? He didn't understand the situation.
Looking was one thing, but he had a job to do. He leaned over and whispered to Li Wentong, "What’s the situation?"
Li Wentong looked displeased. Had the Empress not praised this man’s literary talent, he would have arranged for someone else to fill the spot, and he wouldn't be in such a passive position now. He replied sharply, "The Princess lost the first round. I am handling the second, and the opponent is currently formulating their topic."
The Xin Dynasty side whispered among themselves for a long while.
Princess Xincheng, having already won, maintained a triumphant smile, a stark contrast to the heartbroken Princess Yangxin.
Princess Xinle, looking entirely relaxed, stood up.
"The topic is: A couplet."
"The first line: 'Flowers in the courtyard begin to bloom!'"
"Begin. You have the time it takes to brew a cup of tea."
A cup of tea—ten minutes—to produce a couplet that both sides would find satisfying.
Upon hearing the first line, everyone on the Xia side exhaled in relief, smiles appearing on their faces.
The reason was simple: the first line was far too easy. It lacked any real challenge; it was a piece of cake, not worth mentioning.
If they all thought so, however, they were gravely mistaken.
As it turned out, Li Wentong had already written several responses in the short time allotted, but none satisfied him. He shook his head, brow furrowed, and continued to toil.
Ding Wei glanced at Li Wentong's drafts and gave a slight shake of his head.
Seeing time slipping away, he grabbed the paper and brush from the table, dashed off a line, and handed it to Li Wentong.
Li Wentong took it and was struck dumb.
Wild with joy and brimming with confidence, he stood up and smiled. "I believe everyone here has their own response in mind, but none of yours can compare to mine: 'Mr. Li of the Pavilion!'"
At first, upon hearing the second line, everyone froze.
But an instant later, the entire court erupted in laughter.
Princess Yangxin, who had been humiliated and crushed, finally broke into a smile.
Her peerless face now looked full of vitality.
Even Wei Haohan and the two princesses, Xincheng and Xinle, burst into laughter.
The Emperor slapped the table repeatedly, cheering. "Brilliant! Simply brilliant!"
Why was this response so clever?
Because every character in the second line corresponded to every character in the first.
For example, "courtyard" and "pavilion" are both buildings. "Flower" and "Li" (the surname) are both plants...
Reflecting on the couplet, it was indeed the height of wit and humor.
Just as everyone thought, the first line was quite simple and ordinary. But because of the second line, the first line now gained some luster of its own...
Just as Wei Haohan stood up to declare the Xia side the winner, the Grand Preceptor of the Xin Dynasty, sitting beside him, glared with his crafty, triangular eyes and forcefully pulled Wei Haohan back down.
Wei Haohan asked, confused, "Grand Preceptor, what are you doing?"
"Remember your objective..."
"But Grand Preceptor, we truly lost this round fair and square..."
Ding Wei asked Li Wentong suspiciously, "Who is that sharp-featured, shifty-looking alien-like person on their side?"
"That is the Grand Preceptor of the Xin Dynasty, a man through and through evil... He is the one who plots the annexing of other nations' land and shifts the blame for war onto innocent civilians. Even when they lose in poetry or martial arts, he always finds a way to renege..." Li Wentong provided some fragmented information.
Ding Wei asked in astonishment, "Is he really that evil? And that shameless?"
Li Wentong smiled bitterly. "That’s only the tip of the iceberg. People in other nations have long wished they could execute him."
The Xin Dynasty side was still locked in a heated discussion.
Finally, Wei Haohan sighed and reluctantly conceded, sitting back down in silence.
Princess Xinle stood up and said, "The Xia Dynasty’s response was precise and exquisite. We concede this round with absolute conviction; the Xia Dynasty wins. Please, set the next topic! However, our Grand Preceptor will be the one responding."
Ding Wei didn't understand why they were changing their lead at the last minute.
Could it be that this old codger was more formidable than their great scholar? Or did he know that the person representing the Xia side was a nameless eunuch?
Was the old man trying to steal the credit, or was there another purpose...?
As a Grand Preceptor at the Emperor's side, it was common enough to claim credit for oneself. As long as it wasn't a "blame-pot," a Grand Preceptor was always happy to scoop up any glory. Otherwise, how would they prove the worth of these divine-charlatans?
He asked Li Wentong, "I am posing as someone else for this duel—does that count?"
Li Wentong thought for a moment and replied, "Strictly speaking, no, but since they have changed their representative, we can simply clarify that we are changing ours."
After answering, Li Wentong stood up.
The afterglow of victory left him feeling smug. He cleared his throat. "In view of your substitution, we shall also make a substitution, as a gesture of respect."
Wei Haohan asked in surprise, "Brother Li, you are also changing to your Grand Preceptor?"