Entering the Imperial Palace.
The red walls were towering, several times higher than an ordinary house—so high that even if several people formed a human ladder, they would never be able to climb over. Inside the Imperial Palace, the architecture was resplendent with gold and jade, maintaining an air of sanctity and solemnity.
As soon as he stepped into the Imperial Palace, a chime rang out from the system.
【Ding! Congratulations to the host for entering the Imperial Palace! You have received ten Divine Strength Pills, ten taels of silver, and one copy of the "Turtle Speed Divine Art." Given that the host will face many inconveniences in the Imperial Palace, the system will now perform automated check-ins.】
"…This is?" Ding Wei muttered.
The Divine Strength Pills could strengthen the body. The silver, needless to say, could buy anything. But what in the world was this Turtle Speed Divine Art? Did it involve crawling on the ground like a turtle? Or perhaps it enhanced one's physical durability? Or was it something like the Tortoise and the Hare, focusing on endurance and speed?
The system offered no hints or explanations, but this automated check-in feature was incredibly convenient.
Upon entering the Imperial Palace, every newcomer was assigned an "old eunuch" as a mentor rather than being put straight to work serving the Empress or performing menial tasks. The mentor served as a guide, ensuring that newcomers didn't commit any offenses within the palace.
Oh, wait—rather, it was to ensure they didn't make any mistakes.
Ding Wei was led by Eunuch Chen to a small courtyard.Seeing Eunuch Chen and Ding Wei enter the courtyard, the old eunuch in the yard said in a shrill voice, "Oh! Are you trying to add to my burden again?"
Eunuch Chen laughed it off, saying, "Eunuch Li, this Little Ding is sharp. With your methods, it won’t take long to train him before you can send him to serve the masters and claim your reward."
Eunuch Li smiled and nodded.
After Eunuch Chen finished his introductions and left, Ding Wei sensibly picked up a broom to start sweeping the courtyard.
Eunuch Li’s face darkened, and his tone turned chilling, "Little Ding, slow down, and listen carefully! You cannot make mistakes in the Imperial Palace. Mistakes here cost lives."
Little Ding?
I’m dizzy. My "little ding" is actually quite aggressive and definitely not small.
Ding Wei nodded, "Yes, Master! I will remember that."
Seeing that he was sensible, Eunuch Li stared at him expressionlessly and asked, "What is the biggest taboo in the Imperial Palace?"
What is the biggest taboo? Of course, it’s not being allowed to touch the women of the palace. What else could it be?
Though that was what he thought, he absolutely could not say it out loud.Ding Wei gave it some serious thought, reflecting on plots he had seen in television dramas, and replied, "The most taboo thing is to overstep one's bounds and offend one's superiors."
Eunuch Li’s rigid face twitched, and an imperceptible smile flickered across it.
"It is good that you know. Remember, in the Imperial Palace:
Do not ask what should not be asked.
Do not look at what should not be seen.
Do not say what should not be said.
Only by acting the fool can you live longer."
Act the fool? Why would I go to such lengths to get into the Imperial Palace just to play the fool? Only a fool would choose to be a fool.
Although he thought this to himself, he still nodded. "I understand, Master."
Eunuch Li continued his nagging, "The rules of the palace cannot be taught in a short time. In this place, you must be sharp and rely on your own intuition. If there is something you don't understand, observe more and ask more."
While others took two months to learn the palace rules, Ding Wei mastered them in just over ten days. During these ten days, he had checked in every day and accumulated many things that did not exist in this world. Occasionally, he would go out to buy wine and snacks for Eunuch Li. As for where Ding Wei got the silver, Eunuch Li never cared or asked. In the eyes of every old eunuch, after teaching a young eunuch how to survive, it was only right to squeeze a little something out of him as a sign of filial piety.
Of course, every night, Ding Wei would also secretly practice the Turtle Speed Divine Art.
One day, Ding Wei was preparing to go out to buy wine and food again. As he passed a large courtyard, he saw a group of eunuchs kneeling on the ground, shivering. From a side room, sounds of a lash whipping and wailing drifted out.
Suddenly, the noise came to an abrupt halt.
Immediately after, several eunuchs carried out a bloody corpse. Ding Wei felt a chill run through him. It was all so bloody, so violent, so shocking.
Just as he stood there, rooted to the spot like a statue, lost in a daze, the White-robed Woman emerged, holding a whip in her hand. She spotted Ding Wei, who was still standing there blankly. Her almond-shaped eyes widened, and she pointed at him with the whip.
"You, come here!"
Me, go over there? Why? To get whipped and beaten? Why on earth did I have to stand here and watch this commotion?Before he could even begin to enjoy life, was he really about to be whipped to death?
He certainly couldn't let himself be whipped like that; if there was going to be any whipping, he should at least be the one initiating it—
though he was still terrified of her tyrannical might.
His legs felt as heavy as if they were filled with lead, and his body followed her forward involuntarily.
Once the two of them entered the house,
all the eunuchs kneeling on the ground slowly straightened up, touched their chests, and let out long sighs of relief.
Passing through one room after another, the interior grew increasingly spacious.
Before them lay a glittering world of radiant light, with carved beams and painted rafters.
Without even time for excessive appreciation and awe, Ding Wei asked tremblingly,
"Where are we going to be whipped?"
The woman stopped in her tracks, turned back, and snapped ungraciously,
"To give the Empress a bath! If you don't scrub well, you'll get whipped again~!"
A bath? Just a few days after entering the Imperial Palace, he had to give the Empress a bath?
And it required a man to scrub? Did men really scrub cleaner?
Though a eunuch was not a real man, he at least counted as half a man.
Not daring to ask too much, Ding Wei felt his heart relax a great deal.
Yet on second thought, that eunuch who had just been beaten to death—could it be that he hadn't scrubbed well enough?
The more he thought about it, the more terrified he grew, and he deliberately slowed his pace, preparing to make a run for it.
Noticing that he wasn't keeping up, the White-robed Woman turned her head and glared at him angrily, but before she could vent her fury,
he stammered,
"After the bath... will I be spared the whip? Will I survive?"
The White-robed Woman smiled with utter disdain.
"That depends on your performance!"
What the hell! In the Imperial Palace, was human life really as worthless as blades of grass?
A wave of bitter sorrow washed over him.
Not only did he have to provide physical labor, but people were constantly threatening execution and violence at every turn—how could anyone endure this?
Still, he had no choice in the matter. The White-robed Woman used the tip of her whip to prod his lower back, shoving him forward.
They crossed a great hall and turned a corner past a screen.
Inside, a thick mist swirled, and a delicate fragrance assailed the senses.
A host of palace maids stood waiting at a distance around a pool of white jade, holding dry towels.
In the massive pool, a woman with her back to Ding Wei had hair as dark as mist and clouds, and skin like jade. Her alabaster skin and the white jade of the pool rim set off each other's radiance.
Seeing this scene, Ding Wei was dumbstruck.
This... it was just like the Jade Pool in Journey to the West where the Chang'e of the Heavenly Palace bathed.
The mist was hazy!
The pool was hazy!
The figure was hazy!
"Your Majesty, I have brought him," the White-robed Woman said in a gentle tone, completely unlike the person from a moment ago.
"Mm. Strip him!" the woman in the pool said lazily, her voice brooking no argument.
"Yes!"
"..." Ding Wei turned pale with fright. He instinctively squeezed his legs together, terrified out of his wits.
This wasn't because he was thin-skinned, shy, or embarrassed, but simply because he couldn't possibly strip.
If he had known beforehand that he would be helping Her Majesty bathe, it wouldn't have been a problem—he could have hidden his true body and brought out the substitute puppet.
But right now, there was simply no opportunity for a switcheroo; if his deception were exposed, he would be beheaded on the spot.
What drove Ding Wei to utter despair was the multitude of palace maids still standing at a distance.
Just as Ding Wei was shivering, hesitating, and stalling for time while trying to think of a brilliant countermeasure,
the White-robed Woman gave a hand gesture.
Two palace maids lunged forward like fierce wolves and began savagely tearing at his clothes.
Seeing this momentum, Ding Wei waved his hands frantically to stop them.
"Wait, wait, wait! I'll do it myself."
The two maids paid him no heed, stripping away his outer garments in a flash.
Just as his undergarments were about to be ripped off as well, he cried out in frantic panic,
"Stop stripping! Any more and there won't be any hazy aesthetic left!"
Ding Wei's urgent roar
caused the place to fall instantly into a dead, tomb-like silence.
His heart began to pound heavily—*thump, thump, thump*—as if it were about to leap out of his throat.
At that moment, the Empress in the pool, who held the power of life and death over everyone, slowly turned her head.
Her slender eyebrows were like slight frowns of mist, and her eyes were like autumn pools—bright and clean.
They seemed like bottomless, secluded pools, gazing breathtakingly into Ding Wei's eyes.
Ding Wei was struck dumb with astonishment, his throat involuntarily bobbing as he swallowed a mouthful of saliva.