Huainan Marquis Estate, Qin Garden, the main room, east chamber.
Meng Qi’s eyes were wide open as she lay on the heated brick bed, which was kept comfortably warm.
She stared at the ceiling—or, to be more precise, at the bed canopy. The pink fabric was embroidered with golden flowers, along with small rabbits and puppies. To her surprise, she discovered a small deer on the canopy; she had never noticed it before.
Hearing the sound of the charcoal brazier being opened and replenished outside the canopy, she reached out a hand, wanting to touch one of the little rabbits. It was a bit too far away; she couldn't reach it.
Meng Qi looked at her fingernails, which were stained a light pink. Her fingers, smooth and delicate as spring onions, appeared healthy, flushed with color and luster. They were nothing like the gnarled, vein-popping twigs they had become during the three years she had been paralyzed.
She turned her hand over. There was no long scar on her right palm.
Meng Qi let out a long breath, confirming once again: this was the east chamber of the main room in Qin Garden, back before she was married.
Every time she closed her eyes, she was back there, standing by the lake in her undergarments, looking back in terror at a group of people dressed in finery. She saw a man in white kneeling before her husband, while a woman beside him spoke with a savage expression, pointing at her repeatedly.
She had stood by the lake, with only Mother Liu by her side, weeping softly. She had been freezing, her hair, sleeves, and pant hems dripping with water. It was lake water—acrid and foul. She could even clearly see strands of waterweed clinging to her skirt; the yellowish-green kind, like the weeds her third brother had once found for the little turtle she used to keep.
Her lips had trembled, and she could hear her own teeth chattering. Water flowed from her hair, and she didn't know if her tears were mixed in with it—it all tasted salty. Not far away, her husband had looked at her with eyes as cold as frost, just as he had through countless days and nights during their marriage.
Mother Liu had shaken as she tried to pull the outer robe she was holding toward Meng Qi to cover her, but the woman who had rushed over snatched it away. "Why cover her? Doesn't she like to undress for others to see? It would be more appropriate to strip her bare," she had spat, and then pulled violently at Meng Qi’s undergarment.
The man in white, who had just been kneeling on the ground, stood up and pulled the woman back. "Let it be, let it be. This is a private family matter; let’s go. It has nothing to do with us."
"How can you say it's just their business? If this gets out, how will you explain it? How will you hold your head up in the capital?" The woman’s eyes were bloodshot.
"Rest assured, there will be someone to explain it. This was never our fault to begin with, and with so many people watching, there will be witnesses."
The woman nodded, tucked securely into the man’s embrace. Just as they turned to leave, the man in white looked back at Meng Qi with a gaze full of contempt, disdain, and weary resignation. "I never imagined you were such a person. I told you time and again, yet you still... On such an important day, you actually dragged a man into the flower room. What? Did you mistake him for someone else? Or do you intend to accost every man you see in white today? Do you even have the energy for it?"
The woman raised her head and spat at her viciously. "Shameless! And to think you were born into a Marquis family. If I were you, I would never have climbed out of that lake."
She had simply stood there, watching the man in white support his wife as they took their leave. By then, the onlookers had long since vanished.
Only her husband, herself, and Mother Liu remained by the lake.
She looked up as her husband walked toward her. Even after such a monumental scandal, his face—which had remained emotionless for years—betrayed no change in temperament.
Meng Qi held her face taut, chin tilted up defiantly. The late autumn wind whipped past; her damp undergarment clung to her skin, feeling colder than the lake water itself.
"I didn't... I..." Seeing the look on his face, Meng Qi shrank into Mother Liu’s arms as she spoke. She had the distinct feeling that he wanted to kill her.
The man wore an expression of loss and disappointment. He quietly unfastened his own cloak and handed it to Mother Liu.
"You shouldn't have climbed out," he said. Then, looking up at the wild geese flying across the sky, he let out a self-deprecating laugh, which soon turned into a loud, booming guffaw.
Meng Qi was terrified. In the two years they had been married, she had never seen him laugh like that. He was a man who hid his emotions, someone whose joys and sorrows never showed on his face.
She shivered, unsure if it was from the cold or the fear, watching as he wiped the corner of his eye with his hand before turning and striding away.
Heart aching for her, Mother Liu draped the man’s cloak over her and helped her walk back. They hadn't gone far when two old servant women appeared, saying the master had summoned Mother Liu for questioning.
Mother Liu looked at Meng Qi with unease. Though she was worried, she knew it was vital to explain everything that had happened that day to him.
As the two servant women watched Mother Liu walk away, they grabbed Meng Qi, one on each side.
"You... what are you doing?"
"What are we doing? Didn't you just hear him? You shouldn't have climbed out."
Before Meng Qi could even react, she was thrust back into the lake. The freezing water swallowed her instantly. This time, unlike the first, it wasn't an accidental slip born of panic. The two women held her head down firmly. In moments, she felt as if she had been hollowed out, and then, she knew nothing more.
When she finally awoke, the people serving her were no longer the same. The unfamiliar woman told her that her limbs had been damaged by the frost, and that she could move nothing but her head.
And so, she lay there like a living corpse for three years, able to hear but unable to speak, from spring to summer, from autumn to winter.
She remained in her own courtyard, her main room, her east chamber—the place that symbolized the mistress of the house.
She had wanted to ask where Mother Liu had gone, but she couldn't speak. She allowed the servant woman to lift her hand and wipe it, listening to words she didn't want to hear but was forced to endure.
***
Meng Qi’s eyes were becoming strained and sore, yet she stubbornly refused to close them for a rest, fearing that if she did, she would return to that icy lake—the suffocating sensation of not being able to breathe.
"Is she still not awake?" Suxin whispered.
Lixia shook her head. "No movement. I don't dare lift the curtain to look."
Suxin sighed. "When I went to report to the Eldest Daughter-in-law just now, she wanted to come over, but the Second Young Lady stopped her."
"It’s a good thing the Second Young Lady was there. Seeing the Eldest Daughter-in-law’s state these past two days... it terrified me. Fortunately, the Fourth Young Lady has woken up."
Suxin glanced toward the bed. "If there’s no movement in another half-hour, go and call her. The effects of the sedative should be wearing off by then."
"What about Mother Liu?""I stayed up all night yesterday. Seeing that the Fourth Young Lady was doing fine today, I had her drink her calming decoction. She's likely still asleep at this hour."
"Quite right. Let her sleep a bit more; she's still young, after all. Ever since she returned from Shanzhitang, she hasn't left your side, keeping watch all night long."
Meng Qi listened quietly to the two maids' conversation. Her mind was in complete chaos. She dared not close her eyes, fearing that as soon as she did, she would see that icy lake again, along with the image of that person standing on the bank, watching it all with cold indifference, whom she had tried so desperately to make out through the freezing water.
She feared even more that if she closed her eyes, she would wake up to find the beautiful bed canopy gone and those familiar voices silenced. And then there was her mother—that face, so familiar and so full of life.
At the thought of this, tears streamed down Meng Qi's cheeks, dampening her pillowcase in moments. She had actually seen her mother again—the mother who had died young, dragged down by her own daughter's folly.
It wasn't until she woke up that day in the Shanzhitang of the Huainan Marquis Estate, feeling the warmth and strength of Madam Wang’s embrace, that she truly realized she was living another life. She didn't know how she had fallen into the ice, she didn't recognize the nervous-looking young girl following behind Madam Wang, and there was so much else she didn't understand.
But she had no time to worry about that. As long as her mother was still here, everything she had endured was worth it—yes, it was all worth it.
Suxin made a gesture for silence and walked slowly to the edge of the bed; she thought she heard sobbing.
"Fourth Young Lady, are you awake?"
Lixia followed her over, ready to lift the bed curtains, but was stopped by Suxin.
The two stood there in silence, listening to the distinct sobbing from within, followed by gasps and choking, and then, eventually, full-blown wailing.
"What has happened? What is the matter?"
Hearing these words, the two maids breathed a sigh of relief. They bowed to Meng Wan and explained, "Greetings, Second Young Lady. We were just about to check if the Fourth Young Lady had awakened, but we didn't expect to hear... We were just wondering what was going on when you arrived."
Meng Wan hurriedly lifted the bed curtains. Meng Qi turned her head toward the sunlight, squinting as a sharp pain stung her eyes.
Then, she saw her Second Sister looking at her with concern, reaching out to press a hand to her forehead. "What is it? Did you have a nightmare? Or are you not feeling well? Mother has the doctor staying in the outer courtyard these past few days; if you feel something is wrong, I will have them call him."
With that, she turned around and called for Chuan'er.
Meng Qi looked at this Second Sister, Meng Wan, whom she had only heard of in her mother's stories in her previous life. If she had truly been reborn, then it was correct to refer to everything before as her previous life, wasn't it?
Meng Wan had hurried into the room without even taking off her cloak, which was still flecked with the remnants of melting snow. Her features bore a five or six-part resemblance to Madam Wang, and she exuded a sense of vitality and spirit. Her speech was steady, methodical, and clear. In their brief interactions over the past few days, it was easy to see she was a generous, sensible, and tactful young woman.
Meng Qi wanted to open her mouth to say there was no need for a doctor, but the words felt stuck in her throat. She suddenly felt a surge of panic—would she be unable to speak, just as in her previous life?
At this thought, Meng Qi bolted upright, then let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, thank goodness—she could still move.
Having finished ordering her head maid, Chuan'er, to fetch the doctor, Meng Wan turned back to see Meng Qi patting herself up and down.
Meng Wan took Meng Qi’s hand. "Rest assured, the doctor said it was nothing serious. Although you plunged into that ice hole, it was only for a moment. Does your head still ache?"
Meng Qi shook her head. She tried to speak again, but her mouth felt bone-dry.Meng Wan walked to the table, poured a cup of water, and handed it to Meng Qi. Meng Qi drained it in one gulp, held out the empty cup, and said, "Pour me another."
Both sisters let out a sigh of relief at these words.
Meng Qi heard herself speaking and realized that, unlike in her previous life, she had not lost her voice.
Meng Wan, for her part, exhaled deeply. Ever since Meng Qi had woken up after falling into the ice, she hadn't said a word. No matter how much anyone questioned her, she would only shake her head or stare blankly into space.
The physician had been baffled as well. According to the two young maids who had been with her, Meng Qi had been pulled out of the water the instant she fell in; there was no reason for her to be in such a state.
Even more surprising was how, upon waking and seeing Madam Wang, Meng Qi had looked terrified, clinging to her mother and sobbing until she was breathless, as if she had suffered some unspeakable grievance.
And when Madam Wang had repeatedly brought up her "second sister," Meng Qi had looked at Meng Wan as if she were a total stranger, studying her from head to toe with profound curiosity.
After downing three cups of water, Meng Qi felt much better. As she moved to climb out of bed, she asked Meng Wan, "Where is Mother? Is she all right?"
Suxin hurried forward to help Meng Qi with her shoes. Meng Qi suddenly thought of Yuantong, who had always been the one to tend to such things for her.
Receiving no answer from Meng Wan, Meng Qi stood up and began pacing the room, moving back and forth in a way that made Meng Wan feel as if she were a child who had discovered a new game and was endlessly repeating it.
Meng Qi turned her head to look at Meng Wan. Meng Wan stood there, looking her up and down. The two sisters stared at each other, both silent, each seeing confusion and inquiry in the other's eyes.
"Um, Second Miss, should we go and inform the Lady of the Manor?"
After a long while, Suxin asked, emboldened. The atmosphere was too strange; why were they both acting as if they didn't know one another?
Although everyone knew the Fourth Miss had always been cool and distant toward the Second Miss who had returned halfway through her life, the only time they had stared at each other like this, without a word or expression, was when the Second Miss's identity had first been revealed.
Hearing this, Meng Wan realized they had been staring for a bit too long. She had no idea why Meng Qi was looking at her as if she had never seen her before and were trying to get to the bottom of some mystery.
She didn't care to analyze it, however. As long as this crazy girl was fine and Madam Wang wasn't being further agitated, that was all that mattered.
"Yes, go ahead," Meng Wan nodded.
Meng Qi said nothing to this, slowly walking over to the window. Through the glass, she saw Suxin heading out the courtyard gate, stopping to speak with Chuan'er, who was arriving with the physician.
"Mother is fine. She really was frightened that day. She asked you so many things, but you didn't say a word, only cried. Fortunately, the physician said there was nothing seriously wrong, so Mother was able to set her mind at ease. When Suxin went over just now, she wanted to come herself, but I persuaded her otherwise. I told her I would come to check on you and that we would send someone to let her know if there was anything to report," Meng Wan said, walking up behind Meng Qi.
Meng Qi did not turn around, only nodded. "That is true. Making Mother worry time and again—that was unfilial of me. It will never happen again."
Meng Wan was stunned. She hadn't expected Meng Qi to say something like that. Before she could reply, a young maid outside announced that the physician had arrived.
Hearing the physician confirm that Meng Qi was out of danger and only needed to rest, Meng Wan breathed a long sigh of relief.
Before the physician could even finish writing the prescription, Madam Wang arrived at Qin Garden, carried in a sedan chair.