Jiang Cheng nodded solemnly:
"That's right, Old Sis, I'm actually on a date with a girl."
Upon hearing this, Jiang Wan'er looked at Jiang Cheng with the expression of an aging mother, giving the latter a bad case of goosebumps.
"Sis, don't look at me like that. Be violent, be cold instead. Staring at me like this gives me the creeps."
"Xiaocheng, even though our family is quite well-off, to prevent you from going astray, the family has always restricted you from going out for entertainment and interacting too much with the opposite sex.
Yet later on, seeing you laughing and joking around with your buddies all day without the slightest inclination toward romance, the family grew a bit worried, suspecting that you might be..."
At this point, Jiang Wan'er trailed off with a conflicted expression, terrified of bruising her younger brother's ego.
Jiang Cheng's mouth twitched: Holy shit, I played the obedient little boy just like you guys wanted, and in the end, you still suspected I swing the other way?
Then Jiang Cheng thought of another terrifying possibility: his second sister, Jiang Yue'er, kept trying to set him up with male classmates lately...
Seeing his brother-in-law suddenly lose that bouncy energy, Liu Bufan couldn't help but think... this kind of life was actually interesting. What was the point of all that fighting and killing all day long? Teasing his wife, giving his brother-in-law a hard time, bragging to his father-in-law, and soon having his own two kids—now that was a fulfilled life.
Just as Liu Bufan was immersed in his fantasies,
"Brother-in-law, you're laughing way too loudly. Can you tone it down a bit?"
"Cough, cough, couldn't help it, couldn't help it. You guys go on, please continue."
He even waved his hand in a gesture for them to proceed.
Jiang Wan'er had transformed into a gossip expert at that moment:
"Xiaocheng, how old is the girl? Where is she from? What does she look like? Do we know her? Let me double-check—she *is* a girl, right?"
Jiang Cheng felt like crying tears of blood:
"Ah, ah, ah! Of course she's a girl!"
"Honey, he's yelling at me!"
Jiang Cheng???
I was just expressing the fact that I was about to have a mental breakdown! How was I yelling at you? And besides, I wouldn't even dare!
Liu Bufan quickly swallowed the chicken wing in his hand, slammed the table, and shot Jiang Cheng a sideways glance:
"You watch your tone with her, brat, or I'll deal with you."
Jiang Cheng: o(TωT)o
Brother-in-law, I'm supposed to be on your side! Don't do this to me.
Jiang Wan'er expressed her stance: *Hmph*, your brother-in-law is only on *my* side.
With a rapid transformation worthy of a face-changing master, Jiang Wan'er asked again:
"Xiaocheng, dating costs a fair bit of money. We can't let the girl find any flaws. Do you want me to up your allowance?"
Jiang Cheng couldn't even tell what his older sister's normal state was anymore, but upon hearing the word "money," he exaggeratedly declared:
"No need, no need! I might not have millions lying around, but two million or so I still—
Ouch, ouch! Sis, let go of my ear! It's gonna fall off, it's gonna fall off..."
"Where on earth did you get that kind of money?! Ever since you started university, I've been giving you twenty thousand a month. Even if you saved every single penny, it wouldn't even be four hundred thousand! Have you been hanging out with thugs and picking up bad habits?"
"Hey, hey, hey! Sis, let go of my ear first! It hurts, it hurts..."
Jiang Wan'er let go, folded her arms, and put on an expression that demanded an immediate explanation.
"Sis, Brother-in-law, don't I love reading novels? After I got into university, I founded the Xiaocheng Literature Society, gathering a massive crowd of fellow book lovers to exchange experiences, and I appointed myself president.
Then I figured, what's the fun in just *reading*? So I started writing my own.
Maybe the readers liked it, because they kept saying they wanted to send me gifts. So after I gave them my address, I started receiving all kinds of razor blades every single day.
Among them was even a 39-meter-long folding saber! The craftsmanship was genuinely top-notch, so I kept that one, but I've gradually sold off the rest for a cool million or so!"
Jiang Wan'er???
Liu Bufan???
What kind of bizarre operational wizardry was this?
You made over a million just selling razor blades? How deeply hated must you be?!
Jiang Cheng continued:
"Just to clarify beforehand, as the president, I lead by example. Half of the royalty earnings go into the public fund as shared property of the club. But these razor blades were pure love from my readers, so I didn't embezzle a single penny of that!"
With that, he pulled out his phone and flashed his Alipay and QQ balances to Jiang Wan'er and Liu Bufan.
"What's your pen name? I'm going to look it up," Jiang Wan'er said suspiciously.
"It's Blade Little Prince. Just search for it on Tomato Novel."
Jiang Wan'er operated her phone, slapped her forehead and shook her head a moment later, and Liu Bufan curiously snatched the phone away to take a look:
Author: Blade Little Prince.
Former Name: My Future Brother-in-Law is Super Awesome.
Reading Time: 6,054 hours and 9 minutes.
Works:
Completed:
《The Civil Service Examination Journey of Wang Ergou, Deputy Director of the Shaolin Temple's Wudang Mountain Office》,
《System: Li Sanpao's 100,000 Wives and 90,000 Cuckold Horns》,
《The Matrilocal Son-in-Law: Moral Bankruptcy of the Crooked-Mouthed God of War》,
《Livestream: Exposing Grandpa's Immortality Cultivation Resulted in Getting His Legs Broken》,
《God-Tier Rich: Spending Ten Trillion Causing the Underworld to Experience Inflation》,
《God-Tier Rich 2: Selling Scalled Pancake at Naihe Bridge After Underworld Inflation》,
《God-Tier Rich 3: Being Chased and Beaten by Urban Management in the Underworld》
Ongoing:
《God-Tier Rich 4: Working as Urban Management in the Underworld》
……
Looking at these titles, each one more mind-boggling than the last, Liu Bufan instantly felt that making over a million from selling razor blades wasn't even a big deal anymore.
Glancing at Jiang Cheng sitting opposite him, acting as proud and smug as an absolute moron, Liu Bufan decided that the time that kid fell off a roller coaster as a toddler was truly necessary—otherwise, who knew how utterly unhinged this boy would have become?
Jiang Cheng replaced the two tissues plugging his bloody nose and said with a deadpan, serious expression:
"Brother-in-law, I've confessed everything. What about you? Aren't you going to explain?
You were totally fine last night, yet you end up disfigured and limping, and today...
Ouch! Sis, why'd you hit my head?"
"Didn't you hear your brother-in-law tell you to watch your tone? What do you mean 'totally fine yet disfigured and limping'? Huh?"
*Smack!*
"Improper word choice, improper word choice, heh heh."
"Well, Brother-in-law...
Ouch! Brother-in-law, why did you hit my head too?!"
"Nothing. Seeing your sister do it so smoothly, I wanted to try."
Jiang Wan'er thought back to how Liu Bufan had shattered the void with a single punch last night—was this a literal case of "try and you shall die"?
Jiang Cheng felt profoundly aggrieved. This married couple was bullying him too much! *Waaah*, I wanna go home!
Before he could fully express his grievance, he suddenly heard his older sister say:
"Oh, right, Xiaocheng, since you've got money now, your allowance is cut starting this month."
Jiang Cheng: Why the hell did I bother showing off?!
Time to swallow my pride.
Right!
Swallow my pride!
It's for the allowance, so it's not disgraceful!
Switching faces in a single second—the Jiang family's ancestral supreme technique: an actor's self-study.
Jiang Cheng immediately puffed out his lips, cupped his hands together, looked pitifully at Jiang Wan'er, and started making beckoning cat paws.
"Sis, I'm still just a child! Please don't do this to me.
Dad's favorite thing to say is that his and Mom's money is reserved entirely for your and Second Sister's dowries, and I won't get a single penny.
And these little scraps of mine are my bride-price fund and your future nephew's milk powder money~~~"
*Click!*
A camera flash went off!
"Hahahahaha...
Jiang Cheng,
it really is you!
Hahahahaha...
I thought I was seeing things.
What's this, playing a beckoning cat now~~~
Meow meow meow~~~"
"Holy shit, Bai Moli!!!!!!!!!"