Spotting a young man with white hair lying by the roadside, his eyes vacant and staring blankly into the sky, Gouge asked with curiosity, "What are you doing?"
He answered listlessly, "I don't know. I don't know either."
Gouge said, "The ground is cold, you should get up first."
He said, "The ground is nice. When you lie on the ground, you don't have to turn over, and you won't fall off the bed."
Tian Rulie's alcohol had worn off, though he still felt a bit buzzed. He cursed, "Brother Potian, never mind him. He's just an ignorant country bumpkin."
Liu Xiaowan didn't mind and asked, "Little brother, where are your parents? Don't they care about you?"
He said, "Care? I only wish they didn't care about me. Ever since I was little, I've been beaten and scolded by my parents, compared to other children by my parents, and subjected to accusations, lectures, humiliation, sarcasm, and verbal abuse. As soon as I get home, it's endless lecturing, overwhelming verbal education, and the moment I close my eyes, my parents' incessant abuse echoes in my ears. If you call that discipline, I probably have less freedom than an inmate in prison."
Tian Rulie said, "So young and yet so dejected. If life isn't going your way, change your way of living. What's the point of complaining?"
He said, "I was sent to a carpenter's shop to learn a trade when I was a child, and I grew up being brutally beaten by the fat master craftsman. I only know how to do carpentry work, how am I supposed to change?"
Tian Rulie frowned. "Is that my problem?"
The Little Carpenter sighed and said, "Perhaps I shouldn't have been born in the first place. It's too painful, and my parents bringing me into the world was the beginning of misery. Now I'm twenty-three years old, destitute, impoverished, and a total failure. When I went on a match-making meeting, the girl told me to spend my whole life with wood instead, saying I had a blockhead and that my entire person was made of rotten timber."
Tian Rulie laughed to his heart's content. "You really do look a bit like a piece of rotten timber! Do you think that by painting yourself in such a pitiful light, I'm going to pity you? At least you're still alive and you're a man! Although I, Tian, am neither a great hero nor a remarkable knight-errant, at least my life is passable. Look at you, how old are you, and you're still whimpering like a resentful woman, lamenting that your parents aren't good to you and your master beat you brutally. What use are you anyway?"
Tian Rulie couldn't be bothered to listen to his endless nagging and walked away by himself. Before leaving, he made a hand gesture to Gouge, but Gouge squatted down instead to talk to the Little Carpenter. Only at this very moment did Tian Rulie truly feel a bit of admiration for Gouge's disposition. If he had previously thought only that Gouge's internal energy was divine and his martial arts unfathomable, now he felt that Gouge truly possessed a compassionate heart—even a hopeless wretch like this was someone he reached out to save.
Although he didn't approve of it, he wasn't averse to Gouge's meddlesome behavior either; he simply didn't have the patience himself to listen to the Little Carpenter wallow in self-defeat. Humming a little tune, he left the place, instructing Gouge before he departed to assemble at the town entrance the next day, to which Gouge agreed. He cast an affectionate glance at Gouge, smiled as if looking at his own younger brother, and strode away with casual elegance.
Liu Xiaowan thought to herself that her own upbringing hadn't been easy either, and was no better than the Little Carpenter's. Her father, Han Liyong, was a reckless brute who went around challenging people to martial arts spars everywhere, completely disregarding her and her mother. She took her mother's surname, Liu, for fear of being tracked down by her father's enemies, depending on her mother for mutual support. Her father would only deign to guide her in martial arts when he was in a good mood; when all was said and done, her father was simply a martial arts maniac living entirely in his own world.
Because of this, her personality was much more independent than that of ordinary girls. She had matured early and shouldered the responsibility of taking care of her mother. After her mother fell gravely ill and passed away, she chose not to marry the fine husbands recommended by others. The more that matchmaker praised a man's martial arts prowess, the more she instinctively resisted from the bottom of her heart.
In Liu Xiaowan's mind, a man who knew martial arts might be famous far and wide and respected by friends in the jianghu, but he certainly wouldn't be a good husband, nor a good father. Therefore, she had no desire to marry a so-called high-ranking young martial arts hero; she preferred to make her own way in life through her own efforts. This was also her reason for persisting in practicing martial arts—she, Liu Xiaowan, would carve out her own world with her own two hands.
So, in truth, she wanted to awaken the numb soul of the Little Carpenter and tell him that he wasn't the only one feeling so lost.
Gouge didn't think quite so deeply; he simply felt the Little Carpenter was pitiful.
His own mother had beaten and scolded him endlessly since childhood, and after all kinds of strange encounters as he grew up, fate seemed to be playing a joke on him.
His biological mother turned out to be someone else, while the mother who had raised him bore a blood feud with his own clan.
He couldn't untangle his own background either, and had simply accepted the couple Shi Qing and Min Rou in a daze.
Therefore, seeing that the Little Carpenter still suffered so much even though all his family members were present, he merely wanted to make him feel a little better inside, lacking the complex feminine thoughts of Liu Xiaowan. Thus, he spoke up, "Big Brother Carpenter, there are no mothers in this world who do not love their children. Have you ever considered that when they had you go learn a trade from a carpenter, it might simply have been out of fear that you wouldn't have a way to make a living?"
The Little Carpenter stared at him in a daze, as if he couldn't imagine that Gouge would care about him so much—even more than his own family cared.
The Little Carpenter said, "You mean... they had me beaten brutally by my master since I was a child for my own good? To let me learn a trade?"
Gouge agreed, "Yes. Nothing in this world comes easy. Back then, the old senior and I lived on the mountain. I practiced the little wooden figures that old grandfather left behind—later on I found out what his name was: the Great Elder of White Smoke Island. Anyway, it was a set of little wooden figures given to me by that kind old grandfather, and the old senior told me it was a set of internal energy cultivation mental formulas. I practiced it for several years."
This was the first time Liu Xiaowan had heard Gouge talk about his past. Her lovely eyes were filled with doubt as she asked curiously, "And then?"
"After that, I don't know what happened. One moment I was trembling with cold, and the next moment I was burning up and sweating profusely. One day I passed out from the pain, and when I woke up, I was already in Changle Help. Fortunately, Mr. Bei saved me, otherwise I would have died long ago."
Hearing him talk so much, the Little Carpenter perked up and said, "Thank you. It turns out everyone's life is difficult."
Liu Xiaowan also said with emotion, "That Mr. Bei is truly a good person, to actually help someone like you whom he didn't even know."
Gouge smiled and said, "Indeed, indeed. Mr. Bei has always been very good to me, and later on he followed my every word. Carpenter brother, talk about yourself instead. Perhaps Liu and I can help you? Feel free to speak up." Liu Xiaowan also nodded.
At this, the Little Carpenter let out a sigh and said, "I feel like only suffering remains in living. Looking back on my first twenty-three years of life, it seems the only memories left are negative, sorrowful, humble, miserable, and depressed emotions.
I feel that precisely because I am at the bottom of society, the people I encounter are a bunch of trash just like me, and I live in this trashy environment, earning a meager pittance, living humbly, not even daring to have any thoughts of my own, right?
Back then, every day was lifeless and devoid of any vitality. I'm so sorry that I've become such a useless adult.
How wonderful it is that both you and this young lady are living so well now, and are so outstanding. Unlike me—the wooden items I made this afternoon were smashed by someone who said my wooden chairs broke the moment someone sat on them, and weren't meant for people to sit on at all.
My life is like a pool of mud. I used to struggle a bit, but now I don't want to move anymore. There's no point.
I don't resent my family; they have it hard too. Maybe I'm just truly useless.
I don't want to be compared to others anymore. Ah, it's so exhausting! The boys I played with when we were little are now building houses, taking wives, buying horse-drawn carriages, and starting big businesses. And me? I'm still sharing a room with a bunch of servants, suffering through the stench of sweat and stinky feet every night, in a place that's both filthy and cramped. The air is so foul I can barely breathe.
I've dreamed of those pretty girls too, but who would be willing to marry me? I'm just a useless little carpenter.
The only happiness I had was playing outdoors during the daytime in my childhood, but every single night of my childhood was spent being lectured, not to mention being sent off as an apprentice to be brutally beaten by my master, and facing abuse and contempt from others.
These twenty-three years of mine haven't been happy at all. Even though I sleep for a long time every day, I still feel so tired and exhausted. I want to find a place where nobody is around, dig a pit, and lie down. Whatever a person does alone must be happy.
As soon as I get home, I feel like even breathing is a mistake. That house is like a prison, filled only with oppression and torment. My heart is truly exhausted."
After listening to the Little Carpenter finish, Liu Xiaowan was so sleepy she was practically dozing off. Although she had a kind heart, she could barely stand to listen any longer.
Gouge didn't mind; he patiently listened to the end. The Little Carpenter said, "Can you help me dig a pit? I want to sleep for a while."
Gouge raised no objection; he simply accompanied him to dig a pit, shoveling the dirt until they had made two earth pits large enough to hold the bodies of adults, and lay down side by side in them.
He said, "It really is much easier this way. Thank you. Next, I want to lie here by myself, you should leave. Do you have any poison? The kind that doesn't hurt too much, I'm a bit afraid of pain."
Gouge shook his head and said, "None. Those two jars of poisoned wine belonging to Big Brother and Second Brother were pretty good, but unfortunately they aren't here, otherwise I'd let you drink your fill."
He said, "Help me go buy some wine up ahead. I don't want to leave in such a lifeless manner; I want to drink some wine and forget everything."
Gouge bought the wine and gave it all to him. He drank it with intoxicated relish, and lay there tipsy, wearing a satisfied smile.
Gouge asked if he felt that living was very painful and vexing.
Instead of answering, the Little Carpenter counseled Gouge, saying, "I'm twenty-three, and actually I can understand the helplessness and pain of my parents. Being alive in this world is just coming here to suffer. I don't expect any better treatment; perhaps my parents just didn't want me to take the wrong path, or perhaps I still don't know what true suffering is like. Looking back on the first half of my life, I finally understand why I cried when I was just born. I truly envy those children who drowned at an early age—they found release at their happiest moment. Growing up is simply a torture to me."
Gouge comforted him, saying, "Don't think like that. I'm only twenty years old myself, the road of life is still long."
He said, "I have white hair at twenty-three, and I'm destined to lead a life of toil with nothing to show for it, earning my meals through sweat and blood. Although I'm grown up now, I can't even laugh a few times the whole year round. Ah, when I was little, a few copper coins made me feel so happy, and buying a sugar figurine could make me happy all afternoon. Now I have a few fragments of silver, yet every single day I worry about making a living. Clearly I have more money, but I always feel so poor I have nothing left."
Gouge remained as unhurried and serene as ever, saying calmly, "Sometimes I also feel that I've been living very poorly. But I met Axiu, I met Dad, Mom, Mother Shi, and Big Brother, Second Brother, and the others. I think experiencing so much pain is precisely what allowed me to be so fortunate as to meet them."
The Little Carpenter said, "Spending time with you today was very pleasant. Thank you."
Gouge smiled gently and said, "A person is truly far too insignificant in the universe. Human vexations and human pursuits are nothing more than a speck of dust between heaven and earth. Perhaps people only fall into self-doubt because they are trapped within a corner of the world, just like how you are trapped in this pit right now and can't climb out."
The Little Carpenter said, "I am quietly lying in the pit I dug for myself now, and I don't want to climb out anymore. It's too exhausting. Thank you, I no longer have to be beaten, scolded, or accused by others, nor do I have to listen to anyone's lectures and abuses. It's finally peaceful—this accursed world."
A sense of ease and comfort, unlike anything he had ever shown before, appeared on his tired face, as if he had returned to the carefree days of his childhood.
Gouge said, "Have you ever thought about leaving this place? Perhaps changing places to live and starting over would be fine?"
Hearing him say this, the Little Carpenter couldn't help but begin to daydream about such a life of starting over, and his vacant eyes suddenly regained a spark of spirit.
The Little Carpenter said despondently, "But I have no money, and I am very weak. I'm afraid of being robbed by horse bandits, and I'm afraid of dying alone on the road."
Gouge smiled and said, "In the face of death, these are not such formidable matters."
The Little Carpenter said, "You're right."
The two of them just lay there. After quite a while, the Little Carpenter spoke up again.
"I want to leave this place. Can you take me with you? I'll do anything, I don't want to face this kind of abuse from my parents anymore. I am still young, whatever I do alone makes me happy, but staying with my parents is always painful to death. I don't want to live with them anymore, I don't want to argue anymore, bickering endlessly every day over the exact same things, over trivial matters, until we fall out. Living in such a family is too agonizing."
Gouge said, "My mom is pretty much the same, except she often goes ten days or half a month without saying a single word to me. Doing the laundry, cooking, fixing the house, and chopping firewood are all done by me alone. I don't think there's anything bad about that. If you want to leave, come along with me."
The Little Carpenter stood up solemnly, bowing deeply to Gouge three times and knocking his head nine times.
Gouge said, "No, no, how could I ever accept such a grand kowtow from you?" and began knocking his head toward him in return.
After finishing his kowtows, Gouge helped him up, and seeing the mud on each other's foreheads, the two of them burst into hearty laughter.
Recovering a young man's vigor and vitality, the Little Carpenter went home that very night to pack his luggage and left along with Gouge.
The next day, the group set off once more. Gouge took another step closer to the Great Snow Mountain, currently arriving within the borders of Hubei.
The scorching heat of the dog days of summer had not yet dissipated, and Gouge's group was sweating profusely on the road, too hot to speak.
Nearby, two chubby children were playing a marble game, flicking glass beads into their corresponding targets.
Seeing Gouge's group looking utterly exhausted and soaked in sweat, they burst into loud laughter. One of the children shouted at Gouge, "Ha-ha-ha, what a bunch of fools, walking in such hot weather!"
Another child chimed in, "Ha-ha, they look like drowned rats!"
Gouge smiled gently, paying no mind to these idle gibes; he simply felt that an adult shouldn't lose their temper with children.
Liu Xiaowan merely frowned.
The Little Carpenter glared at them, thinking to himself where these wild kids had sprung from.
Tian Rulie walked over with a grinning smile and asked, "What did you just say?"
Seeing him smiling playfully, the child assumed he hadn't understood and shouted even louder, "I said you're a bunch of morons, running around in this heat! Do you lack ears or what, ha-ha-ha?" and another child jeered along.
Tian Rulie chuckled along as well, then suddenly lashed out, grabbing the first child by the neck. Amidst the other child's shrill, pig-like shrieks, he hoisted him upside down as well and tossed him aside.
"You are born without parents to raise you—say that again?" Tian Rulie delivered a slap across the child's right cheek, causing it to swell up high.
"Wuu-wuu-wuu, ah-ah-ah-ah!" The child kicked his legs wildly in the air, terrified into a sobbing mess of snot and tears.
Still not satisfied, Tian Rulie slapped him on the left cheek as well, beating him so hard he couldn't even speak and could only beg for mercy continuously, his cheeks already swollen into the shape of a pig's head.
The other child ran off crying, and shortly after dragged an adult back with him.
As soon as the adult arrived, without asking who was right or wrong, upon seeing the chubby child's pig-head-like face, she shrieked, "Pay up! You must pay up! You uncultured wretch, this old lady is going to teach you how to behave today!"
Tian Rulie smiled and said, "It was this little bastard who started cursing first. It looks like you're the old bastard parent?"
The vicious woman cursed incessantly, "Clean out your mouth, you turtle's egg! Put my son down! What's wrong with a child cursing you? He can curse your whole family!" With that, she reached out to strike him.
Tian Rulie didn't indulge her either, kicking her straight in the stomach. The vicious woman flew backward onto the ground, rolling about in agony.
Tian Rulie gave a contemptuous smile, dumped the chubby child onto her like a sack of garbage, and said, "If you don't know how to discipline your son next time, you can come find me. I guarantee I'll turn him into something neither human nor ghost."
Gouge wanted to say something, but Liu Xiaowan spoke up first, "That's right. Don't look at how young some people are, they're just rotten seeds—human nature is evil at birth. Give them a beating first to teach them a lesson to remember. If they dare run their foul mouths next time, tear them apart."
The Little Carpenter clapped and laughed heartily, muttering under his breath that they deserved it.
Although Gouge wanted to say something, he also felt that unruly children indeed needed a good lesson, so the words lingered on the tip of his tongue and remained unsaid.
The group hit the road again, and Tian Rulie said, "That's just how I am. If I have a grievance, I settle it on the spot. You have to give tit for tat with people like that."
Liu Xiaowan said, "Exactly. I've encountered plenty of these brats. The more you indulge them, the more they presume upon your leniency. Beat them without a second thought."
The Little Carpenter also said, "Whenever I did carpentry work before, there was always a gang of brats making trouble, either pulling apart my wood or smashing things. They were annoying to death."
Gouge smiled helplessly. He could never bring himself to think the worst of human nature, but with the facts right before his eyes, he didn't care to utter any clichés.
Gouge asked, "Where is this place ahead, Brother Tian? Are we almost in Shanxi?"
Tian Rulie pulled out a map and said, "Indeed. We'll be at the Great Snow Mountain very soon. Let's push a bit harder."
Gouge couldn't help but begin to yearn for the gentle and dignified Axiu, recalling the days they had spent together in the past and remembering Purple Smoke Island. He couldn't wait to see Axiu, and the longing for her in his heart was ready to burst from his chest.