"Look, is that a woman from Miaojiang?"
In a tea shed by the official road, two men wearing bamboo conical hats sat in a corner, their eyes fixed intently on a pair of man and woman not far ahead. The man wore coarse linen clothes, while the woman was exceptionally pretty, especially in her Miaojiang attire, which was striking to behold.
"That outfit is definitely from Miaojiang. Damn it, I've never tasted a Miaojiang woman before," one of them said, licking his lips with a flash of greed in his eyes.
"Damn it, Miaojiang is notoriously hard to enter, full of miasma, and it's rare to see someone walk out of there. Second brother, I'll go first this time. I heard people from Miaojiang are riddled with Gu poison, so let your big brother test the poison for you first," the other whispered.
"Thank you, Big Brother! You're so good to me!" the man said, deeply moved.
The two exchanged a look and broke into a lewd, sinister smile.
By this time, the man and woman had approached the tea shed. The man glanced casually around the surroundings, then led the woman into the shed.
"Two guests, please take a seat," the tea shed owner greeted them warmly.
The man nodded, and then walked with the woman to an empty table and sat down.
"Alright, stop talking for a second, they're coming over. Hold on, I'll directly immobilize the woman, and you go up and slaughter the man," one of them whispered.
The other nodded, keeping his eyes on the couple and preparing to strike at any moment.
"No problem, Big Brother. This man looks weak as hell, and he's even putting on airs carrying two swords on his back. I guarantee he won't even take a single hit from me."
"What would you two guests like to drink?" The tea shed owner carefully wiped down the table for the newcomers.
"A pot of tea, and bring whatever food you have," Chen Xiaofei said, setting the saber on his right hand onto the table and sitting down.
"Coming right up," the owner replied cheerfully and went to prepare it.
"How much longer until Wudu?" Xia Yun asked with a long face as she sat next to Chen Xiaofei, rubbing her calves.
"Another two days, I reckon," Chen Xiaofei calculated the journey.
"Ah? Then when does the Martial Arts Tournament start?" Xia Yun's face looked even more miserable.
"Today," the owner served a pot of tea first, and Chen Xiaofei calmly poured cups for himself and Xia Yun. "Quench your thirst first."
"Ah? Then haven't we missed it?" Xia Yun lost all desire to drink tea.
Looking at Xia Yun's bitter expression, Chen Xiaofei asked in confusion, "Are you going there to get into bloody fights?"
"No, I'm going to become a disciple."
"Then what does the Martial Arts Tournament have to do with you?"
"Oh yeah, nothing at all." Xia Yun had a sudden realization, then looked suspiciously at Chen Xiaofei. "Weren't you going there to get into bloody fights back then? How can you still be so calm?"
"Because I only need to fight the last person," Chen Xiaofei said, patting the saber on the table with great confidence.
"Really?" Xia Yun made it clear she didn't believe him.
"I am very strong," Chen Xiaofei said with a charming, wicked smile.
"Only looking at your saber closely now, it's so cool. What's it called?" Xia Yun reached out and touched it.
"This one is called Dao Da," Chen Xiaofei patted the one on the table.
"And this one is called Dao Er," he shook the one at his waist.
"Damn it, I can't take this anymore!"
The two hat-wearing men who had been watching from the side flipped their table over and stood up, then grabbed their weapons and marched up to Chen Xiaofei's table.
"What do you want?" Xia Yun slammed her hand on the table, stood up, and glared fiercely at them.
"What do we want? You, of course, little beauty." The sturdier of the two removed his bamboo hat, revealing a thick beard, and swung the meteor hammer in his hand. "I am called Wu Da."
"Damn it, I am called Wu Er! You gave your sabers those two names—are you looking for trouble? I'm going to hack you to death!" The other man also threw off his hat and drew his saber. "Look, mine is bigger than yours!"
"Brat, you're being extremely arrogant. Go out and ask around about the Wu family brothers—our ancestors used to ride tigers into battle!" Wu Da proudly proclaimed his background. "In the pugilistic world, my nickname is Wudalang!"
"Damn it, I am Wuerlang!"
"Are these two out of their minds?" Xia Yun lowered her head to look at Chen Xiaofei, who was still sitting there caressing Dao Da.
Chen Xiaofei merely smiled, shook his head, and said nothing.
"Hey, little beauty, from Miaojiang, right? Run with us brothers. Look at the guy you're following—he doesn't dare let out a single fart in front of us brothers!" Wu Da stepped forward, trying to touch Xia Yun's face.
"Pfft!"
A loud fart echoed through the tea shed.
"Damn it, who was that?!" Wu Er roared.
Chen Xiaofei raised his hand apologetically. "Sorry, I've been holding it in all the way, couldn't hold it anymore."
"Damn it, I'm going to smash you to pieces!" Wu Da angrily swung his meteor hammer.
"Pfft!"
Another fart blasted out.
"Damn it, who is it this time?!" Wu Er roared.
A trembling voice came from behind: "Sorry, you startled me."
The tea shed owner, holding a large platter of food, stood weakly in the back.
"Damn it, I'm going to smash all of you to death!" Wu Da brandished his meteor hammer, preparing to bring it down on the tea shed owner.
"Pfft!"
Another fart sounded.
"Damn it, who is it this time?!" Wu Er looked at Xia Yun.
"It wasn't me," Xia Yun hurriedly shook her head in denial.
"Second brother... it was me..." A weak voice came from the side. The tea shed owner had somehow appeared behind Wu Da and jammed a chopstick straight into Wu Da's lower back, causing him to fart uncontrollably from the pain.
"Big Brother!" Wu Er raised his large saber and slashed at the tea shed owner. The owner stepped forward, violently yanked the chopstick out of Wu Da's body, and drove it into Wu Er's wrist, causing the heavy saber to drop to the ground in agony.
"Pfft!"
"Get lost, and fast!" the owner roared.
Wu Er hurriedly helped Wu Da up from the ground, and the two of them scurried out of the tea shed in disgrace.
"I hope the two guests weren't frightened." Shedding his previous demeanor, the owner smiled obsequiously at Chen Xiaofei and Xia Yun.
Chen Xiaofei had already moved the food the owner had set aside onto the table, and he and Xia Yun were eating while watching the show.
"What are you so excited about?" Chen Xiaofei asked, puzzled.
"This is jianghu! So exciting!"
"That's why I'm saying, a tea shed that can open here and remain at peace is definitely no simple place. The jianghu is full of hidden dragons and crouching tigers; an unremarkable little beggar might just be an unrivaled master. You need to be more mindful from now on." Chen Xiaofei patiently imparted the ways of the pugilistic world.
Xia Yun ate her beef without even raising her head.
"Great, she didn't hear a word of it."
"Hey, hey, hey, leave some for me!"
...
"Winner, Luofu Palace's Chen Xiao."
"Are there any other challengers? If no one challenges after three drum rolls, it will be announced that Chen Xiao is the winner of Group B!"
Wudu, arena.
The host shouted loudly on the stage, suddenly snapping his iron fan shut and pointing it at the war drum on the high wall. A surge of Internal Energy shot out like a pellet, striking the war drum.
"Boom!"
The war drum sounded.
"Are there any challengers?" the host shouted again, but still received no response.
The iron fan pointed at the war drum once more.
"Boom!"
The host was stunned. He hadn't channeled his Internal Energy yet—where did that sound come from?
Looking in the direction of the sound, he saw a large battle-axe thrown onto the stage from who knows where, its blade stuck straight into the ground, cracking the surface of the arena.
"I'm coming!"
A roar like a tiger's shook the entire arena awake. A tall, bald man dressed in brocade leaped up and landed beside the battle-axe.
Seeing this, the host quickly retreated from the stage.
"Who goes there?" Chen Xiao on the stage looked at the new challenger, tightening his grip on his long sword and pointing it forward.
"Northwest, Niu San."