The "Thousand-Li Sweet Medical Tour" by the Green Ox Medical Clinic turned Chang'an upside down today. Huwa had transformed the clinic's giant green ox into a "mobile sweet clinic," hanging sweet lanterns inscribed with the *Rhyme of Pharmacological Properties* from its horns, and tying popping loudspeakers that blared "Time for a check-up!" to its tail. A Luoyang Wang apprentice patted the ox's rump and muttered, "Brother Huwa, if this ox... walks and poops at the same time, won't it stain all the sweet medicine with a 'laxative flavor'?"
"Stop jinxing it!" Huwa knocked him on the head and shoved an "anti-diarrhea sweet bean" into the ox's mouth. "Today we're traveling all the way from Chang'an to Luoyang! Anyone who cures ten strange cases gets... my reward: a 'thousand-li popping candy'!" Just as he finished speaking, an elderly flower-selling woman rushed over, crying, "Doctor! My hands... every time I touch flowers, thorns grow!" Little Huwa (Grandma Zhang's grandson) pulled out a "disease-source sweet mirror" and shone it on her. The mirror unexpectedly displayed a ghostly image of Huwa stealing and eating fertilizer—it turned out the old woman had mistaken Huwa's "plant growth crystal" for hand cream! He hurriedly applied "thorn-removing sweet syrup" to her hands, and as soon as the syrup was smoothed on, the old woman's hands bloomed with sweet flowers inscribed with classic lines from the *Song of Formulas*.
At the first stop of the sweet medical tour, a Yangzhou s…
Chapter 479