March of the second year of Longyu.
Jia Tu, the Prime Minister of Dawei, passed away, and the entire Prime Minister Estate was draped in white mourning cloth.
In the bamboo grove beside the mourning hall, a young man of about eighteen opened his eyes, his once-clouded gaze gradually clearing.
He looked down at himself: he wore a mourning hood, a white mourning robe, and a hemp rope tied around his waist.
"Could it be that I... worked myself to the bone... and changed careers to become a funeral director?"
"Wuuu wuuu wuuu~~"
A group of maidservants, wearing white hairpin flowers and mourning robes, wept bitterly as they passed by the young man.
Surrounding them were heavily built mansion guards in armor, shoving and pushing.
"Hurry up!! What are you crying for? Being chosen to be buried with the dead is your blessing!!"
"I... I don't want to die!!"
A maidservant struggled and broke away from the procession, but before she could escape, she was overtaken by the guards, their blades drawn from their scabbards.
A flash of cold light!!
Fresh blood gushed out like a fountain, splashing across the young man's face.
"Huh?"
"Do funerals nowadays... come with live performances?"
Soon, the young man realized something was amiss, because the performance was far too realistic—that girl... seemed to be genuinely dead.
The guards dragged the maidservant's corpse away like a dead dog, leaving only a striking trail of blood on the ground!
He remembered now: he had died suddenly from overexertion after pulling an all-nighter playing games at an internet café!!
A dead man reviving in a strange place... following the formula of web novels... that meant...
"I've transmigrated!!"
Where was the system?
Where were the memories of his past life?
Uh....
The young man waited for a while, but it seemed there was absolutely nothing!
So he would have to explore everything on his own!
Sherlock Holmes once said: when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth!
Deduction in progress....
His mourning robe was covered in mud, his hands were still clutching two lumps of dirt, and on the ground lay the host's newly completed primitive industrial art piece. Judging by its appearance, it seemed to be... uh... impossible to tell what it was, so let's tentatively call it mud, but one could feel the pure joy of play from this tiny lump of mud!
Hehehe~
To be fair, the host still retained quite a childlike innocence!
Wait a minute!!!
The young man squatted on the ground, lost in deep thought.
An eighteen-year-old youth with the childlike innocence of playing in the mud...
What the hell!!
I've transmigrated into the body of an idiot!!
Two figures walked out of the mourning hall.
One was eight chi tall, with a leopard's head, round eyes, swallow-like jaw, and tiger-like whiskers—the absolute spitting image of a door god.
The other was as thin as a rail, with a pointed mouth and monkey cheeks, looking precisely like an atavistic ape-man!
"Third brother, stop playing around. Go inside and kowtow to Father!"
The young man weighed his options inwardly.
He called me third brother, which means they are my eldest or second brother. Since the host is an idiot, asking a few moronic questions shouldn't raise their suspicions.
"Who am I? Who are you?"
Faced with the young man's inquiry, the atavistic ape-man and the door god exchanged glances, sighed, and wore expressions of deep worry.
The atavistic ape-man reached out and patted the young man's head, his eyes filled with doting affection.
"I am your second brother, Jia Yi, and this is your eldest brother, Jia Ruoxiang. Your name is Jia Lingyun, and our father is Jia Tu, the current Prime Minister. Only... Father passed away two days ago..."
Jia Ruoxiang clenched his fists in fury.
"Those bastard court ministers! When Father was alive, they treated our Jia family with the utmost reverence, coming every single day to flatter him, and even urging Father to claim the title of Prince. Now that Father is dead, these people can't even be bothered to come pay their respects, rushing impatiently instead to pander to the Empress Dowager. Truly despicable!"
Jia Yi's voice turned somewhat desolate.
"If Third Brother had a clear head, with you holding the Imperial Guard and the Ink Guards within the estate, perhaps we might still have a chance to turn things around!"
"But right now... you and I are merely Father's adopted sons, unable to rightfully inherit the official position Father left behind. And since Third Brother is an idiot, the Empress Dowager will have every excuse to deny him hereditary succession."
"These people understand the political landscape best; knowing the Jia family is finished, naturally they have to start looking for a new master."
"Eldest Brother, while Father was alive, he held absolute sway over the imperial court, and the new Emperor and Empress Dowager have long been dissatisfied. In my view, the Empress Dowager will probably find an opportunity to settle accounts with the Jia family in the next few days. Rather than waiting, we might as well take Third Brother and flee far away to Wu and Shu, which at least will leave behind a trace of Father's bloodline!"
Jia Ruoxiang let out a long sigh.
"Second Brother, your mind has always been sharper than mine. If we're going to leave, we must do it immediately; delays bring changes. I will take charge of breaking through and covering our retreat!"
Jia Lingyun spoke up with a warning.
"Eldest Brother, Second Brother, if you insist on running, I'm afraid that out on the road, a mere low-ranking commander with a few thousand troops could capture you both alive!"
Jia Ruoxiang frowned slightly.
"We can't run, and if we stay we're just waiting to die—then what do you suggest we do?"
"Naturally, you should let me inherit Father's official position!!"
"Didn't I just say? Your brain doesn't work right, and the Empress Dowager won't agree..."
Jia Ruoxiang was about to continue rambling on his own, but Jia Yi grabbed him with a look of pure delight.
"Eldest Brother!! Eldest Brother!!"
"What is it!! Can't you see I'm trying to think of a solution?!"
Joy lit up Jia Yi's face as he excitedly said to Jia Ruoxiang:
"Stop trying to think of a solution! Third Brother's... Third Brother's idiocy is cured!!"
Prompted by Jia Yi's reminder, Jia Ruoxiang quickly snapped back to reality and stared fixedly at Jia Lingyun for a long moment.
"Third Brother... you..."
Jia Lingyun rolled his eyes...
Was my transition too abrupt? Did it raise their suspicions? Should I soften it a bit... like...
Jia Lingyun raised a hand to support his head, his expression pained.
"Hiss~~ Eldest Brother... Second Brother... I feel like my illness hasn't completely healed yet, my head still hurts a bit!"
"Hahaha!!!"
Jia Ruoxiang's laughter sounded like a clap of thunder, and standing right beside him, Jia Lingyun felt his eardrums ring painfully as his ears hummed.
"A new lease on life, this is truly a new lease on life!!"
"Third Brother's idiocy is cured! Tomorrow at morning court, we will petition the Empress Dowager to let Third Brother inherit Father's official position!"
A pageboy came running hurriedly from outside the gates, kneeling breathlessly before Jia Ruoxiang.
"Reporting to Eldest Young Master, Princess Taiping has arrived! Her carriage is already waiting outside the estate gates!"
"Quick, go welcome her!"
None of the court ministers had come, which made Jia Ruoxiang feel he had lost face, but Princess Taiping's arrival made him feel that face had been fully restored!
When an official passed away and a member of the imperial family participated, that was supreme glory!
"As expected of my third sister-in-law, she knows the proper etiquette and came to visit upon learning of her father-in-law's passing!"
What?
This sudden remark sent a jolt through Jia Lingyun's entire body.
"Eldest Brother, are you saying... Princess Taiping is my wife?"
Jia Yi chimed in from the side:
"Yeah~ But you haven't been formally married yet; you're just betrothed. Since she's come today right on time, we can also discuss whether to postpone your wedding date. After all, with Father's coffin resting in the hall, getting married so soon would easily invite mockery from outsiders!"
"Eldest Brother, Second Brother, I'm not afraid of being mocked by others! I just want a wife!!"
Jia Ruoxiang:......
Jia Yi:......