Time flies, and five years have passed in the blink of an eye.
Alice is now six years old, curled up in her bedding like a tiny rice dumpling. Over these past five years, the little nestling has gradually grown, turning into a ball of golden fluff. Alice inherited her mother's hair color, a golden shade rarely seen in this country. At least in my memory, aside from Alice herself and her mother, I have never seen anyone else with hair like that.
I gently stroked Alice's fluffy golden hair. She let out a soft, sleepy murmur, then squinted her eyes and smiled up at me. "Good morning, Daddy!" Her childish words were completely devoid of pretense, striking straight at my heart.
"Morning, morning! How did you sleep?"
"Su—per comfortable! The mattress Daddy made is so, so soft. Sleeping on it is just like being wrapped in a cloud."
"Is that so? I had no idea I was so talented."
I wrapped my arms around Alice and carefully lifted her up, slipping her feet into her slippers. Although she was perfectly capable of putting them on herself, the little girl had this particular habit—she was a little clingy.
Clara, our daughter has grown up. You must be able to see her, too. You must be watching over us quietly from the sky somewhere...
...
My Clara, my canary, my beloved, left me forever due to that illness before Alice was old enough to form memories.
Clara lied to me. That was the first and only time she ever lied to me. Her illness was far more serious than she had described; it was a chronic, hidden ailment that slowly chipped away at a patient's body. Coupled with giving birth to Alice, it dealt a devastating double blow to her health. Years of accumulated exhaustion caused Clara to grow increasingly frail, until she finally collapsed on her sickbed.
"Why are you always so unserious? Eek! You're... you're so annoying."
"Let's pinky swear. No matter if you meet a girl who is pretti—er than me in the future, you aren't allowed to let your eyes wander. Anyone who betrays another person's sincerity has to swallow ten thousand needles. No, a hundred million needles!"
"What on earth are you staring at all this time? Is there something so interesting to look at... I get embarrassed, you know."
"You're asking me how I know you like me? Umm... yeah, how *would* I know?"
"Idiot! To tell if someone likes you or not, looking at their eyes is enough. Your eyes sparkle every single time you look at me."
"You'd better stop bothering me, or else I'm going to have to endure your torment in my dreams all over again."
"Did you have a good dream? Guess what I dreamed about!"
"How is it that no matter where I go, your face just refuses to 'haunt' me like a ghost—you're everywhere!"
"But to be honest, I still... hope to see you in my dreams."
...
"Arthur..." Clara's weak voice still echoed in my ears.
"I'm here, I'm right here."
"Do you have an identical twin brother? Otherwise, why would there be two of you...?" Clara's pale lips curved upward with great effort, revealing a tired smile.
I felt as though my heart skipped a beat with a heavy thud, and I forced back the ache in my chest to squeeze out a smile.
"My family has more than a dozen brothers. When we were little, we raised a cat together—it was amazing, it could even do backflips."
"I don't believe you at all. You're lying to me again..."
We smiled at each other, our hands griping tightly together.
"When you get better, we'll go visit a lot of places we've never been to."
Clara nodded, then trembling, she struggled to sit up. She took a small piece of golden origami from her drawer and smiled as she handed it to me.
"Arthur..." Clara's voice was no louder than a mosquito's hum; it seemed speaking had exhausted every last ounce of her strength. A faint smile hung on the corners of her lips, but that smile was tinged with an indescribable bitterness. That was the first time I ever saw her cry.
"Look, the one I folded... does it look nice?"
Clara gave a gentle breath, and the origami bird fluttered its wings in the breeze, so lifelike it seemed about to fly away.
"You have to hold onto me tightly. If I let my wings flap and fly away, you'll never see me again."
Clara poked my cheek, and the little bird in her hand seemed to perform magic—before I knew it, one had turned into two, one large and one small.
"I'll leave this one in your safekeeping. Take good care of it." Clara said as she pushed the smaller paper bird into my hand.
"Take good care of... our daughter. Tell her she has a mother who loves her very much... and the mos—t handsome father in the entire world."
Clara's voice trembled, carrying a slight sob. A single clear tear rolled down the corner of her eye, dampening the toy bear belonging to Alice on the bedside table.
"I never got to see you with my own eyes... I actually thought I could stay with you both forever." Clara pulled me closer, resting her head against my chest.
"What if she wakes up hungry in the middle of the night? What if she doesn't like the food Daddy makes? What if she wakes up and can't find her mother...?"
I gently kissed Clara's forehead, my lips trembling as I spoke softly: "It's going to be alright. Didn't I tell you?"
"Haven't we safely brought her into the world? You just had to give birth to her, and you can leave the rest to me."
"I love you... I love you both so, so much... So, don't cry for me, my dear Mr. Arthur... because... the hero is the bravest champion of all. In this lifetime... being able to meet you... makes me truly happy... Thank you, Arthur, for choosing me so unwaveringly... It's just a pity I couldn't walk with you to the very end."
With that, she forced her eyes open, her soft hand gently caressing my cheek to wipe away the tears at the corner of my eye. Then, she spoke to me with the gentlest tone in the world.
"We... we will definitely meet again... So... please, please carry my share... and live a life happier than anyone else alongside Alice..."
...
My Clara left my world just like that, without a sound, not even leaving me time to wave goodbye...
"Daddy, what's wrong with you?" The childish voice pulled me back from the abyss of memory. I froze, raising my gaze to find Alice staring at me with wide, watery eyes full of worry. I suddenly felt a cool sensation on my face, and a stray droplet burst quietly against the floorboards beneath my feet, silently shattering the final barrier in my heart.
I couldn't hold back my tears. In front of my daughter, I cried like a child. "I really am a pathetic excuse for a father," I thought to myself. Just as I lowered my head to wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes, I felt a soft touch on the top of my head. I opened my eyes to see that Alice had stood up on the bed. Because of the height difference, she had to stand on tiptoe to gently stroke my hair.
I looked in astonishment at the little angel before me. The corners of her eyes were also damp, and her lips trembled slightly as she seemingly tried hard to suppress her emotions. She just kept patting my hair like that, then gently pulled my head into the warmth of her arms, her voice trembling. "There, there, Daddy, don't cry, don't cry... If Daddy cries, Alice gets sad too. Alice will... will..."
Her little face flushed bright red, and Alice couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst into tears with a wail, her tiny face instantly covered in moisture. "Daddy... where did Mommy go? Every time... you never tell Alice, and Alice... Alice misses Mommy, Alice wants... Alice wants Mommy, please Daddy, take Alice... take Alice with you to go find Mommy, okay? ...Alice will be good, she really will, so... so please... let's go together... let's go bring Mommy back, okay?"
I hugged Alice tightly, yet it felt as though I was hugging nothing at all. Alice in my arms felt as weightless and intangible as air. "It's alright... it's alright, Alice. Your mother... she's very strong. She just... she just went to play in a very far-off place. And she said, you know—Alice has to be a good girl and wait for her to come back... When she comes back, she'll bring Alice the sweetest, sweetest peppermint candy..."
I gently patted Alice's back. Though she felt completely nonexistent—my palm felt no physical sensation at all—her trembling shoulders slowly calmed under my soothing strokes.
"Alice..."
"What is it? ...Daddy?" Alice's small hands clutched tightly at my clothes, her voice still carrying a tremor. Strangely enough, I couldn't feel the slightest sensation of being grabbed.
"Alice, you know... your mother was such a gentle person. Even though you might not remember it, when you were little, you loved nothing more than snuggling up in her arms to act spoiled... Your mother... was the prettiest mother in the entire world. So, my Alice, when you grow up... you'll definitely be just as pretty as your mother. My little princess, you are going to grow into a stunning, graceful beauty. Your daddy... will always be by your side. I believe that Mommy is definitely watching over you quietly from somewhere, too. So, let's both stop crying. If you cry and turn into a little crybaby, Mommy is going to tease Alice, you know."
Alice didn't speak, just nodded silently, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes with her small fists. Then, she forced a smile for me. "Okay..." she said, her voice full of renewed energy.
I couldn't see my own face, but if I could, I imagine I would be wearing a look of utter fondness. My little sun, the only remaining sliver of light in my cold life, warmed my scarred heart.
"You are the best gift Mommy ever gave me..." I murmured softly.
...
After the meal, the leisurely sunlight spilled into the room, warm enough to relax every muscle in the body. Alice's moods came and went quickly; she seemed to have already forgotten the unhappiness of the morning, pulling me down to sprawl on the floor as she played with her building blocks. Not a trace of sadness remained on her face. I watched as she used the blocks to form three human figures, then rummaged around until she found her crayons to draw three large, smiling faces on them.
"This is Daddy. Daddy is so, so tall, like a little mountain. Alice loves Daddy just like Daddy loves Alice..." She pointed to the largest pile of blocks and declared.
"This is Mommy. Alice forgot what Mommy looks like, but Alice thinks Mommy must be the prettiest mother in the world, because Daddy said so too. So, Mommy is golden all over, just like... a goddess." She pointed to the block structure made entirely of yellow pieces, explaining in her childish babble.
"And this... this is Alice. Even though Alice is small right now, Alice is definitely going to grow taller than Daddy. In the future, Alice is going to be a really cool knight, and then, one day, Alice is going to ride her very own little horse around the world, and one day Alice is going to find Mommy, hehe~" Alice straightened her posture, spreading her hands out with her fists on her hips, her tiny button nose held up very, very high.
The sunlight streamed through the window onto our backs, stretching my shadow out very, very long. For some reason, my vision grew misty again—so misty that I could no longer see Alice's shadow...
Clara, my little canary, do you see? Our child, Alice, has grown up. You must be able to rest easy now, too. With you accompanying me in my heart, I will definitely take good care of her... I'm going to take your share and mine together... and live a life happier than anyone else alongside Alice—