When I opened my eyes, my head was splitting. The aftereffects of that bottle of Maotai last night were something else. I rubbed my temples, only to brush against a cascade of long hair.
"What is going on?" I bolted upright, realizing I was lying on a hard wooden bed, dressed in coarse cloth garments.
"Junior Brother Huanxi, you're awake?" A bearded man pushed open the door, shaking a wine gourd in his hand. "Last night you said you'd drink until dawn, and you passed out after three bowls."
I widened my eyes. "Linghu Chong?"
"What, still not sober? Don't even recognize your Senior Brother?" He laughed heartily, tossing the wine gourd to me. "Quick, have a hair of the dog. Master is waiting for us to practice the sword."
I pinched my thigh—ouch! It wasn't a dream. I, Huanxi, a playboy from modern society, had actually transmigrated into the world of The Smiling, Proud Wanderer!
"Senior Brother," I took a swig of the wine and smacked my lips, "I want to go down the mountain for a stroll today."
"Thinking of the Yihong Brothel again?" Linghu Chong winked playfully. "Careful Master catches you and breaks your legs."
"Better to die under a peony blossom, a romantic ghost even in death," I grinned impudently, slipping on my boots. Since I had come to this martial arts world, wouldn't it be a wasted transmigrated life if I didn't experience an ancient brothel?
The town at the foot of the mountain was far livelier than in television dramas. Twirling my folding fan, I strolled into the Yihong Brothel, and the madam immediately rushed over. "Young Master Huanxi from Mount Hua is here! Cuihong has been waiting for you for ages!"
"Let's switch things up today," I fished out a silver ingot. "I heard you have a new Young Master Dong here?"
The madam's expression shifted. "That Young Master Dong has a peculiar temper. He doesn't take clients..."
I simply added two more silver ingots. Money makes the mare go, a truth eternal in both ancient and modern times.
In a quiet courtyard back room, a "young master" in red was drinking alone. From a distance, he looked like a handsome youth, but up close... where was his Adam's apple?
"Brother," I sat down with practiced familiarity. "Drinking alone is dull. Care to join me?"
"Dong Fangbai" shot me a chilling glance. "Get lost."
Oh, what a feisty one. Smiling, I poured myself a drink. "'When the sun rises in the east, I alone am undefeated'—Dong... Fang... bai? What a great name!"
The wine cup shattered into powder in his hand. A chill ran down my spine, but I kept my composure. "Don't be tense, I'm not your enemy. In fact," I leaned in and whispered, "I don't think that old codger Ren Woxing is worthy of you."
Dongfang Bubai's gaze turned dangerous and curious. "Who are you?"
"Huanxi of the Mount Hua Sect, an... admirer who appreciates you." I raised my glass. "A toast to the greatest beauty in the world?"
He (or she?) suddenly chuckled, a smile of breathtaking allure. "Interesting. Aren't you afraid I'll kill you?"
"Better to die under a peony blossom," I blinked. "Though before that, may I have this dance?"
"A dance?"
Humming the melody of The Smiling, Proud Wanderer, I took his hand and spun him around. Clearly unaccustomed to someone paying such absolute disregard to the rules, Dongfang Bubai actually let me lead him through two turns.
"You really..." He shook his head with a laugh, "are utterly audacious."
"That's called romance." I seized the opportunity to wrap an arm around his waist. "In my hometown, this is how you pursue the one you love."
"Pursue?" He narrowed his eyes. "Do you know who I am..."
"Leader of the Sun Moon Holy Cult, obviously," I waved my hand dismissively. "So what? Love doesn't distinguish between genders... uh, or martial arts levels?"
Dongfang Bubai suddenly pinned me against the wall, a finger pressing against my throat. "Do you believe I could right now..."
"You can't bear to." I looked straight into his eyes. "Because no one has ever treated you this way—unfazed by your power, unafraid of your martial arts, simply... liking you for who you are."
His finger relaxed slightly. Seizing the moment, I leaned in and pecked him lightly on the lips.
Heaven and earth as my witness, I was gambling. I'd either be riddled with needles like a sieve, or...
Dongfang Bubai actually blushed! The greatest martial arts master in the world, kissed by a third-rate sect disciple, and blushing!
"Come back to Heimu Cliff with me." He grabbed my wrist. "I'm going to properly... interrogate you."
"Interrogations are boring," I dragged my feet, refusing to move. "How about we keep dancing?"
He glared at me, then hoisted me straight over his shoulder. Amidst the slack-jawed astonishment of everyone in the Yihong Brothel, I was thus "kidnapped."
All the way up the mountain, my mouth didn't rest. "Lord Leader, what skincare products do you usually use? Your skin is really nice. Do they have hot pot on Heimu Cliff? If not, I'll teach you how to make it. You'd definitely look gorgeous in women's clothes, want to try..."
Dongfang Bubai finally lost his patience and sealed my mute pressure point. But judging by the curve of his lips, he was clearly smiling.
Upon reaching Heimu Cliff, he dumped me onto a bed strewn with flower petals. Well! This treatment wasn't bad at all.
"Now," he released my pressure point, leaning in close, "tell me what your exact game is."
"My game is simple," I reached out to toy with his long hair. "Letting the greatest beauty in the world experience what true happiness is."
"Just you?"
"Just me." I abruptly flipped over, pinning him beneath me. "Back in my era, we call this 'turning the tables'."
A flash of panic crossed Dongfang Bubai's eyes, quickly replaced by his haughty pride. "Impudent!"
Yet when he tried to channel his inner energy, he found his internal power sluggish—I had secretly slipped him a bit of Ten-Fragrance Soft-Muscle Powder along the journey. My thanks to old master Jin Yong for the creative inspiration.
"Don't worry, just a little bit." I gently kissed his earlobe. "Tonight... let me be your leader."
Moonlight filtered through the gauze curtains, illuminating his gradually intoxicating face.