Chapter 9

"What about later?" Shu Dong did not speak. She took the envelope from Song Feng's hand and walked out of the internet café. What a cold and heartless girl. Song Feng lay back in his chair, feeling somewhat as if he had been taken for a ride. He watched Shu Dong's retreating figure—a strip of slender, faintly discernible waist showing between her tight black T-shirt and gray-green cargo pants, paired with her expressionless yet occasionally provocative face... Boss Song felt a slight stir of temptation. Descending the stairs to the first floor, Shu Dong looked down at the envelope in her hand. Although it was very light, it felt terribly heavy. She looked up toward the upper floor, then vanished into the alley. Even Shu Dong herself failed to notice that when she was with Song Feng, her usual obstacles and awkwardness in communicating with people vanished. She could express her emotions, facial expressions, and verbal actions quite normally. It was like a wooden puppet infused with a soul.

Upon returning home, Shu Dong boiled a bowl of noodles. As she ate, she opened the envelope and counted the money. When she reached the end, a complicated feeling welled up inside her... There were actually five thousand yuan inside. It was too much. Shu Dong put down her chopsticks, pulled out two thousand yuan, and prepared to return it to Brother Lin. For some reason, owing Song Feng made her feel much more at ease. Opening the chat window with Yu Zhiyi, Shu Dong wanted to tell him the money was ready, but halfway through typing, she paused. Tomorrow was Saturday, and Yu Zhiyi still lived at the school dorm... How about giving him a surprise? She had never been to his school before. With this thought, Shu Dong deleted the half-edited message, a faint smile playing at the corners of her mouth, and went back to eating the rest of her noodles.

On Saturday, Song Feng's shop was quite lively. Many of the young delinquents had been holding back all week, just waiting for this day. Grandma Song had bought a water dispenser for the shop, saying that kids drinking beverages all day was bad for their health and they should drink more hot water from now on. But these little brats still drank a bottle of sugary poison every single day. Which ultimately benefited Song Feng. Boss Song had brought a thermos from home—one that someone had given to Grandpa Meng for Teacher's Day last year—along with some goji berries. All day long, he curled up in his chair, enjoying his retirement. And today, he took one step closer to elderly life: he stopped playing games, took out a junior high school calligraphy copybook he had never finished, and practiced writing. "Do you need to switch to a brush in a few days?" Chen Hui pushed open the door and saw Boss Song looking like an old monk in deep meditation, bathed in sunlight, portraying a sense of tranquil years passing by. But the sight only made Chen Hui's heart flutter with anxiety... It looked as if Song was on the verge of seeing through the mortal world and becoming a monk. "Brother Feng, are you going to the bar tonight? There's a new female DJ who's very pretty—her type is right up your alley." Chen Hui tried hard to revive Boss Song's passion for the mortal world. "Not going." Song Feng didn't stop writing, nor did he look up. "Reason?" Chen Hui asked. "Noisy." Chen Hui felt a twinge in his liver: "Brother, you're twenty-one this year, not eighty-one. Move your waist a little, lest you end up useless in bed!" Useless? The tip of the pen paused on the paper, letting ink bleed out. Song Feng looked up at Chen Hui and dropped the pen: "Who's useless?" "..." Chen Hui choked for a moment. "Me." Song Feng picked up the pen again, though his mind was no longer on the copybook... Should he go sign up at a gym another day? "I've gained twenty pounds staying at home these past six months. Brother Feng, did you grow any fat on your belly?" Chen Hui went to lift Song Feng's T-shirt, and immediately caught sight of faint abdominal muscles and the ribs along his side. It looked damn good, and Chen Hui's anger flared up instantly: "Why? I'm out running around in wind and rain every day, and running back and forth at home too, while you just lie here all day without moving..." Here he goes again... Song Feng rubbed his ears: "You'd be better off losing weight by talking. Your mouth loses a millimeter a day." "..." Rejected again. Pouring a cup of hot water and tossing in some goji berries, Chen Hui pulled over a chair and sat down quietly, suddenly remembering the picture that had been poked countless times last night... Chen Hui coughed and looked away: "How come we haven't seen our only female deity lately?" Trying to practice calligraphy against the sound of smashing keyboards was already difficult enough, and with Chen Hui chattering away beside him, Song Feng simply snapped his fountain pen shut and closed the copybook. "Brother Feng..." Chen Hui was the kind of person who wouldn't let things fall awkward even if he were alone. He leaned closer to Song Feng and lowered his voice: "Some classmates from the same school as Yu Zhiyi are saying he has a girlfriend at school. What... what's going on with that?" Song Feng froze for a second, looking a bit surprised, and then his brow furrowed tightly. His gaze fell on the bottom right corner of the monitor, though his eyes lacked focus. Suddenly, Song Feng thought of her borrowing money last night... and then he looked down at the street corner outside, where he hadn't seen her even once today. "I'm heading down for a bit." Song Feng walked toward the door. Chen Hui, possessing a healthy amount of self-awareness, didn't ask where he was going, but desperately wanted to follow.

Song Feng's legs looked exceptionally long today, moving with a stride that brought the wind with it, and his usual laziness had completely vanished. He knew that underneath his polished exterior, Yu Zhiyi was rotten, but he hadn't expected him to be rotten to this extent. Song Feng pushed open the glass door. The first floor was empty, so he sat down and waited for a moment. Having rushed out, he had forgotten his phone, but after waiting for nearly half an hour, he finally saw Brother Lin come downstairs. Lin Feng looked slightly surprised to see Song Feng: "Yo, when did you get here?" "Just got here a moment ago," Song Feng smiled. He had no mood for small talk and asked directly, "Is Shu Dong in the shop?" "Xiao Dong asked for leave today. Said she was going to see her boyfriend. What's up, looking for her?" Brother Lin smiled, though his smile carried a meaningful undertone. After all, he was experienced and could sense certain developments. Song Feng's eyelashes lowered, and suddenly he wasn't as rushed as he had been when he first arrived. Some things she had to see clearly for herself—let her hurt, let her cry, and then let her slowly heal. "Alright then, you go ahead with your work. I'll drop by again when I have time," Song Feng told Brother Lin after recovering his composure. "Okay, take care." Lin Feng watched Song Feng walk out, smiled, shook his head, and headed back up to the second floor.

After a one-hour high-speed train ride, Shu Dong arrived quickly. But the swarming crowd on the platform and the waiting trains... Shu Dong suddenly felt a wave of palpitation, and her breathing grew uneven. She quickly steadied herself and moved with the flow of people out of the station. Finding Yu Zhiyi's school via navigation, Shu Dong wandered around the campus for a while, wanting to understand the scenery he looked at every day. Only when her feet grew tired did she walk toward his dormitory building. If she remembered correctly, he had previously mentioned he lived in the seventh apartment building. Perhaps because it was Saturday and the weather was nice, people were coming and going beneath the apartment building—groups of classmates here and there, and couples chatting at the foot of the dorms. The thought that she would see Yu Zhiyi in just a moment made Shu Dong smile as she took out her phone, preparing to call him. They rarely called each other. Staring at that familiar yet unfamiliar phone number, Shu Dong pressed call. The waiting tone rang in the earpiece. Just as the call went through, Shu Dong looked up and saw a familiar figure emerging from the dormitory building, mere three or four meters away. What a coincidence. Shu Dong looked at Yu Zhiyi, unexpectedly thrilled. She was about to hang up and walk over to his side when suddenly... A girl ran up to him. And grabbed his hand. Shu Dong's footsteps stopped right there, her leg still poised in a forward-stepping posture. What... is going on here? She hadn't had time to hang up the phone, and the monotonous waiting tone still echoed in her ear. Shu Dong suddenly felt the world was hollow and vast, filled entirely with silent blankness. Her phone vibrated. Yu Zhiyi took it out, glanced at it without a flicker of expression, and hung up directly. "Who was that?" "Spam call. What do you want to eat today?" Their voices grew fainter as the two of them walked away. Shu Dong stood rooted to the spot, her whole body numb and unable to move. A spam call? She suddenly felt as though she had been thrust onto an absurd stage; she was merely an inconspicuous extra in the corner, always coveting the person under the spotlight, always yearning for the beam of light upon him. But... even if he didn't like her, why lie to her? Shu Dong's breathing gradually became disordered, and she began to tremble slightly. Amidst her pale and flat emotions, the thing Shu Dong loathed most deep within her soul was deceit, because her entire life had been filled with lies. When she was four years old, that person said he would give her candy. Uncle Jianzhou said he would treat her like his own daughter. Yu Zhiyi said... Shu Dong's mind suddenly blanked. Yu Zhiyi had never once said he loved her. So it was always just her being stupid, right? The corners of her eyes grew moist, and then completely beyond her control—even though her face remained utterly expressionless, tears streamed down her cheeks in a rush. Shu Dong looked up at the sky. She was nineteen years old this year, had never liked anyone, and had never had a boyfriend. She didn't know what it was like for two people to be together, but she had genuinely wanted to treat him well. Turns out even educated people could be this filthy. Shu Dong looked down at the white dress she was wearing. It was the one she wore the first time she accompanied him to dinner this summer, and also one of her very few white clothes, as well as her only skirt. She remembered being so careful when eating back then, terrified of getting it dirty... For Shu Dong, this dress was a burden; white did not belong to her, she felt awkward wearing a skirt, and perhaps she could never get used to anything Yu Zhiyi liked. It was just that back then, her eyes had been blinded by such a wonderful boy. That clean boy had walked into the tattoo parlor and gently told her that he liked her. Had he ever really liked her? Why was his affection so fleeting? Why did he have to lie to her? Shu Dong's nails dug deep into her flesh, leaving bright red bloody marks. In fact, everything had been predestined in the dark; they were never people of the same world. White was the color Shu Dong yearned for, because there had never been any light in her world. Yet later she discovered that black was not entirely darkness either. Also lingering in the dark corner of that stage was Song Feng. Shu Dong liking Yu Zhiyi was not wrong—just as the poor yearn for wealth, just as people whose lives are a mess always hope that one day something will happen to change their situation. People struggling in life always yearn for beauty. Her affection for Yu Zhiyi gave Shu Dong the only glimmer of hope for her desolate life, making her feel that her life could slowly get better too. Yet now, that tiny glimmer of hope had been shattered. And Yu Zhiyi's deception had poured a basin of icy water right over it. Therefore, what Yu Zhiyi cheated her out of was not just her money and her feelings; more importantly, it crushed the longing she had so painstakingly managed to foster for this world. Shu Dong walked out like a walking corpse, her hands ice-cold. She looked up at the gloomy sky... What luxury is there to expect for a wretched life? Just live on. [Author's Note: Thanks to "Simple" for throwing 1 landmine. Thanks to "A Bay of Fine Water" for irrigating 1 bottle of nutrient solution. The little broken site swallowed twenty bottles of my nutrient solution, I want to knock open its skull.]

Chapter 15

Today was undoubtedly the day Song Feng looked down toward the street the most times. And right now, he was in that exact posture. There was no one beside that large willow tree. Song Feng leaned back in his chair, slightly dazed; the copybook on the desk had a page flipped open by the wind, and the sound of keyboard clicks and mouse clicks was right beside his ear yet felt somewhat distant. Should he have told her sooner? After a few seconds, Song Feng irritably picked up the black baseball cap from his desk and pulled it down over his face. What was he thinking about with all this messy nonsense? His head hurt. "Brother Feng, Brother Feng, Shu Dong is back!" Just as Song Feng closed his eyes, Xiao Hui the news anchor went live. He immediately took off his cap, feeling for the first time that Chen Hui's voice was somewhat pleasant to the ears. But the moment he took off the cap, Song Feng froze... Why did something feel a bit off? Song Feng looked at Chen Hui: "Why are you telling me?" "Weren't you staring out the window all afternoon?" "..." Boss Song was stunned for two seconds before picking up his cap and throwing it at Chen Hui. Chen Hui nimbly dodged and ran to the very back of the internet café: "You're a grown man, what are you blushing for?" Instantly, all the delinquent brats in the internet café looked over at Song Feng, but upon seeing Boss Song's freezing-cold expression, they all hurriedly lowered their heads again. Song Feng sat expressionless, stubbornly refusing to look out the window... After being stubborn for a full minute, he walked over to the window. It was past seven o'clock now, and the sky outside was gradually darkening. The street lamps in the alley had all automatically lit up. She was leaning against the wall beside the old willow tree, half of her figure swallowed by the darkness, while the other half was blurred by the dim streetlights. She was very thin. The light was hazy, and the only reason she was easy to recognize was that she was wearing a white dress—one he seemed never to have seen before. She wasn't smoking, and he couldn't even make out her expression. The only thing he could confirm was that her face was turned directly toward the tattoo parlor—the tattoo parlor that was already closed. Song Feng could almost feel her desolate, withered aura—that lifelessness of wanting to sink and rot into the mud. It was very familiar; he had experienced it too. Song Feng sat back down in his chair and looked out the window. She was still within his line of sight, as though melting into the dark, but suddenly she moved. She walked slowly toward the tattoo parlor, opened the door, and then the lights inside the shop came on. Song Feng withdrew his gaze, unsure of what he was looking at, and even less sure whether seeing her return brought him peace of mind or deeper guilt. Boss Song walked over to the water dispenser, filled a cup of hot water, tossed in a goji berry tea bag— And started practicing calligraphy. Boss Song's handwriting was very good-looking, a match for his face. When he was little, he followed his grandfather, practicing fountain pen writing first and then brush calligraphy. The Spring Festival couplets at home were always written by the grandfather-grandson duo, and neighboring residents would sometimes come over to ask for a pair. "Brother Feng, Brother Feng, Shu Dong came out!" Boss Song had barely written five characters when Xiao Hui the news anchor went online again. Song Feng took a deep breath, the tip of his fountain pen pressing into the paper and bleeding ink. He grabbed the game controller beside him, intending to hurl it at Chen Hui, but upon raising his arm, he discovered that his mischievous "son" was all the way at the back... Song Feng twitched the corner of his mouth; the kid actually had a decent survival instinct. Boss Song didn't stubbornly ignore it this time. He tilted his head to look out the window, but at first glance, he didn't see anyone... Did she change clothes? There were clothes of Shu Dong's inside the shop; in a sense, this was equivalent to her second home. Shu Dong had changed back into her usual black T-shirt and jeans. Carrying that white dress she had only worn twice, she walked slowly to the street corner and tossed it into the trash can. Standing before the bin, Shu Dong looked at the familiar yet unfamiliar dress. Previously, she had ironed it and hung it in the wardrobe, reluctant to wear it; now it was in a garbage can, with rotting vegetable leaves hanging from its hem. By tomorrow morning, someone would haul this trash away to rot in some corner of the world. Taking one last look, Shu Dong turned away without a shred of lingering attachment—not with the numbness of before, but with the genuine cold indifference seen through the eyes of others. She walked through the alley, passing from one street lamp to the next. Light and shadow alternated, casting Shu Dong's slanted silhouette onto the road and the walls. Curiously, even the alley—usually brimming with the warmth of ordinary life—felt a few degrees colder. Desolate. She gradually melted into the night at the end of the alley and disappeared. Song Feng's gaze remained fixed on Shu Dong until she vanished from sight. He stared blankly out the window for half a minute before picking up his cap and standing up from his chair. Yet the moment Boss Song stood up, Chen Hui walked over and sat down in his chair. Song Feng didn't understand what his mischievous son was playing at, and simply looked at him with a blank, emotionless expression as he committed treason. After two seconds, Song Feng asked: "What are you doing?" Chen Hui looked up, somewhat puzzled: "Weren't you about to leave?" "..." Boss Song picked up the nearby throw pillow and smashed it against his disobedient son's head. Smashing him first and then leaving would still not be too late.

Shu Dong walked along the streets, taking in the city where she had lived for fifteen years. Her memories began with a green-skinned train, and then led right here. This small northern city was actually quite pretty—willows draped their branches in summer, sycamore leaves paved the streets in autumn, and it even snowed in winter... Having calmed down all afternoon, Shu Dong no longer felt the trembling rage of thinking about Yu Zhiyi, but she had no idea what was running through her head right now either. In short, she was a complete mess, yet amidst the chaos, her heart was also a pool of stagnant water. Boss Song was particularly fond of black; today he was wearing a black T-shirt, black pants, and black canvas shoes, complete with a black baseball cap. In the dim light, you really wouldn't have noticed him at all. Maintaining a distance of twenty or thirty meters, he followed behind Shu Dong... No, he wasn't following her; he was just in a good mood for a stroll today. He was merely taking a walk. He walked exceptionally slowly today. A trip that normally took twenty minutes seemed to stretch out into an hour, yet Shu Dong felt none of it. She couldn't feel the passage of time, nor the people bustling around her. Arriving outside her residential complex, she habitually walked toward that utility pole. A new missing person notice had been added to the others. Shu Dong silently recited the words on the paper from beginning to end, word by word in her heart. This time it was a little kitten. Her peripheral vision swept over the previous notice, now tattered and ruined by the rain—she wondered if those stray cats and dogs had ever been found. After reading it, Shu Dong entered the complex. Song Feng stood right where Shu Dong had been standing a moment before, glanced over, and followed her into the complex, his pace involuntarily faster than before. The older residential buildings didn't have access control gates outside. After stepping inside, guided by the dim, flickering lights, she walked into the second unit. Song Feng walked up to it, only to find an access control lock on the unit door. He looked up and scanned the upper floors twice. Just as he was hesitating whether to turn back, an elderly man walked past him and pushed the door open. "Must have forgotten your key, young man," the old man said, holding the door open for Song Feng to enter after he went inside. Song Feng froze for two seconds, his legs following him in as if by some mysterious whim. He nonchalantly pulled the brim of his cap lower: "I came out in a rush this afternoon and forgot to bring it. Thank you." "I always see you taking a ball out these past few days. Just getting back?" The old man was around seventy or eighty, looking as though he had just returned from a stroll outside, though he had clearly mistaken Song Feng for someone else. "Yeah, just got back," Song Feng replied, his expression unchanging. "Good, hurry on home then. I'm heading up too." The old man lived on the first floor and walked away immediately after speaking, leaving the word "Thanks" stuck in Song Feng's throat, unspoken. He walked forward to the elevator. The elevator was stopped at floor 9 and hadn't moved. In less than two minutes, no one had gone in or come out—unless her home was on the first floor too... Song Feng opened the elevator and pressed the number 9. The elevator slowly ascended. He had to admit, Boss Song had a real talent for playing the villain. The numbers climbed steadily and soon came to a stop. Song Feng paused in the elevator for two seconds before stepping out. Except the moment he stepped out, Song Feng froze... There were four units on this floor. His own place only had east and west units, and Song Feng would never have imagined this ghost place could have four apartments per floor... Was he going on a pilgrimage to the Western Heaven with all these trials? Besides, he wasn't marrying anyone! The hallway lights were on. Song Feng stood rooted to the spot, his gaze sweeping from this door to the next... Unsolvable.