Where is my harem? I'm asking you, where is it?! Huh?!
As a guy who finally crossed over into the Naruto world, am I supposed to not hit on the local native girls, but instead flirt with some cosplayer in a skin suit?
If I had that kind of refined taste, why wouldn't I just go hit on actual cosplayers?
Hiss... Cosplayers... Wait, that actually works too?
Ahem!
Pulling his wildly racing thoughts together, Naruto opened his mouth, but for a moment he had no idea what to say.
"We'll talk in detail later." Sakura interrupted Naruto's spell-casting and motioned for Sasuke to begin his self-introduction.
Kakashi scratched his eyebrow, looking at the two of them with an increasingly bizarre expression.
He had originally expected to hear Naruto's high-spirited and ambitious declarations, or a shy young girl's tender affections.
Yet right now, it felt as though he wasn't facing fresh graduates at all, but rather a pair of world-weary, slack-off Jonin roughly on his own level.
How come this was completely different from what Lord Hokage had described?
Did I miss something?
Amidst this strange atmosphere, the four of them finished their self-introductions one by one, and Sasuke's vengeful speech grew completely pale and insignificant in the general silence.
Kakashi's heart was filled with utter depression.
It wasn't just that Naruto and Sakura had maintained a completely lukewarm reaction throughout; it was when he announced that tomorrow's field survival exercise was coming up, repeatedly emphasizing the extremely high elimination rate, and warning them in a menacing tone not to eat breakfast tomorrow or they'd throw it up—
Naruto had rubbed his nose, and then, as if waking from a great dream, deadpanned: "Wow, what a truly terrifying mission, I can't possibly guess what's going to happen tomorrow!"
Sakura straightened her hair and chimed in: "This is a test of love, I'm so nervous I could die!" Then she shot an extremely deliberate glance at Sasuke.
Of the four, only Sasuke seemed tense the whole time, his palms clenched into tight fists until his knuckles turned white.
Kakashi scratched his eyebrow, feeling that things were far from simple...
Soon, Team 7 was dismissed.
Naruto and Sakura found a deserted spot, and the latter paused for a moment before calmly saying:
"Sasuke is most likely a local native. As for the other main characters, I've observed them and there are currently no signs of soul possession."
"What we can confirm right now is that the two of us have taken up the male and female protagonist slots."
Naruto was slightly taken aback: "You actually think things through pretty thoroughly."
"Mm. Now we need to figure out the rules of this transmigration. If this is a mass transmigration, the plot of Naruto will be completely overturned, and the two of us might very well die violent deaths."
Naruto's expression grew tense: "No way. No matter what, I'm a Jinchuriki. Even without the Six Paths cheat in the early stages, I still have the Nine-Tails to help me save my skin. Saving your skin along the way shouldn't be much of a problem either, right?"
Sakura shook her head: "It's not that simple. It's just like multiplayer mode in Elden Ring—when you're playing solo you can mess around however you want, but once you go multiplayer, shady veterans are lurking everywhere and you can't guard against them all, let alone when you and I are the main characters of the story."
Hearing this, Naruto's brow furrowed deeply.
It wasn't that what Sakura said was wrong, but rather her choice of example...
Elden Ring? Have you ever seen a breathing, wild, hardcore single-player game female gamer?
In his twenty-some years in his past life, Naruto had only ever caught videos of someone beating Sekiro bosses hitless on the internet.
"Ahem, tell me honestly," Naruto looked at Sakura, his face full of suspicion, "You aren't biologically male and mentally female, are you?"
Combining Sakura's earlier statement that she came from Sichuan and Chongqing—
You have to understand that Sichuan and Chongqing not only produced vibrant, pretty girls, but also a certain breed of feminine creature known as a bottom...
"What, are you questioning my gender?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Biological females aren't allowed to play Elden Ring?"
"Of course not. By the way, do you play Black Myth: Wukong?"
"Yeah, I specifically bought the collector's edition... But this isn't the time to be discussing that, is it?"
"Ahem, right," Naruto forcibly dragged his thoughts back to the main topic, though a bearded, burly man's image couldn't help but pop up in his mind.
Tsk tsk, hard to say.
Still, it didn't matter; anyone willing to buy the collector's edition of Black Myth: Wukong was at least a decent person, right?
Naruto: "So what are your plans now?"
Sakura: "I'll practice Monstrous Strength as fast as possible and learn some self-defense techniques. You should hurry up and negotiate with the Nine-Tails—time to collect your rent."
"So basically, speedrunning the progress."
"Right, we're in a race against time."
"But at the same time, we also have to stick to the plot as much as possible? That way we can always have first-hand intelligence."
"Mm."
Sakura nodded, then added: "Let's leave it at that for now. We shouldn't stay together too long; you're a Jinchuriki, and the Third Hokage might have people watching you."
"How cautious," Naruto clicked his tongue. "By the way, if I establish a close 'comforting' relationship with other female ninjas later on, you shouldn't mind, right?"
Sakura expressionlessly replied: "Is that the only thing you guys think about when you cross over?"
"Tsk, don't be so rigid. I can help you hook up with Sasuke, Sai, and Kakashi, too."
Sakura shot Naruto a fierce glare: "Scumbag!"
Naruto spread his hands helplessly: "Big sis, you don't happen to have some sort of virginity complex, do you?"
Sakura replied coldly: "I don't think that has any meaning. Instead of thinking about such nonsense, you'd better figure out how to survive here."
With that, she turned and started to walk away.
"Hey, wait a second!"
"What?"
"What about tomorrow's exercise? Should I borrow Kurama's chakra and mess around with Kakashi?"
"Is that necessary?" Sakura turned her head. "You go trigger the traps a bit earlier tomorrow, then we'll walk through the script. Once we finish touching Kakashi's heart, we can wrap it up and call it a day."
"So smart!" Naruto grinned and gave a thumbs-up. "But I really do want to mess around with Kakashi a bit. After all, I never got to fight anyone in my past life."
Sakura thought about it and said, "Fine, you can fight if you want, as long as we follow the script in the end."
"Got it."
Evening.
After finishing his instant noodles, Naruto sat cross-legged on the bed, his mind plunging completely inward.
In a daze, he felt his body slowly sinking, and the surrounding space began to grow damp, accompanied by the sound of dripping water and gusts of chilly wind.
Naruto opened his eyes, looking around with curiosity as he walked forward.
Soon, he arrived before a towering gate, vaguely sensing heavy breathing washing over him, tainted with a trace of fishy stench.
Naruto looked ahead and said indifferently, "Stop pretending to be asleep, let's talk."
"Roar—!"
A powerful roar burst forth, accompanied by a pair of crimson eyes opening wide and slowly approaching Naruto.
"Brat, why disturb my slumber?"
The Nine-Tails' deep, rumbling voice echoed through the cramped space, causing the surroundings to vibrate.
Naruto: "I'm coming to find you tomorrow, so lend me some chakra to use then."
The Nine-Tails' huge eyes narrowed slightly: "Why should I listen to you?"
"Because only I can help you lift the seal," Naruto chuckled softly. "This is a transaction: you give me chakra, and I give you freedom."
"Brat, do you think your lies are very clever?"
"First of all, I am not a brat. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, you damn well better remember that."
"Secondly, believe it or not, I have nothing to lose either way."
Without looking back, Naruto turned and left, his mind quickly returning to reality.
Perhaps due to the transmigration, Naruto could clearly feel that his control over his soul was far superior to that of the original Naruto.
Meanwhile, the Nine-Tails savored Naruto's parting words and fell into silence.