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They said I was a waste of space—until a mysterious voice told me to max out my credit cards on spa treatments. Now I'm cultivating immortality in a capitalist hellscape where genius runs in the family, but I got left behind. My prodigy sister won't look at me, my mom wishes I'd disappear, and my legendary father delivers food in silence. But when I took out 20,000 yuan in predatory loans for 'wellness treatments,' everything changed. This is urban cultivation like you've never seen it: absurd, meme-filled, and brutally honest about what it means to chase power when you're already drowning in…